Ex-gf there in moment of need

[Grant25]

I've posted recently about some life changed events in my life around family and it was during that time that my ex was the only one that came to be by my side.

I then moved interstate to get away from it all and she followed me down just so I didn't have to be alone over Christmas and we've been sharing a place since. It's only been a few weeks.

Honestly she has been wonderful, maybe even life saving. She hasn't asked for anything in return.

I always felt like we were meant for each other and I'm feeling it again now but I'm just struggling with looking past how we split.

A lot of friends at the time said it shouldn't be a deal breaker, it was just a same sex kiss, but it was for me and so I ended it.

I still think I was right then but ever since she has always been apologetic and accepted she was at fault and now she's shown me again why I fell in love with her.

So what happened was that she kissed another woman at a bachelorette party but it went pretty far, it was like a full-on session not just a kiss. I found out because others there took videos and they were sent to me. If that wasn't bad enough she kept in touch with this person and was trying to organize a threesome with her joining us, she had sent her my picture etc. My ex showed me those messages after she was outed.  Once she was caught she has been honest with me, I've never found an instance of drip feeding info.

We've both not seen anyone else since the split about 7 months ago.

I've always been a no second chance person but I feel having that hard rule may be depriving me of the only person that actually seems to care about me.

So should I? I don't think this is just me clinging to something because I need it, I think she's truly sorry and has earned her place back in my heart.

And just another thought, this would be devastating if I told her I wanted her back she said no.  I think I've just scared myself.

[ExpatInItaly]

9 hours ago, Grant25 said:

I feel having that hard rule may be depriving me of the only person that actually seems to care about me.

Well, to be fair, this wasn't very caring of her: 

9 hours ago, Grant25 said:

it was like a full-on session not just a kiss. I found out because others there took videos and they were sent to me. If that wasn't bad enough she kept in touch with this person and was trying to organize a threesome with her joining us, she had sent her my picture etc.

This was a pretty serious violation of your trust and she was not forthcoming, from the sounds of it. I don't get the sense that this all came out because she felt telling you was the right thing to do. It appears instead that she was caught, if I understand correctly. This would also reflect very poorly on her. Let's say she is remorseful, though. My bigger concern is that she was looking to get a need or desire fulfilled that you cannot possibly offer her (being with another woman, I mean)  This is unlikely to go away so you would need to understand that there is apparently another layer to her sexuality that can't be fulfilled only by you. 

Could you live with that, knowing she wants something that you can't provide?