Is it me?

[UserID1234]

My girlfriend won't really take pictures with me anymore nor will she send me pictures of herself. She's sometimes anxious and  camera shy but she has no problem taking selfies when she's bored. I'm sure she doesn't send pictures to anybody else but then again, she doesn't really want me going through her phone. Meanwhile, I have nothing to hide and let her go through my phone anytime she wants. 

 

She says she is ready to move in with me but she keeps changing her plan to do so. Her reasoning is that she wants to wait until she finds a job in NY before she leaves Jersey to move in with me. Noble; I have no problem with that. She hasn't had much luck finding a job yet though; so changes her mind and wanted to wait until Christmas to get her Christmas bonus. Then changed to wanting to put her 2 weeks notice in January so she gets paid for her days off for the holiday. Now, she doesn't want to even leave at all until she finds a job ahead of time. We've been together almost 2 years at this point. 

 

For Christmas, she woke up, wanted breakfast, wanted her gifts, wanted to look up things that she wants to do for our upcoming trip in the summer, and then she left. No gifts for me. She said she ordered them late and they're in the mail. Which is fine, I could care less about gifts. All I wanted for Christmas was her and this time, I couldn't even have that. On top of that, she joked and said I can unwrap her for Christmas and when I went to do so, she said no thank you. Felt like a major tease.

 

Which also reminded me of my birthday. She had work until 6 pm. I killed time in Jersey for several hours while waiting for her to get off work. There wound up being massive traffic and she was stuck in a traffic jam. By 8 pm, she said she was tired and didn't want to meet up and said I should just go home. I understood she was frustrated and said I had no problem waiting and I was fine just ordering a pizza and relaxing at her place for a bit but I wanted to see her for my birthday. She still wasn't having it and insisted that I go home.  

I think she's just not big on holiday celebrations. It's just another day to her. Which is fine; I'm fairly similar in that way. But her birthday and the holiday for her is definitely more important to her. She does like receiving gifts.  So then shouldn't it be reciprocated?

Is it me? Am I overthinking things too much? I feel like this relationship has gotten pretty one sided; I put in so much effort to make her happy. I know she loves me and she appreciates me but lately, I feel like it's not enough. 

 

I admit, I'm the more emotional one in the relationship and she's never going to reciprocate the feelings like I do. My bed feels empty when she's not here. She doesn't seem to feel that way and I've grown to accept it even though I don't want to. She has said she misses me too and feels the same way but she doesn't seem to have a hard time skipping weekends together so I'm not sure how much I believe it. A few weeks ago, I wanted to meet with a few friends for a card game (which we do maybe once a year) on a Friday night so instead of her coming Saturday morning, she decided to skip seeing me the whole weekend. 

 

I try to be as understanding and supportive as I can because I am not the type of man to be controlling or forceful ... But I don't think I should be feeling empty either. We've been together almost 2 years. Am I rushing things or am I taking too long to do something about it?

[ShyViolet]

It sounds like she is very checked out of the relationship, has lost interest in you in a major way, and just doesn't know how to be honest with you about that.  So she keeps going through the motions of the relationship even though she is very clearly pulling away.  You shouldn't let this drag out.  If you are the only one putting in effort then you shouldn't continue this.