Feel ghosted by new Tinder date

January 15

I met her on Tinder. We been calling and texting the past two days since we met on there. She is 49. I am under 50. right away went into her being abused by her ex husband. The husband has the same first name as me she said. She thinks I'm a "stud". And she went into talking about her skills with her tongue to please a guy. I didn't talk sexual with her. I was being a real gentlemen. She talked about her chest size. Of which I never asked. She did have me turned on though. She says she lived in her uncle's house with an older roommate. Another roommate she recently kicked out that was doing drugs and brining people over. She said she and her roommate are not dating or anything. She said her uncle's and Mom's house is going through the banks. As she can't afford to stay there. She is also out of work she said. She was up for meeting me this Thursday. It seems that she has ghosted me this morning. And it's now the afternoon. She said she was going to bed early. And we last talked at 10pm yesterday. She also mentioned she may stay over at my place. She has a nice personality. And she seems flirty and friendly. She seemed to want to move in with me since she thinks the house will foreclose by next year. She seemed to want to meet really bad today. So far she has not responded to texts. I feel she is ghosting me. She said she isn't talking to anyone else. I did delete my profile I told her on Tinder. As I felt too many fake profiles. Am I wasting my time with her?

January 15

you have been speaking for two days.

and everything she's said is all red flags.

she doesn't need to move in with you after two days.

you don't even know this person.

January 15

What's weird is when we first were talking about meeting. They asked for my make and model of my car.

January 15

41 minutes ago, juzme said:

What's weird is when we first were talking about meeting. They asked for my make and model of my car.

Did they also ask for your dog's name and your birth date? When strangers online ask this sort of question they're fishing for passwords.

1 hour ago, juzme said:

Am I wasting my time with her?

Absolutely, being as she sounds completely unhinged and, if her profile is real, she's a leech looking for a host. Just a heads up in case you don't know, Tinder is full of creepy people and scammers, as are sites like Plenty Of Fish, Oasis, Bumble, Match, etc, etc.

January 15

She sounds like a trainwreck. You should have recognized the many red flags with this woman. It would not be a good idea at all to meet her. Run in the other direction when someone is saying so many chaotic, crazy things.

January 15

She never asked for pet names, etc. As I don't have any pets. She did call me this afternoon. And wants me to come pick her up. I thought she would be good. Since it's hard meeting ladies. In person I get smiles and hellos at the store by females. But it's hard for me to approach them.

Edited January 15 by juzme
Edit of word

January 15

1 minute ago, juzme said:

She never asked for pet names, etc. As I don't have any pets. She did call me this afternoon. And wants me to come pick her up. I thought she would be good. Since it's hard meeting ladies. In person I get smiles and hellos at the store by females. But it's hard for me to approach them.

7 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

She sounds like a trainwreck. You should have recognized the many red flags with this woman. It would not be a good idea at all to meet her. Run in the other direction when someone is saying so many chaotic, crazy things.

I'm slow in the dating field. I've been a loner most of my life.

January 15

Even if she wasn't a scammer she's out of work, around people who do drugs, and doesn't have a place of her own. And if she wants you to pick her up she likely doesn't even have a vehicle.

The only appealing thing about this is your fantasy. And I guarantee you your fantasy isn't very accurate to who this person actually is.

January 16

Let’s make a list of classic, textbook dating red flags.

1) Wanting to move in as soon as possible or otherwise greatly rushing the dating process.

2) Badmouthing exes.

3) Displaying disproportionate amounts interest in materialistic aspects.

4) Volunteering sexual information during an early date.

The woman you’ve described checks all these alarming boxes.

Why are you worried about her ghosting you? Delete her and move on.

January 16

I did end up meeting her. We went back to her place. Only kissing. Maybe I went too far this time. I thought she was being real. Yet she did say some weird stuff like she has a trucker buddy that visits her. And that she doesn't always look at me when she talked to me. She got really emotional during my visit and said she loved me and wants to be with me. I thought it was love. It definitely seems like she didn't care if I paid for half donuts and a warm latte for $20. It's weird, [ ] She said her uncle doesn't know the other people and roommate ate there. They were smoking stinky cigarettes while I was there. I think she did catch herself saying she is meeting her friend this weekend. But instead called her a " he" and said I mean "her".

She got all emotional and told me she had something to tell me. And she was afraid. She told me she had anxiety issues. And I told her lots of people have that.

When she acted like she was crying and wanted me to stay the night with her. I went to wipe her tears but there was no tears. She seems to act like a 20 year old. We did kiss a lot. What's weird is her roommate has the same first name of her ex. Weird.

Edited January 21 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
off topic

January 16

20 minutes ago, juzme said:

She got really emotional during my visit and said she loved me

5) Love bombing

21 minutes ago, juzme said:

When she acted like she was crying and wanted me to stay the night with her. I went to wipe her tears but there was no tears. She seems to act like a 20 year old.

