Difficult relationship with my girlfriend because of a bad mistake

[ExchangeStudent05]

Hello dear community

I'm currently having a real crisis with my girlfriend because I did something pretty crazy a while ago. We recently spent a weekend together in Miami. One evening we were at a nightclub and I had a few too many drinks... Then I did something really crazy. I danced up to a woman in a pretty aggressive way... Then it quickly escalated into a verbal altercation with her boyfriend/companion, and well... I got a few hard punches to the face, so I had to walk around with a totally bruised face for the whole week... But I also have to say that I touched the lady's butt when I danced up to her. What I found worse than the beating was my girlfriend's reaction. Right after it happened, she said that I had only myself to blame and has been rubbing it in my face ever since, telling me what a weakling I am. I find that very hurtful of her because it was already a very humiliating situation. I always get very quiet and don't know what to say. I want her to take me seriously again.

What do you think?

[basil67]

By staying around and accepting her insults, you're reinforcing her idea that you're weak.   If you want to show strength, end the relationship and walk away from her belittling you.

Edited Friday at 09:33 PM by basil67

[Gebidozo]

You did a really stupid thing in that nightclub. If you deliberately touched my partner’s butt like that, I’d probably punch you too. Not to mention that you borderline cheated on your girlfriend.

Your girlfriend is understandably mad at you but probably hesitating whether she should break up with you or not. So she channels her anger and frustration into insults. It’s certainly an unpleasant experience for you, but you are the one who messed up.

Apologize to her humbly and see whether she is able to forgive you. I can only tell you that if I touched another woman’s butt like that I’d be feeling sorry for that and accept my partner’s justified expression of distaste.

[Sanch62]

I don't understand why either of you still tolerates the other. You were not only disrespectful to the woman you assaulted in the club, but your behavior also said 'f-you' to your GF. So you're not in a partnership on the same side; you're adversaries. 

[Els]

So you sexually harassed another woman in a club, got beaten up for it, but you can't accept it when you're told that you only have yourself to blame? 

Well, sorry, dude, but you only have yourself to blame. And yes, you absolutely deserve to feel humiliated, because you were sexually harassing a woman who just wanted to dance. If I were her I'd have left immediately. Good on the guy for teaching you a lesson, too.

Edited Saturday at 11:38 PM by Els

[ExpatInItaly]

Me thinks someone is taking the forum for a ride. 

[ExchangeStudent05]

9 hours ago, Els said:

So you sexually harassed another woman in a club, got beaten up for it, but you can't accept it when you're told that you only have yourself to blame? 

Well, sorry, dude, but you only have yourself to blame. And yes, you absolutely deserve to feel humiliated, because you were sexually harassing a woman who just wanted to dance. If I were her I'd have left immediately. Good on the guy for teaching you a lesson, too.

Well thank you for your honest reply. I know that I brought it in myself kind of but when is this gonna stop? Isnt it a partners job to stand by and Support the other partner when he got hurt even when he messed up?

[Gebidozo]

52 minutes ago, ExchangeStudent05 said:

Isnt it a partners job to stand by and Support the other partner when he got hurt even when he messed up?

Not when the messing up part involved hurting said partner.

Also, isn’t she already standing by you? She didn’t break up with you after that nasty bit. Some women totally would. Why would you feel entitled to get even more support from her than that?

Imagine if you discover that your girlfriend got drunk, stroked some dude’s dick in a nightclub and got slapped by his own girlfriend in return.

What would your reaction be? Honestly?