Cheated on with AI

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone. First of all Merry Christmas!

 

I've been struggling with the breakup with my ex and could really do with some advice, support, anything really.

 

So quick backstory.

 

Me (23F) and my ex boyfriend (22M) met at work. We started of as best friends, coincidentally living on the same road and spending all our time together. He liked me the whole time but I convinced myself I didn't feel the same. After a year, I finally allowed myself to fall in love and accepted to be with him romantically. I had previously been through some of the worse abuse in my life by an ex partner so I really struggled to take the leap of a relationship and trust again. We lived together for over a year, went on holiday multiple times, spent every second together. Of course, we had our issues but he was the love of my life and before what happened between us happened,I chose my dream engagement ring and we had discussed the next steps for us. Again, to get into the mindset of marrying someone was a huge deal for me, and took years. We was 'officially' together for about 21 months before he ruined everything. Yes, I know it isn't a long time in the scheme of things, however I was so sure on marrying that man.

 

So one day, he gave me his Apple TV login to watch a show, and little did I know it logged me into his icloud. As I went to download a new game, I noticed it was his App store account and me being me which is super nosey, I decided to have a look at his apps. I was never looking to find something,catch him out or anything, I am just a nosey person. As I'm looking, I see 3 AI girlfriend apps, all titled something along the lines of 'hot realistic gf, sexy chat, create your own etc'. It was basically a dating app but instead of real women, it was AI women. I confronted him about this and he completely denied it, claiming his account was hacked. He swore on our whole relationship, on his grandparents grave who recently passed, on God that he wasn't lying. He was a very religious man so part of me believed him. The lying went on for about an hour. After more digging, I found another app of the same nature, which then he confessed. He said he lied due to being scared, and he downloaded them to 'help his sex drive' as he had struggled to even get hard with me for months before nevermind be in the mood. Anyway, after a week of him sleeping on the sofa, I had finally decided to forgive. We also had a holiday booked in the next few weeks and honestly I mostly forgave him for that.

 

Whilst on holiday, he had a phone call. Basically, he rang his bank because he had been charged £50 for a weeks subscription for one of the apps he had even though he cancelled it. Long story short, I found out it was a real dating app, not AI like he claimed. I saw one text he sent to a girl who asked for fun and he replied yes. He still claimed he thought it was an AI app. Eventually, again after lying, he admitted he had also used other dating apps, mostly AI but some not. We broke up, I moved out, which meant I had to leave my job, live back with my parents, start a new job etc.

 

After a few weeks, I kept on texting him as friends. I would go on a night out, stop at his and chill on multiple occasions. He was always super respectful and we just spent time together. At that point he had started therapy for his actions and i watched him show real remorse. However, I realised there's absolutely no point anymore. I can't get back with him after what he's done so I ended things for good. Since then, it's been no contact. He's not fought for me, messaged me, nothing.

 

It's absolutely destroyed me. I can't physically do it without him, I don't want to. I can't cope. It's the worst torture I have been through in my life. We was so good together, is this incident enough to end us forever?

 

I don't exactly know what I'm hoping for from this post. But mostly it needed to be shared.