Question about lying Fiancé and past

[TakeMeToTheMoon]

Hello I do not have anyone I can really talk to. 

Part of a back story. My fiancé has a really bad past. He slept around a lot and made a lot of mistakes. He has come clean about it pretty much. 

We got together in March 2024. Then a bunch of lies had come out in January 2025 and half the year. Lie on top of lie on top of lie. I guess I should say the truth came out about a bunch of his lies. And most of them were about his past. But the past had caught up to him and was now in our relationship. So I feel like he shouldn't have lied. Anyway then the last of the year there was lies here and there rarely though about stuff in our relationship. 

So he has changed a lot. And December 2025 and this month he has been trying really hard to make our relationship work and has been remorseful and tried really hard. 

He used to try to break up with me all the time. When we got in fights or he got caught but he hasnt until last night. 

Well randomly I found a screenshot of something I had asked him March 2025. And I was sure he had lied about it then. And he is being honest now so I decided to ask him. It is about his past but it does involve me and our relationship.  

Well before me he had slept with his best friends wife. He also slept with his best friends mom. Like I said he slept around a lot. He after awhile finally got rid of all his past and deleted and quit talking to anyone he had slept with in the past. But anyway. He had always told me that she was demon possessed when they had sex. I believed him. Well yesterday I asked him at 4 different times. Was she demon possessed or was it just like a fling or one night stand. I told him I wouldnt get upset if he told the truth. Because that's his past. But he still lied. And lied. And lied and lied. Then he said he would promise on the Bible. Which I'm really not sure if it is right or not but we are trying to live as Godly as we can and its sad and wrong but that's the way I know he is truly being honest and telling the truth. It rarely happens. I have been trusting him. But anyway when he told the story holding the Bible he came clean and told me they had sex before she was demon possessed.  That it was in her and her husband's (his best friend's bed). And she was demon possessed in his bed. (He lived with them at the time.) They had sex in their bed. But in his bed she had been hitting him and bit him then passed out on him. After he had told the truth on the bible I told him he lied to me and he tried to say he was getting his stories mixed up and me repeating his words was messing him up. But I asked one simple question to clear it up. And that was did they have sex in her bed or his. And he said theirs. And demon possessed in his. So I got really upset and said I am done. Lately when I say I don't know how to fix us he has been so reassuring and tries so hard to fix us and say we can get through it and finds a way. Etc etc etc. Its really sweet and he really fights for me and our relationship. But last night he said he was done too. That his heart cant take anymore. And actually called his mom and said he was over it all and done and wanted to come stay the night. But he didn't.  And later last night he told me he was going to tell the truth because he promised at work yesterday he was going to tell the truth. But I knew he was lying because he told me 4 times a lie yesterday and told him that and he didnt say anything realizing I was right. 

So I'm really upset that he lied. We are supposed to be getting married May 2, 2026. It would have been so much better if he just told me the truth. 

But the situation gets more difficult.  He is still best friends with the guys wife. And we hang out with them every now and then. It's been a couple months. But we usually hang out at least once or twice a month. Sometimes more. His wife (the one my fiance slept with) is so rude to me and makes extremely rude remarks about me to my face and indirectly.  Once she said I looked like I belonged on a stripper pole to my face in front of him. Another time she said she was going to teach her boys to be respectful and date respectful women not sluts who wear leggings. ( I wear leggings and was wearing them) . She also flirts with fiance. She tells all these stories about him and her like fun times they had in the past. Jokes about stuff like HE KNOWS she is afraid of frogs. Flirts with him and more nice to him than she is her own husband *which I just really realized*. She is so judgemental of me. Criticizes my parenting ( I have 2 kids from a previous relationship). She used to bring up all the time things about his and her past that I didnt know. Like a necklace he gave her that she still has (idk if it's anything special.  Its a guitar pick necklace and I guess he made them and sold them he told me. I believe him. But he also made me one) it was supposed to be special we had matching ones and I had showed her and she had run to the bedroom to get hers out saying her made one for her too. She told me he had sent her naked pictures before. And I had to ask him. Told me a few other small things that I didn't know and had to ask him.  Just made me feel so stupid and like a fool. She acts sometimes like its a competition  between things he has done for her and things he has done for me. And a competition between him and her husband. Like I told her something about my fiances guitar and she had to run and her her husband's guitar case and show me she colored on it and decorated it. She also once had my fiancé call her without me. We were leaving walking to the car and she whispered in his ear to call me when I wasnt around.  But he didnt. We went to a store parking lot and he called her on speaker and I listened as she talked crap about my parenting and cried I supposedly abuse my kids. (She borderline abuses hers). She did find out because me and him tell eachother everything and she was soo mad and made a smart remark when we were over about telling eachother everything.  And cried because she doesn't have any friends and he is her best friend. Also her and her husband do not have any communication.  

