Would you ever consider marrying a woman who have a weakness around sexual attraction to casual men?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone!
I'm a woman in her 30's and I would like to ask a question.

A friend of mine, she has always defined as a "weak".
What does weak mean?
It has always been very easy for her, going to new places and discovering "attractive guys".

By this I mean that if she and my other female friends went on a trip, then her  would remember the "cute entertainer" or if we went to the restaurant, there would be the "handsome waiter to kiss", or if we went to school, she would have "the handsome boy who she hoped would kiss her" or if we went to the nursery to bring our children, she would find "the very handsome super fit man" to comment to our female friends. 

Also, we know that she cheated on her partner, was forgiven, and in 10 years she got married with him, had kids, and yet she continues to have these hints and periods about those men she encounter in her life.

On a psychological level, she's not like all the other girls who can find handsome guys and comment on them to herself, but she does it way too often, too openly, and it seems like she fixates on that guy until she finds one again.
Or rather, we know that she is not cheating on her current boyfriend, but obviously we are not there to follow her in her life, but she has this behavior.
She also reads a lot of romance novels but it seems like once she reads one, she becomes obsessed and reads the whole series at once, sometimes for 6 or 7 hours straight, or for days on end. She also told us how she uses some scenes and replicate those with her partner in the bed.
We also noticed that when we were getting married, she really pushed for bachelor parties with muscular, gym-trained male strippers or something "sexy."
We didn't do any of that, but we did something to be together.
 

If you ever had a wife or girlfriend like that, would it be normal? We could call her a "keeper", she have amazing qualities, but this costant sexual thing on men is bothering us..
Also, is this part of some hypersexuality disorder or something to do with "daddy issues" due to intermittent attention and validation from her father?
What we know is that her father and mother are two very hardworkers who go out of the house at 9am till 9pm. She's been raised by her grandmother/father mainly, and we can say her father was always there to have her needs satysfied.

We would really like to know how this type of psychology works, and if we could do something to help her

[MsJayne]

Maybe she's secretly gay and dribbles on about men in a sexual way to hide it. Or maybe she's just a bit obsessed and creepy about guys. 

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, Anonymous said:

If you ever had a wife or girlfriend like that, would it be normal?

Well, I wouldn’t accept cheating, of course.

Occasional remarks about some guy’s sexiness would be okay.

Except that “handsome waiter to kiss” strikes me as somewhat shallow. “A genius man in my profession whom I admire and would totally sleep with if I were single” is more like my partner’s style, for example.

To me, it sounds like your friend is using superficial sexualized language to hide more serious issues. Maybe she feels guilty or unloved or sexually unsatisfied or something like that.

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Anonymous said:

We would really like to know how this type of psychology works, and if we could do something to help her

Has she asked for your help? 

I dare say that most of this isn't any of your business. 

[ShyViolet]

6 hours ago, Anonymous said:

We would really like to know how this type of psychology works, and if we could do something to help her

Has she asked for "help" from you for this supposed "problem"?  If not, then it sounds like you need to mind your business and stop trying to psycho-analyze your friend.  If her flirtatious nature bothers you so much then maybe pull back from the friendship.  It's not your place to change your friends or judge their behavior.

Edited January 21 by ShyViolet

[Sanch62]

Attempts to diagnose your friend are misplaced. If you find her that annoying, spend less time with her, and focus on finding more secure people with whom to surround yourself.

Secure people tend to gossip less and inspire others more through their own productivity, talents, and exploration of creative things. Finding fault with others doesn't tend to be on their radar.

[Els]

I glanced through your post and thought that you were the controlling boyfriend, BEFORE I read the comments and found out that you are apparently her friend. Just... what???

This is not your problem. You're not her psychologist. If it bothers you that much, stop being friends with her. That's all you can do.

Judging someone for reading romance novels is a new low, though, so I suspect that she's not going to miss your friendship much. 

Edited January 21 by Els

[Alpacalia]

If her husband is comfortable, and she’s not harming anyone, then it’s not automatically a problem inside their marriage. 

Otherwise, she just seems like a woman with a very active imagination and a strong libido, which isn’t unusual, it’s just more visible in her than in most people.

If that led her to cheat…that’s on her. Having strong desires isn’t the issue then, choosing to cross a boundary again would be.

Making those comments when you're married is disrespectful to the relationship if it crosses the line from harmless noticing into something that shows blatant disregard for her husband.

You also mentioned it's her husband in one sentence and her boyfriend in another, which is it?

Edited January 22 by Alpacalia