6) Immature, emotionally unstable behavior

How many more red flags are you planning to collect here?

22 minutes ago, juzme said:

I thought it was love.

I hope you aren’t serious.

This sounds like something a 14 year old boy would say.

I thought you said you both were almost 50? The whole thing feels like a high school romance.

January 16

With all due respect, have you dated much before?

I am wondering why this hot mess of a woman is appealing to you in any way. She is showing you nothing but serious red flags.

January 16

10 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

5) Love bombing

6) Immature, emotionally unstable behavior

How many more red flags are you planning to collect here?

I hope you aren’t serious.

This sounds like something a 14 year old boy would say.

I thought you said you both were almost 50? The whole thing feels like a high school romance.

It did seem like a high school type scenario. Yeah she's almost 50 and I'm under 50.

January 16

7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

With all due respect, have you dated much before?

I am wondering why this hot mess of a woman is appealing to you in any way. She is showing you nothing but serious red flags.

Not much dating experience here. Although in my 30s I dated on and off. Mostly one night stands. I guess because she was the only one I could meet up with in person. I probably won't see her again.

January 16

Just now, juzme said:

Not much dating experience here. Although in my 30s I dated on and off. Mostly one night stands. I guess because she was the only one I could meet up with in person. I probably won't see her again.

Yes, I wondered if you didn't have much to compare her to. Most men would have run for the hills already so I figured there was a reason you hadn't.

She is a trainwreck and it is not going to become a healthy relationship. My guess is that she senses your inexperience and will try to exploit that to her full advantage. There is nothing but headaches ahead if you choose to see this invididual again.

January 16

She's clearly looking to love bomb a guy and probably hoping that he will begin helping her out financially and potentially even letting her move in with him.

Look I enjoy these first date go over to her place scenario's too. But I make sure they have a job, a place of their own, their own means of transportation, and they don't have roommates.

This lady doesn't appear to have any of those things.

January 16

9 hours ago, juzme said:

I did end up meeting her.

Why would you meet her when she was a mess of red flags? And not run in the other direction when she displayed even more red flags and crazy behavior during your meetup? This is really, really poor judgment on your part. Nothing but trouble is going to come of this if you let this continue.

January 16

She must be one of those ladies guys would pick up at a bar. Except this one is a homebody.

As for meeting her again. I doubt it.

1. Her living situation is odd to me

2. She wants to stay in touch with her trucker friend" on Tinder. And claims she doesn't talk to other people on there but him as " friends " only

3. She told me last night she didn't want me to leave. That she would hide my jacket and car keys. She did try to talk me into staying the night. ( By the end of the "date" she finally talked normal and said " I know you want to go".

4. I feel she isn't telling me everything.

She said she dated a guy over a month ago and she seen other guys on the side. While he was at work, college.

Wearing sunglasses at night is another strange thing. I am wondering if she is on illegal drugs. She says she doesn't do pot,etc.

I agree she's out there, lol.

I'm guessing the guy she stays with at the attached room is her " ex " As she had to ask his permission if it was okay for me to visit. Yet said it was her uncle's place. As I usually run into fake profiles and just end up deleting the date App.

Edited January 16 by juzme

January 16

2 minutes ago, juzme said:

As for meeting her again. I doubt it.

With all these extreme red flags, it shouldn't be "I doubt it", it should be "there is no way I'd have anything to do with this crazy woman ever again." You really need to develop better judgment. Or you're going to end up getting yourself in some bad situations.

January 16

11 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Why would you meet her when she was a mess of red flags? And not run in the other direction when she displayed even more red flags and crazy behavior during your meetup? This is really, really poor judgment on your part. Nothing but trouble is going to come of this if you let this continue.

I agree. I guess, I was curious about her. Being a novice in the dating thing. I assume when she was saying you're in " for a wild ride" talking about sex. She also means her life. And I did get the clues to what she's all about. I'm done with her. I'm better off single. Hopefully I can find a good lady to meet and date one day

January 16

6 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

With all these extreme red flags, it shouldn't be "I doubt it", it should be "there is no way I'd have anything to do with this crazy woman ever again." You really need to develop better judgment. Or you're going to end up getting yourself in some bad situations.

Agree.

January 16

i'm glad you didn't get murdered.

January 16

3 hours ago, juzme said:

I'm done with her. I'm better off single. Hopefully I can find a good lady to meet and date one day

I am sure you can, you first need to set better standards for yourself. This woman was showing you red flags before you even met, which in the future should be your cue not to proceed.

January 16

I grew up religious. So most talk about spiritual stuff is normal to me. But after her telling me she feels her TV turns on and off by itself an has a ghost in her room, lol. She did spook me out about her obsessions with ghosts. When I lived in the South. Few I met were not as much of a character as this. Maybe I was more mesmerized by her at first.

January 17

7 hours ago, flitzanu said:

i'm glad you didn't get murdered.

Both glad and surprised.

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