Emotionless Spouse

[Chubbs]

My wife and I have been married for 30 years.  It has been an up and down marriage but mostly good.  We have raised 2 children with 1 now married and the other finally out of the house.  As we raised our children, we put them first probably over our marriage.  We are now empty nesters and have discussed that we are looking forward to focusing on each other.  Then her mother has medical issues and she is needed to help take care of her.  Unfortunately her parents live hours away.  She recently stayed there for 1 month without coming home.  I visited for a weekend half way through her stay.  She is home now but getting ready to go back. When we are apart we only talk about her family.  When I try to talk about other things she changes the conversation back to herself and family. I have shared with her that I am frustrated that she does not care about our intimacy not just physical but mental, emotional and spiritual.  I keep bringing this up as I feel so distant from her.  I don't know what is going on in her head. I ask questions but don't get answers which I feel she is hiding something. When I to confront her she seems numb and is quiet. I am trying to have patience that this too will pass. I am know that I over think things, but I am worried that something else is going on. Thoughts?

[Gebidozo]

I don’t see how her current distress can be classified as “emotionless”.

She is obviously upset and worried about her mother. Unless there are other issues going on between you two, why would you think she is hiding something?

People deal with emotional distress differently. Some crave intimacy, physical or spiritual, while others withdraw. She is distant not because she doesn’t care about you, but because she is upset about other things.

As for talking only about her family, well, again, people are different. Some prefer to be distracted from whatever upsets them, while others feel better when they constantly talk about it.

I think you might want to focus on supporting her through the tough times. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Gebidozo

[Chubbs]

That is good insight.  I looked at it differently as she is someone that hyper focuses on some things while ignoring others. I get that about her.  I am trying to support her through this time with her mother, but it is tough.  Part of my struggle is how long do I suppress my feelings.  I share them with her and crickets.  But I realize that we are all different and handle things differently.

[Marvin R Zambrano]

1 hour ago, Chubbs said:

My wife and I have been married for 30 years.  It has been an up and down marriage but mostly good.  We have raised 2 children with 1 now married and the other finally out of the house.  As we raised our children, we put them first probably over our marriage.  We are now empty nesters and have discussed that we are looking forward to focusing on each other.  Then her mother has medical issues and she is needed to help take care of her.  Unfortunately her parents live hours away.  She recently stayed there for 1 month without coming home.  I visited for a weekend half way through her stay.  She is home now but getting ready to go back. When we are apart we only talk about her family.  When I try to talk about other things she changes the conversation back to herself and family. I have shared with her that I am frustrated that she does not care about our intimacy not just physical but mental, emotional and spiritual.  I keep bringing this up as I feel so distant from her.  I don't know what is going on in her head. I ask questions but don't get answers which I feel she is hiding something. When I to confront her she seems numb and is quiet. I am trying to have patience that this too will pass. I am know that I over think things, but I am worried that something else is going on. Thoughts?

Many of us are entangled in a web of deceit, remaining oblivious as we willingly turn a blind eye to the truth, driven by our infatuation with love. However, my perspective shifted when I crossed paths with Donald , whose contact information I will provide below. Donald  team aided me in installing spyware on my partner's phone, granting me access to their movements, calls, and messages. Now, I find myself caught in a dilemma between confronting my partner and deciding on my next course of action, grappling with the intricacies of life.Contact information for Donald 

 

Email __ GREENHACKER08@GMAIL COM