Don’t know why it so hard to get over the break up

[PandaPanda]

It’s been at least 2 months now since the break up. I thought I was doing fine, but then once a while the feeling of missing him or the memories of our good times together appear. I tried to divert the thoughts to something else, but it still make me feel quite sad.

My friends encouraged me to go back on the dating app, but I find myself not feeling it or I would start talking to a guy and just don’t feel the same connection as I did with my ex. Then it remind me of how attentive and caring my ex was, and it makes me miss him. Which then made me feel I might never be able to find someone like him again. Maybe I’ll be alone forever and it scared me and make me feel very sad as well.

I know maybe I am just feeling lonely. I also know my ex is not the right person for me so even if I miss, I know I should never reach out to him again. I just don’t know how to get myself out of the negative and lonely thoughts.  

[flitzanu]

that bar is pretty low, once you feel ready to date it should be pretty easy to find someone way better than the ex that told you he wasn't into you and didn't actually want to date you.

focus on people that actually want to spend time with you.

[ExpatInItaly]

On 1/27/2026 at 1:28 PM, PandaPanda said:

Then it remind me of how attentive and caring my ex was, and it makes me miss him

Is this not the same man who told you after the second date that there was no attraction, and then strung you along for months? 

I would urge you to seek counselling at this point, as it sounds like you aren't willing or able to see the reality of the situation for what it was. As a consequence, you are getting trapped in your delusion of how "caring" and "attentive" this man was. 

[PandaPanda]

I know he told me the attraction wasn’t strong enough and he did string me alone. But it doesn’t change the fact that he was attentive during the time we were dating. 
 

It’s not that I don’t accept reality of what he said and did and how things ended. It just the nicer part during dating that I miss. I don’t think about him every day or every minute, just here and there. It just the thought of dating again and not finding anyone that will connect with me scared me.