Is she over me? (lesbian relationship)

[ExpatInItaly]

12 hours ago, mella89 said:

I asked her yesterday and she said no, when i asked are you ending with me?

Yes, I know. You have repeated this several times in this thread. 

Just because she avoids telling you what is going on with her does not mean she isn't stringing you along. I am sure you realize this. So what if she says she is sick? It doesn't change the bottom line here, other than you looking for reasons to not walk away yourself. 

6 hours ago, mella89 said:

She did not call me today, its sad after 4 years to not even  end it in a normal way

It's sad, but it's what happens sometimes. I think it's time you decide for yourself that this isn't a viable prospect anymore. In 4 years, you have apparenly only met 4 times. That is not really a relationship, though I understamd you are very attached to her. It was never going to be enough to sustain a true and lasting connection, and if after 4 years you two couldn't manage to find a way to make things more concrete, it's time for you both to move on. 

[mella89]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes, I know. You have repeated this several times in this thread. 

Just because she avoids telling you what is going on with her does not mean she isn't stringing you along. I am sure you realize this. So what if she says she is sick? It doesn't change the bottom line here, other than you looking for reasons to not walk away yourself. 

It's sad, but it's what happens sometimes. I think it's time you decide for yourself that this isn't a viable prospect anymore. In 4 years, you have apparenly only met 4 times. That is not really a relationship, though I understamd you are very attached to her. It was never going to be enough to sustain a true and lasting connection, and if after 4 years you two couldn't manage to find a way to make things more concrete, it's time for you both to move on. 

I know you are right. I just know the person and its hard to believe it is the end when they do not say it openly.In our four years there have been no contact ,and saying things like "I do not want to plan anything anymore" etc etc.

This time the difference is we are not angry or at least i am not.

 

I know ,in my head i try to convince my self this is over

[ExpatInItaly]

On 1/9/2026 at 8:06 AM, mella89 said:

.In our four years there have been no contact ,and saying things like "I do not want to plan anything anymore" etc etc.

This is another indicator that this wasn't a very healthy connection, though. 

Sure, people get angry sometimes and say things they don't mean. But when you add this pattern to the fact that you two were mostly a secret and didn't see each other much..well, it never amounted to the stuff relationships with a good survival rate are made of. 

You will need time to get used to the idea that this person is not your future, but I think you will be better off for it in the long run.