Feel ghosted by new Tinder date

[juzme]

She begged and pleaded with me to stay at my place. I told her we are not compatible. And told me she was all packed up to come over. I told her  I don't think we will work out. She was crying. Maybe acting. And she then called and left me a message calling me a " sleaze". Lol

Yeah it was a creepy experience at her place. And her room mate looks just like the Instagram photo with her. Luckily I had it to compare. 

I feel so much better. 

Edited January 18 by juzme
Correct a word

[ShyViolet]

34 minutes ago, juzme said:

She begged and pleaded with me to stay at my place. I told her we are not compatible. And told me she was all packed up to come over. I told her  I don't think we will work out. She was crying. Maybe acting.

She sounds like an absolute psycho.  You never should have met up with her in the first place.  Hopefully she won't start stalking you.

[juzme]

6 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

She sounds like an absolute psycho.  You never should have met up with her in the first place.  Hopefully she won't start stalking you.

 

She can't even drive. And her roommates don't drive either. That's probably why her hubby lives next to the attached house. And she lives all alone on the other end with her dog and bird. 

 

You're right.  I learned a life lesson. And I felt more bold after this experience. So I'll run the next time 

 

Plus I visited a church today where a couple of ladies smiled at me.  And that gave me hope their is still possibly someone out there for me. I'm in no rush 

[juzme]

She's afraid to drive. And was hit by a driver as a teen. So yes sounds like lots of trauma. Oh and what's funny is she said her " week has been a Trainwreck". I sure have learned a life lesson though. 

[ExpatInItaly]

Does she know where you live? 

[Sony12]

@juzmedefinitrly sounds like she is one of those women who tries to reel men in by highly exaggerating how much she actually likes them. Usually because they want the guy to help them get out of the life situation they are in. It takes years for people to become that obsessed with someone to where they would act the way she did after the first date. 

Even women who think a guy is gorgeous and highly enjoy having sex with him don't act that way. They just throw themselves sexually at them but they don't try to love bomb them. 

And yes how much personal info about yourself did you give her. How much does she actually know about you?

[juzme]

8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Does she know where you live? 

 

 

No. She doesn't know my area well. 

[juzme]

14 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

@juzmedefinitrly sounds like she is one of those women who tries to reel men in by highly exaggerating how much she actually likes them. Usually because they want the guy to help them get out of the life situation they are in. It takes years for people to become that obsessed with someone to where they would act the way she did after the first date. 

Even women who think a guy is gorgeous and highly enjoy having sex with him don't act that way. They just throw themselves sexually at them but they don't try to love bomb them. 

And yes how much personal info about yourself did you give her. How much does she actually know about you?

 

 

Well she only asked what my last name was during our time together at her place.  I didn't spell it out either, thankfully.

Where we just laid on her bed and we're clothed and  only kissed and touched. She also told me her name and her married name. 

 

 

 

[juzme]

On 1/16/2026 at 8:04 PM, MsJayne said:

Both glad and surprised. 

What really alerted me  from seeing her again. Was seeing a hot young women running out from the attached room of her house where her roommates live. That hot lady was running to a nice car parked in the street in front of the house. And I seen the lady in the house after the crazy lady had me meet her roommates.  It is either a drug house or sexcapades going on there. Two guy roommates and her alone on the other end of the house. It's a creepy look for a house. Garage is has trash all over. Her kitchen is all dishes everywhere. She keeps food in her room so her roommates won't take it. And she claims her dog is a retired police dog. 

[juzme]

Just now, juzme said:

What really alerted me  from seeing her again. Was seeing a hot young women running out from the attached room of her house where her roommates live. That hot lady was running to a nice car parked in the street in front of the house. And I seen the lady in the house after the crazy lady had me meet her roommates.  It is either a drug house or sexcapades going on there. Two guy roommates and her alone on the other end of the house. It's a creepy look for a house. Garage is has trash all over. Her kitchen is all dishes everywhere. She keeps food in her room so her roommates won't take it. And she claims her dog is a retired police dog. 

That same women my date said was homeless and a friend of her roommates. From how that homeless girl was dressed it seems she looked like a prostitute or maybe a drug or smoking buddy. Maybe it's a open relationship thing they have at this creepy house. 

[Sony12]

Wouldn't at all be surprised if these are all drug addicts. How nice was the neighborhood that they lived in?

[FredEire]

8 minutes ago, juzme said:

What really alerted me  from seeing her again. Was seeing a hot young women running out from the attached room of her house where her roommates live. That hot lady was running to a nice car parked in the street in front of the house. And I seen the lady in the house after the crazy lady had me meet her roommates.  It is either a drug house or sexcapades going on there. Two guy roommates and her alone on the other end of the house. It's a creepy look for a house. Garage is has trash all over. Her kitchen is all dishes everywhere. She keeps food in her room so her roommates won't take it. And she claims her dog is a retired police dog. 

It sounds to me like she is quite possibly a "lady of the night" to some extent, and this so called ex might be running the show. Possibly that young woman you saw was part of it. And yes extremely probable that theres drugs involved.

