Is uncertainty worse than the truth in relationships?

[Stacey Barnes]

I’m a 29M and recently came out of a long-term relationship. Something I keep reflecting on is how the hardest part wasn’t even what may or may not have happened — it was the uncertainty.

That constant feeling something might be wrong, but not having clarity… it slowly drains your peace, your focus, even your sense of self.

Some people say trust blindly. Others say walk away. But I wonder — is not knowing actually the hardest part?

For those who’ve been through this, did finding the truth (even if painful) bring peace? Or did uncertainty linger either way?

I’m genuinely curious how others deal with this mentally and emotionally.

[Gebidozo]

Not knowing what? Truth about what?

Unless you provide some details about what happened we can’t say whether trusting or walking away was the best solution in your case.

[Sanch62]

10 hours ago, Stacey Barnes said:

Some people say trust blindly. Others say walk away. But I wonder — is not knowing actually the hardest part?

I've never heard anyone advise that blindness and trust somehow go together for any kind of successful outcome. While I've seen lots of suggestions to walk away, they've each addressed a specific context, which you haven't given. If you'd care to elaborate, maybe we can be of more help in that sense.

In cases where a relationship is not open and intimate enough for honest communication, which can discuss care and concern between partners who view themselves as being on the same side, rather than as suspicious adversaries who lapse into accusatory confrontations, then that alone speaks of an unhealthy dynamic that doesn't serve anyone.

Either a relationship can meet your needs and desires for a shared future, or it cannot. If you find yourself unable to communicate with a partner in ways that help you determine this, then that fact alone tells you your answer, regardless of how trust-worthy a given partner might actually be.

Edited February 6 by Sanch62

[ShyViolet]

Why did you have a constant feeling that something was wrong in your relationship?

[MarriageRealist]

On 2/5/2026 at 11:32 PM, Stacey Barnes said:

I’m a 29M and recently came out of a long-term relationship. Something I keep reflecting on is how the hardest part wasn’t even what may or may not have happened — it was the uncertainty.

That constant feeling something might be wrong, but not having clarity… it slowly drains your peace, your focus, even your sense of self.

Some people say trust blindly. Others say walk away. But I wonder — is not knowing actually the hardest part?

For those who’ve been through this, did finding the truth (even if painful) bring peace? Or did uncertainty linger either way?

I’m genuinely curious how others deal with this mentally and emotionally.

You’re absolutely right that not knowing is often harder than the truth. Living in uncertainty keeps you stuck, anxious, and constantly second-guessing everything, which is exhausting. When you finally know the truth, even if it hurts, at least you can deal with reality and move forward. The pain of finding out is usually temporary, but the peace of mind that comes from knowing where you stand is lasting. Most people who’ve been through this say they wish they’d found out sooner rather than living in that draining limbo

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