cygny Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 but I'm feeling worse now than I did before posting my story. I feel like breaking down even more becasue I feel there is absolutely no hope and I messed up really bad. I've forgiven him many times, can't he forgive me? I made a mistake and I shouldn't have strung him along-- but I really didn't think I would have met someone else. And then I couldn't bring myself to tell him because I didn't think it would last with the other guy, and I didn't want to hurt him even more by telling him I was dating someone else. I didn't think honesty would have been the best thing for either of us at that time. So I kept lying about it, even though we weren't together. I feel really bad about doing that, and I'm so scared he'll never speak to me again. I feel so bad, worse than before. NO! Stop feeling bad! Stop blaming yourself! that is just what he wants. this is just a stupid power game is all. i agree if you LIED to him, directly--then you are going to have to eat sh*t on this one. you don't lie. you know that. but mainly you hurt his ego. and stop making this guy your life. you were fine without him for a year, you care about your new boyfriend and now the second bf#1 is off with someone else you turn to mush. can't you see the dynamic here? you both want what you cannot have. that is getting in the way of a true assessment of your relationship--and until you get your emotions under control, anything you do or say or think is going to be untrustworthy.
cygny Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 just write him the letter, and include the fact that you know it was a mistake to lie about your dating others. but please, if you write this letter, do it when you feel stronger and get your pride back. if you write him while you are this desperate, it will show through and will push him away even further. get your feelings under control first--then write a very very short note--no 4 page letters please guys absolutely hate that--and be very matter of fact and mature in it. no weeping, no begging, no asking, just the facts, you care, wish him well...
LN8840K Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Instead of writing a letter....... why not just be honest with yourself, nobody is perfect and you both made mistakes, learn from the mistakes and try not to make them again ...... you know what you did wrong and if there was only one person in the relationship that would be enough, however it takes 2 people to create and destroy a relationship and if he does not want to admit and correct what he did wrong, you're pissing in the wind. if you're not looking at the same goal, then you're not really on the same team and it becomes a power struggle and you're better off finding someone looking for what you are, and you will Don't feel bad, learn from it and move on
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