Married Friend With Benefits Is In Love With Me

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing a married man for about a year now, and today he confessed that he is in love with me, and he wants me to quit my job as an exotic dancer. He is , according to him, being neglected sexually(nor does she cook so he eats fast food all of the time) by his wife who is an engineer after making several attempts to get his needs met in his marriage.

He has also started being more romantic, paying my bills, buying me flowers, lingerie, and also spending the night with me at my place. He cooks for me when he is here. 

Today while he was over my place, he told me that he is in love with me. From the beginning, I told him that because he is married, all we can do is have sex (as I am clearly aware that most who indulge in extramarital affairs do not leave their marriage for their affair partner), & that my intent is not to blow up his marriage or cause any drama. They sleep in separate bedrooms & sex between them is non-existent. He is 53, & I am 23. 

As someone who put my cards on the table in the beginning (I'm single and am not currently looking for love), how should I hande him telling me that he has fallen in love with me? 

I was honest about what we would be the moment he told me he was married after we decided to see each one another. 

[ExpatInItaly]

First of all, please know that cheaters lie, so he is probably also lying to you about the true state of his marriage and the reasons for it. 

Second, understand that he is trying to manipulate you by paying your bills and buying you gifits. That's not about "love" for a guy like this. And why can you not pay your own bills? Haven't you got enough money? 

Third, girl, what are you doing with your life? You are young and in your prime. Surely you can attract better-quality men than this. You don't need to "handle" anything about hin saying he is in love. He is not available to actually date and he'd be a horrible candidate for a relationship anyway. It's time to get your values and prirorities straightened out. 

[Gebidozo]

The best way to handle this would be to stop having sex with a married man.

Do you have feelings for him? If you do, then tell him to divorce his wife, and then the two of you can take it from here.

Just bear in mind that you should take his love confession with a grain of salt. It’s very easy for a 53 year old man living a sexless life to delude himself into believing that what he is feeling for a 23 year old women who sleeps with him is love.

If don’t have feelings for him, don’t humiliate yourself and him by sleeping with him in exchange for gifts.