You were very lucky not to get hurt. If you had said her ex walked in with a gun demanding payment it wouldn't have surprised me at all.

[Sony12]

11 minutes ago, FredEire said:

It sounds to me like she is quite possibly a "lady of the night" to some extent, and this so called ex might be running the show. Possibly that young woman you saw was part of it. And yes extremely probable that theres drugs involved.

You were very lucky not to get hurt. If you had said her ex walked in with a gun demanding payment it wouldn't have surprised me at all.

Her being a hooker is possible. And while hookers do operate on dating apps they are generally very upfront about what they are doing. They would usually say having sex will cost so much money before they even meet them. They wouldn't fool around with them and then demand payment afterwards. It's possible I guess she was a hooker but was looking for a regular relationship from him. Who knows.

In anycase whatever her situation was she was obviously still trying to hoodwrink him.

Edited January 18 by Sony12

[juzme]

1 minute ago, FredEire said:

It sounds to me like she is quite possibly a "lady of the night" to some extent, and this so called ex might be running the show. Possibly that young woman you saw was part of it. And yes extremely probable that theres drugs involved.

You were very lucky not to get hurt. If you had said her ex walked in with a gun demanding payment it wouldn't have surprised me at all.

That may be why I noticed a cop car stop and taking notes when I was getting gas the next day. Yes like the other forums comments it sounded  like a soon nightmare scenario. 

And the so called room mate said he was only a friend of the family.

And with all her bags ( like 5)  she wanted to bring over , I was thinking of all those cop shows where drugs were hidden in the bags. 

 

It's sad people have to live a life of crime to scam or harm people like me just wanting to date 

And I'm guessing the donuts and latte for $20 was my way of tipping her for her time. And she just figured I'd buy it. 

[FredEire]

Just now, Sony12 said:

Her being a hooker is possible. And while hookers do operate on dating apps they are generally very upfront about what they are doing. They would usually say having sex will cost so much money before they even meet them. They wouldn't fool around with them and then demand payment afterwards. It's possible I guess she was a hooker but was looking for a regular relationship from him. Who knows.

In anycase whatever her situation was she was obviously still trying to hoodwink him.

Yeah. The whole setup doesn't sound very safe or welcoming whatever was going on. Where stuff like drug abuse exists quite often so does prostitution and crime etc. So overall I think it was a bit naive of OP to go there in the first place.

[FredEire]

1 minute ago, juzme said:

That may be why I noticed a cop car stop and taking notes when I was getting gas the next day. Yes like the other forums comments it sounded  like a soon nightmare scenario. 

And the so called room mate said he was only a friend of the family.

And with all her bags ( like 5)  she wanted to bring over , I was thinking of all those cop shows where drugs were hidden in the bags. 

 

It's sad people have to live a life of crime to scam or harm people like me just wanting to date 

And I'm guessing the donuts and latte for $20 was my way of tipping her for her time. And she just figured I'd buy it. 

When people start getting shifty and telling stories that dont make sense, start asking you weird questions, the place is messy and chaotic etc etc its all big red flags that youre in a dangerous situation.

There was enough when you met her to suggest it wasnt a good idea to go anywhere near her place.

[juzme]

13 minutes ago, FredEire said:

It sounds to me like she is quite possibly a "lady of the night" to some extent, and this so called ex might be running the show. Possibly that young woman you saw was part of it. And yes extremely probable that theres drugs involved.

You were very lucky not to get hurt. If you had said her ex walked in with a gun demanding payment it wouldn't have surprised me at all.

That's probably why she wanted me to stay over. She must really have issues living her life at that house. Still very creepy situation. If I stayed the night. Maybe that's why she has her own room. Maybe she did want something real. Yet it does seem she would want the guy to take care of her. And I told her I want 50/50. 

[Alpacalia]

On 1/15/2026 at 11:03 AM, juzme said:

What's weird is when we first were talking about meeting. They asked for my make and model of my car. 

That's such a bizarre question to ask, and should have been your queue to exit stage left and not get dragged into whatever her situation, agenda, or chaos was about to pull you into.

Because that’s really what was happening. When someone you’ve known for 48 hours is: trauma‑dumping, sexualizing the conversation without invitation, talking about moving in, asking for your car details, describing financial collapse and then suddenly disappearing it's you being positioned as a potential solution to her problems, not a partner.

[FredEire]

47 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

That's such a bizarre question to ask, and should have been your queue to exit stage left and not get dragged into whatever her situation, agenda, or chaos was about to pull you into.

Because that’s really what was happening. When someone you’ve known for 48 hours is: trauma‑dumping, sexualizing the conversation without invitation, talking about moving in, asking for your car details, describing financial collapse and then suddenly disappearing it's you being positioned as a potential solution to her problems, not a partner.

Yeah. I suspect the sexy comments were what dragged OP in, but it seems like she was over-sexing herself because she probably felt she had nothing else to offer.