What do you think about my current dating situation?

[asdf100]

I first matched with this girl online in late November 2025 and we’ve been dating about once every week. We enjoy kissing deeply every date, and she introduced me to her mom in fifth date. I don’t want to mess up this relationship for pushing marriage too early, so how should I progress this relationship?

[Gebidozo]

Obviously, pushing for marriage after seeing each other grand total of 5 times is pure insanity.

The question is, why would you even think of something as crazy as that? Simply considering marriage at this stage is way too early.

If you ask me, a good way to progress this relationship would be to abandon any thoughts of marriage, keep dating, go beyond kissing, perhaps meet each other more often than once a week, get to know each other.

Personally, I’d be incredibly stressed out if a woman I only went on 5 dates with and haven’t even had sex with introduced me to her relatives. That would actually be a red flag to me. I hope you really feel fine with that.

Edited January 21 by Gebidozo

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, asdf100 said:

. I don’t want to mess up this relationship for pushing marriage too early, so how should I progress this relationship?

Are you from a culture where marriage is generally discussed this early on? I'm wondering why this is part of your thought process so soon

[asdf100]

6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Are you from a culture where marriage is generally discussed this early on? I'm wondering why this is part of your thought process so soon

It’s because we’re pretty religious and I know someone who decided to get married within first three dates and then got married after three months. 

[ShyViolet]

6 hours ago, asdf100 said:

It’s because we’re pretty religious and I know someone who decided to get married within first three dates and then got married after three months. 

Well that's just insane.  It's not normal to rush into marriage like that when you barely know someone, so this example isn't something to compare your situation to.

You have been casually dating this woman for two months.  You barely know her.  You should not be thinking about marriage at this point.  Circle back to the idea if you are still dating her after a year.

[Herkamer63]

-First off, the consensus everyone is saying here, for a lack of a better way to put it, is you just met this girl. It's way too early to say she's the one.

-Secondly, I'm assuming it's a friend or a family member you're describing when you say 'someone you know' because that's what it typically turns out to be. I got friends who got married within 2 weeks of meeting each other and have been married for several years with kids, but that is an extremely rare occasion under a very certain set of circumstances. Doesn't mean this will apply to you, regardless of what faith you follow. Typically, what happens is when you rush, things don't go the way you want them to. So don't think that you're in competition with whoever this person is that you know. If you like this woman, great. but if you haven't been in a serious relationship before, SLOW IT DOWN. Take your time. If she wants to introduce you to the rest of the family and even some close friends of hers, that's a good sign, but let her do it. Don't insert yourself.

-Next, just because you kiss, doesn't necessarily mean she loves you. I understand you may have got to know a bit about her, but you don't KNOW her. She may say she believes the same way you do, but does she practice it? What are some of her other stances on certain topics? Has she had flings with other men in the past? Has she do things for you or are you doing the majority of the heavy lifting in the relationship, such as maybe buy you a drink or done something for one of your family members/friends or whatever? There's other questions and these are simply samples, but these are meant to not only be asked but also answered. I, as a guy myself, normally would make critiques about women because I had been on the receiving end of being left with a broken heart (and it's not fun nor recommended), but out of fairness, many men just see and think "PRETTY GIRL" and go for it without thinking about who they're dealing with, especially nowadays. That was my mistake. I thought I knew the women in my past, but I really didn't because I thought I knew all I needed to know and it came back and bit me on the behind. I was so invested in thinking with each girl I met that, whoever it was, the possibility of her being the one was very strong rather than thinking of what the reality of it was. Yes, wouldn't it be nice to have that unicorn of a woman? However, when you snap back into reality, you find out things and she turns out not who she says she is. Even if she is a good person, she will have flaws, physically or some minor quirks to her personality. The question then becomes is she worth it? Sure she may be pretty, which is good stuff, but what lies in her heart and mind? She met one criteria, which is physical attractiveness, but now you need to figure out who she really is underneath.

-The other thing to consider is if you're wanting to start a family. Most guys I know do. However, there are women out there, despite many of them saying they want a family, have different thoughts. Many do want to get married and with children because they want to continue on a family legacy, so they're still around and MAYBE this woman in your post wants one as well (fingers crossed for you). Some, on the other hand, want the family for clout to their friends and everyone around them, others to collect money. Then we have those who want the relationship but no kids. The point being made here is if any of this conflicts with what you're looking for in your future, it's probably not worth pursuing the woman. If you want children, you need to make sure that she wants them too. Otherwise, you may be wasting your time.

-Lastly, does she respect you? Is she loyal to you? Does she even like you? From what you're saying (without any details to go off of) she does. Again, good signs that you're going out with her once a week, you kissed, you met her mother, but that doesn't really mean that much. Everyone who's been in a relationship of any kind has at one point gone through much of this, if not all of it. Was it you that wanted to get married asap or was it her? Maybe not the best way to put it, but it goes back to all the other points made. It seems awfully early to be talking about marriage, especially when you two barely know each other. I've seen this happen to my oldest brother who got engaged in a month of meeting his ex-wife he hardly knew and his marriage only lasting 6 months because she cheated on him, emasculating him, and gaslighting him (haven't got in details on how she treated our family). She had children from another marriage she always pressed on him, with him paying for everything, and it was beginning to effect him psychologically. After his divorce, he, at one point, while screwing around with an old friend of his, considered getting back with her but ultimately didn't and hadn't spoke to our family for nearly a month. This all happened because this woman never really loved him. Instead, she found a living ATM and a glorified babysitter for her kids (who she never had custody of). Having arguments are one thing because they can be resolved, but to out right disrespect and even gaslight another person out of spite is another deal altogether. It's a sign she may not even want anything to do with you, only your resources.

Now, I'm not trying to discourage you in any way, shape, or form. This woman in your story might be a great person, and I really hope that's the case. And I understand thinking about marriage with a woman that you may actually care about. It's not as if it's uncommon or anything because a ton of guys think this, my past self included. However, we need to consider the consequences before acting. I'm not recommending going all Spanish Inquisition or anything. That's ridiculous and would never question every single insignificant thing. However, these are questions and answers that need to be sought out. Don't assume a fair day in paradise. Be on your guard, and if you find out that she isn't for you, at least you know and you can move on. Don't base it strictly base it off of surface area material. Best people to consult are your parents and/or grandparents. Aunts and uncles, maybe even some older siblings. I'm just a dude posting my thoughts, but based off of my experience, don't ever think that things will always go your way, so don't rush anything.

My last tip is this: if you haven't already, go to the gym, lose any fatty weight you have, improve your appearance/hygiene, improve your income, get involved with a highly physically active sport like hobby (running, bicycling, swimming, etc, golf and anything that involves standing around doesn't count), get more involved with your current hobbies (even if it is golfing or not so physically demanding activities), spend more time with family and friends, make new friends, and get out into the world and interact with others you may not know or places you've never been to. Some of it sounds silly, but not only does it help, it also gets you much more involved with life. Keep yourself busy. Women, even if it is or not this woman, like a guy that's very involved with his goals and what he's building or what he had already built. If this woman from your story likes you already, great, but she may like you more when you go out and do things that improve your life. If she doesn't but you have achieved so much, that's her lost, not yours. And if that happens, who knows, there may be another woman that'll come along and actually like and respect you for you, not her chasing after resources. If this helped in anyway, I'm glad. Feel free to ask questions. I'm here if you need anything!