Is this the start of something?

[Stepstep]

We’re both in our 40’s, both married 10 years plus (to other people)  with young kids. I (F) started this job 5 months ago and since day one there was a crazy attraction. We find reasons to have meetings go over or to deal with “urgent” situations by phone on the weekends but nothing has been said or done.

A month ago I received a job offer and told him i was considering it as it had the potential to become something bigger.i subsequently turned it down but he was emotional at the thought of me leaving. A week later he asked me if i wanted to travel in January to the home office in europe for a week to meet the leadership there - i said yes assuming there would be several of us going but its just the two of us. Same flighta same hotels etc - 2 cities , 5 days. 

The tension is there - is this the start of something or am i crazy? Its been a long time since i felt like this - never cheated before either. 
 

[BaileyB]

Do yourself a favour and start the New Year with the decision NOT to cheat on your spouse. Put that decision into action by ensuring that you don’t place yourself in a position where you are at risk… 

Or, roll the dice and watch your life and the life of your children implode. 

Entirely your decision. All the best in the New Year. 

Edited 21 hours ago by BaileyB

[BaileyB]

7 hours ago, Stepstep said:

A month ago I received a job offer and told him i was considering it as it had the potential to become something bigger.

It’s unfortunate that you didn’t take the job offer, because your job (that you’ve only had for five months) is at risk of you are flirting/start an affair with your coworker. A new job will have put some distance between you and this man which would have also had the benefit of protecting your income/job security. 

[Sanch62]

2 hours ago, BaileyB said:

A new job will have put some distance between you and this man which would have also had the benefit of protecting your income/job security. 

...and protecting your family.

You get to choose your own lens. Family-focused people don't 'see' the potential to cheat, they simply close all doors on any potential to cheat, and that's not a big deal for them. Just part of living a trust-worthy life.

It's all on you. Choose wisely.

[Stepstep]

1 hour ago, Sanch62 said:

...and protecting your family.

You get to choose your own lens. Family-focused people don't 'see' the potential to cheat, they simply close all doors on any potential to cheat, and that's not a big deal for them. Just part of living a trust-worthy life.

It's all on you. Choose wisely.

Ive been married for 13 years and have never until now even contemplated anything. Im caught off guard and unsure if im reading the situation incorrectly 

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, Stepstep said:

Ive been married for 13 years and have never until now even contemplated anything. Im caught off guard and unsure if I’m reading the situation incorrectly 

You seem to have a confirmation bias…

As Sanch said, someone who is not looking to cheat would not be trying to read between the lines as much as you are trying to read between the lines… They would just shut this down and walk away. The fact that you haven’t done that says a lot…

[Stepstep]

20 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

You seem to have a confirmation bias…

As Sanch said, someone who is not looking to cheat would not be trying to read between the lines as much as you are trying to read between the lines… They would just shut this down and walk away. The fact that you haven’t done that says a lot…

Isnt this what this forum is for?! 

[Sanch62]

9 hours ago, Stepstep said:

Isnt this what this forum is for?! 

We can't do this for you. If you want to wreck your life for some woo-woo, and you won't consider your family and all of your other options in the world to use your own conscience and reasoning abilities to shut this down, then what are we supposed to say that can help you?

[ExpatInItaly]

16 hours ago, Stepstep said:

Ive been married for 13 years and have never until now even contemplated anything. Im caught off guard and unsure if im reading the situation incorrectly 

Reflecting on your thead title, do you want it to be the start of something?