3 years.. long enough??

[KieranMc]

Ok... before we start, this may take a fair few lines to explain. So please read and comment.

 

Met a girl, been seeing eacother for about 3 months. We slept together within a few weeks (not unusual, but a shame I suppose) and things are going really well... sort of.

 

I took her to italy for New years and it was great, we really enjoyed ourselves, not had a holiday in ten years.

 

Although it's only three months in, this is the first relationship I have allowed myself to get into in three years. Mainly due to focusing on career etc. I am earning that which I aimed to earn at this time in my life and things are very comfortable. She is financially sufficient and independent, so is in no need of assistance (makes a change... from girls I have mistakenly chosen in the past).

 

Anyway... onto the problem. We have been very happy together and spent a lot of time together... Yesterday I had a few days off from work to rest etc and stayed at her place. I have stayed there many times aswell as when she isn't there. I tend to just tidy up, do the dishes etc, then go home. Before I left I had mentioned that I would take the holiday photographs to show to family... I picked up what I THOUGHT were the photos but when I looked inside they were pictures of her posing (naked). They were in a draw she has labelled PHOTOS which I have seen a thousand times. She has pulled out what I thought was every photo she had but obviously not..

 

At first she failed to see the logic behind getting our photos from the photo drawer... although I can understand NOW how she can feel violated.. as I was being a typical inconsiderate moron by just taking before double checking.

 

Now.. I'm secure enough in my own ego to know that they are not recent pictures.. plus the date on them and her hair colour kind of gives the date away.. The issue I have are as follows..

 

1. Why does she still have them?

2. How do I get past seeing that when we are together? (Please any suggestions are welcome yet naivety is not my forte therefore I am aware there will be no quick fix.. if any)

3. Why on earth do Men handle things like this so badly? Rather than being sensible and thinking to myself - "It's none of my business and it was a past relationship.. get over it." I create the whole scenario in my head and then feel ill.

 

I've had difficulty getting aroused around her since (well.. one day) and worry that it will get worse rather than better.

 

Suggestions?

 

Keep flame to a minimum... plz

[bluechocolate]

I don't really see what the problem is here. Did you think she was an innocent little virgin before you 'had' her? Is she not allowed to have had intimate relations with other men in her past?

 

1. Why does she still have them?

Sometimes the right question to ask is not why, but rather why not?

 

Exactly what is it that bothers you so much about these photos?

[morrigan]

1. Why does she still have them?

2. How do I get past seeing that when we are together?

3. Why on earth do Men handle things like this so badly? Rather than being sensible and thinking to myself - "It's none of my business and it was a past relationship.. get over it."

 

1. Because they are hers and she can do what she wants with them. What about them keeps bothering you? If you're that curious, why not just ask? I've painted and photographed two of my platonic friends in the nude.

 

2. Everyone has memories and mementos of their past. They are in a drawer, not being displayed to you. Previous relationships are relevant in that they helped to shape the person you find attractive today. Your past experiences are no different.

 

3. There have been posts by both sexes on LS about finding photos of a SO's exes. Do you feel she has a right to be bothered about former lovers of yours that aren't a part of your life anymore?

[Weye]

So she has some pictures. Its not worth getting upset about.

 

Answers to your questions:

1.) That's her business.

2.) Don't be so insecure. You know she's had past lovers right? You've seen a couple pictures of one of them. Life goes on.

3.) Don't generalize. Pleant of guys wouldn't feel something like that was a big enough deal to merit a posting. And there are enough women who would go bezerk if they saw photos of their lovers ex.