What happened ?

[NewfieEd]

I was talking to a girl on Instagram. We lined up a date to go for a drink, we had the first drink, she suggested a second. We talked, laughed, had lots of fun. When we left she said now you have to give me a hug. While she walked away she said “I’ll send you my number”. She went online after it and liked some of my posts and reached out. The next day I just reached out and said well that was fun, maybe we should do it again. She didn’t respond after. She still views everything I post on Instagram but hasn’t reached out. My first thought is a lack of interest. Maybe I’m wrong. But hey it was a first date so can’t expect much from that. 

Edited January 16 by NewfieEd

[Sanch62]

Either she's not into seeing you again, or she's waiting for you to ask her out on a date with a place and time rather than a vague 'sometime' and leaving that up to her to ask you for?

You've got zero to lose by asking, and it will give you your answer either way.

[Gebidozo]

On 1/16/2026 at 9:51 PM, NewfieEd said:

The next day I just reached out and said well that was fun, maybe we should do it again. She didn’t respond after.

There is an episode on the TV show “Friends” where one of the characters explains that if you say that exact phrase (“well, that was fun, maybe we should do it again”) it means that you aren’t interested enough. People who are interested actively set up a date. 

If you are interested in that girl, text her again and suggest meeting for coffee or dinner or drinks on a specific day. If she can’t that day, ask when she is free and adjust accordingly. But do set up a date, don’t be vague.

[Herkamer63]

There's a couple of problems:

-You went to Instagram to go on a date. I'll be straight with you, one of the main reasons why a lot of people go onto Instagram is to try and attract certain individuals, in particular the extremely physically attractive people, to go out with them. They may go out with normal people from time to time just for a meal, and they may exchange numbers, but they see it as friends going out, not actual dates. So the hug meant nothing to this person you talked about, other than to keep you giving attention to her. Happens often to other people. I had women who I've gone out with give me their number then just fall off the face of the earth, until they pop up out of no where on my feeds and she's screwing around with other men. Consider this the first indicator she wasn't interested in you.

-Problem number two, her not responding to your texts. It's another sign she's not interested or never was. Women I liked and had interest in, we started out texting each other often, but over time, when other guys pop up that started doing the same thing, the number texts from those women and their responses to me went down. It got to the point where they say nothing until I shot them messages but only get a few word response. So if you're getting fewer messages from a woman you like, it's another sign that she wasn't interested (and goes along with the first post).

-The next issue, and this is speculation so please add some context to it, is the date. Now, there's nothing wrong with going on dates, and if it was fun, great. But given the last two issues posted, the questions must be asked (and you don't need to be specific with exact locations because I may not be familiar with those places): where did you for the date (out to dinner)? How was she acting? Did she only laugh when you laughed? Did she even say that you two should go out again? The only reason I'm asking is I've seen guys take their dates out to expensive restaurants and bars, dropping hundreds of dollars, telling all the jokes, keeping conversations going, telling their dates very private information, and all while their dates don't do much. They may say a couple things here and there, but, ultimately, these dates don't try to initiate anything. So if you were carrying everything with her only responding whenever you laughed or whatever the case is, when you initiated, it might be a sign that she was there only to get dinner and that was all.

To be fair, this can all be speculation as far as this situation is concerned. I wasn't at the date, so you know better than I do. However, the patterns are very similar, and in some cases the same. I've experienced it myself. Yeah, it's nice to see the person you're interested in like your posts, but it's not a sign that they want you. Many times, they're just trying to be friendly and like you as a human being. That's it. If they truly see you as a romantic interest, they will text you often, will ask if you're available on certain days, and don't care where you take them. It can be something as simple as a walk in the park or a coffee. To me, again based on my experience, it sounds like this woman may not have been interested in you. I would like to think you did everything right for the date, so don't think I'm criticizing you for doing what you needed to for the date. And I'm glad to hear you had fun because you should enjoy yourself. Truth be told, though, she may not have been interested in you before the date took place. That does tend to happen from time to time. Personally, I think this person was just looking for a free meal at a really nice restaurant (or wherever you went, could be drinks), possibly taking photos for her Instagram to get likes from others, and used you as a means to get her around (and to make you another one of her followers). I hope I'm wrong, but it sounds too familiar to say it's this person just being busy. I hear this excuse and doesn't pass the smell test most of the time. If she liked you, there would have been a barrage of messages in your dm by now. Since there isn't, well, it'd be better to cut whatever losses there is now.

I'd say stay off of Instagram and dating sites/apps to find someone. Go to some fun social events with some friends. Get involved with a gym that has classes or a group that does a sport like activity (something you like already or would want to check out). For example, I've been doing ballroom dancing for few years now (since close to the beginning of the 2020s). I've been competing and showcasing for nearly 4 years, been at my current studio since August 2022, which is ran by 2 professional dancers. I've travelled with them, met a lot of people inside and outside the studio, did things together that were not dance related, and the studio before I made a lot of friends with. I even managed to go out on a couple dates with women I liked. Nothing came of them, but it expanded my horizon and I can probably be in a relationship with someone if I wanted to. I'm choosing not to because I got other things I'm straightening out with financials and family matters, but the point is if dating was a top priority, I have more access. I want to be sure if I want to get married someday that I marry the right woman and not someone I have no desire to be with, but at least if I wanted to go date occasionally just to go have some fun (not that I would advise this), I can do it. The point is if you want someone you know who's real, it's better to meet them when you're participating in an event and having fun. Social media's there to show what you've been up to, but it can be very deceiving because it doesn't answer as many questions as what you would hope for. So, anyway, that's all I got at the moment.