She never told me they slept together though. 

I am really hurt because my fiancé is still best friends with her husband and even after how bad she has treated me and had me in tears, caused fights between me and him (mostly from bringing up the past). He expects us to get along. He wants me to be friends with her. And even though I knew they slept together (well I thought it was while she was demon possessed and practically raped him i didnt know the full truth that they agreed) and even though he had sent her naked pictures that i had to find out from her. And everything else I mentioned.  I have tried so so so hard to be friends with her  for him. So that we can go over there and he can hang out with her husband while I hangout with her. She is so toxic to me though and I have told him that. But I still try to be friends with her since that's his best friends wife. I even invited her to wedding dress shop with me and him. (He didnt see the final dress just different dresses because I wanted to get an idea of what he liked). She didnt go but that's because I backed out of her going. I thought she might make rude comments and I wasn't comfortable with her and him sitting alone together while I picked out dresses and tried them on. 

But anyway I really feel like a fool. I tried so hard to be friends with her and in the meantime her, her husband and my fiance all knew they slept together. It was in the past before me. But I dont know. 

Also my finance and her husband have the same name,  both play guitar and sing, have the same hair style, color, facial hair, body type, height. And look so much like eachother. They could pass for brother's. We went to their church once and their pastor asked if they were brothers. 

And I'm not sure if this matters but she is petty over stupid stuff and does stuff to get attention. Like my son got hurt at their church event and was bleeding and once she seen that before we even got bandaids she passed out. Which was completely fake. Also we were over for a cookout and she needed to go to the store up the road and I didnt want to go but my fiancé and her husband said it would be a good idea time for girl time bonding time.  So I reluctantly agreed and said I was driving. Because I have anxiety and ptsd from abusive relationships and dont like riding in cars with someone unless I really really trust them. And she threw a fit I wanted to drive and started walking down the road to the store and her husband had to go chase her down and talk to her everything would be okay. A lot of times she throws a fit about my ideas (like me driving us to the store or going out to applebees because she didnt want to when we went before or a karaoke event I found because my fiancé and her husband were looking for one ) and she throws a fit and her husband had to talk to her like a baby and give her a bunch of attention and so many comforting words that are unnecessary.  

But besides that last fact of them looking like brothers or the last paragraph. Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go and continue to hang out with her and him with her husband. And a lot of times we all hang out together and my kids with her kids. (We both have two boys). And we have cookouts together too. But she still is rude and mean to me. And he did get rid of everyone in his past he has slept with. Which took awhile but he finally did. And I was so proud of him. But  Except her. So I really dont know what to do. We both got rid of our pasts. Blocked people, threw away stuff. Started completely new. He got baptized October 2025 I believe to start fresh and to start new. We are trying to live the best Godly life possible. And we are going to get baptized the day before we get married also. 

I dont know what else to say. I am sorry this is long. I just really need advice. We really almost broke up last night. I even slept on the couch and when we fight I still sleep in the bed. He told me sorry and that he loves me and goodnight nicely before bed last night. Tried to get me to come to bed. Even brought me a pillow. Says he knows we can fix this. That God will get us through this. But I dont know. Im torn. 

Please give me your advice. 

Thank you 

[ExpatInItaly]

15 hours ago, TakeMeToTheMoon said:

Am I overreacting?

You are under-reacting. This man should have been out of your life ages ago. 

15 hours ago, TakeMeToTheMoon said:

He got baptized October 2025 I believe to start fresh and to start new. We are trying to live the best Godly life possible.

Girl. It is all an act on his part. This man is the furthest thing from Godly, and he's showed you that again and again. 

15 hours ago, TakeMeToTheMoon said:

He told me sorry and that he loves me and goodnight nicely before bed last night. Tried to get me to come to bed. Even brought me a pillow. Says he knows we can fix this. That God will get us through this.

You need to stop falling for his BS, to be very blunt. These are meaningless words and gesures from him. 

15 hours ago, TakeMeToTheMoon said:

Please give me your advice. 

Don't marry him. It will be the biggest mistake of your life. And I would urge you to get some counselling for yourself. It sounds like you have no concept of what a healthy relationship should look like, and that you don't value yourself very much. If you did, you wouldn't tolerate such nonsense and you would have kicked him to the curb a while ago. You are worth more and deserve better, but it doesn't seem that you get how dysfunctional and toxic this all is.