Just found out my boyfriend cheated with a guy

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I just found out he cheated with a guy a year ago. I feel so betrayed because he slept with someone else. He also didn’t mention it. I hate it because now I just look like a stupid woman. I thought we would be together forever because the relationship has been amazing. I listened to a phone call with his therapist because I heard him getting emotional in the other room so I listened to what he told them and I overheard him say he slept with a guy around year ago and how he’s been holding onto that guilt. I know that’s wrong but I wanted to know what was going on. I can’t believe he doesn’t even care about me and I care about him more than anything. This makes me feel physically sick. I’m not sure how to confront him. I can’t believe he doesn’t love me after all we’ve been through. I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. What should I do? 

[introverted1]

Did you know that your bf was bisexual? 

Regardless, cheating is cheating.  You're not married or otherwise tethered to this person. Either he isn't sure of his sexuality and is exploring while in the safety of a relationship with you, or he is inherently un-monogamous.  Either way, I'd recommend moving on. 

[Lotsgoingon]

This has nothing to do with whether he loves you. And it has nothing to do with how to talk to him. People who love their partners cheat all the time. Otherwise, cheating would be no big deal. Your framing of this matter is off. 

You need to confront him and steel yourself. Basically you need to dump him. So worrying about how to confront him makes no sense. You need to run. I'm worried that you aren't serious about leaving. Forget humiliation. You can't totally know people ahead of time. Get your ego out of this. Huge numbers of people deal with betraying partners. 

But first confirm your version of reality. You need to talk to him to be sure you heard right. That you listened to him and his therapist is a level 1 sin. His cheating is level 10. Don't get lost in foolish side issues. 

Another good step: start telling all your close friends. You need to come out of shame and embarrassment. You did nothing wrong. 

 

[Sanch62]

'Confront' is a strong word, so decide your goal. If it's to alienate him and leave or kick him out, then your manner of delivery doesn't really matter.

If you want to open a discussion, then telling him you heard his confession to his therapist is the honest way to start. The guy took this session in a home where you were allowed to be, so it makes no sense to walk on eggshells about that.

[FredEire]

Cheating is not always about love or a lack of it, so its the wrong question to ask.

Just IMO but cheating is a one strike, you're out. It can't be fixed or worked out, if I found out my partner was cheating the only thing I'd be working out is the right way to tell them we're finished.

[MarriageRealist]

On 1/22/2026 at 11:02 PM, Anonymous said:

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I just found out he cheated with a guy a year ago. I feel so betrayed because he slept with someone else. He also didn’t mention it. I hate it because now I just look like a stupid woman. I thought we would be together forever because the relationship has been amazing. I listened to a phone call with his therapist because I heard him getting emotional in the other room so I listened to what he told them and I overheard him say he slept with a guy around year ago and how he’s been holding onto that guilt. I know that’s wrong but I wanted to know what was going on. I can’t believe he doesn’t even care about me and I care about him more than anything. This makes me feel physically sick. I’m not sure how to confront him. I can’t believe he doesn’t love me after all we’ve been through. I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. What should I do? 

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through something incredibly similar, and I know that gut-wrenching feeling you’re describing - like someone kicked you in the stomach. It’s completely valid to feel betrayed, hurt, and confused right now.
First, please know: you are not stupid. He made a choice to hide this from you, and that’s on him, not you. The fact that you trusted him doesn’t make you foolish - it makes you someone who was capable of loving fully.
As for confronting him - you deserve honesty and answers. You have every right to tell him what you know and how you feel. Whether you heard it through his therapy session or not, the truth is the truth, and you deserve to process this openly with him.
Here’s what helped me: I had to remember that someone else’s betrayal doesn’t define my worth. It took time, but I eventually realized that picking myself back up wasn’t about them - it was about me choosing myself. You deserve someone who chooses you too, consistently and honestly.
Take the time you need to feel everything you’re feeling. And when you’re ready, trust that you have the strength to move forward, whatever that looks like for you. You’re going to get through this

[stillafool]

I would dump him and go get tested.  He will do it again.