Are girls who love cooking a super rare breed these days?

[longtry]

I just can't seem to find decent girls with a passion for cooking. Even in my developing nation, fast food and especially delivery service have deeply penetrated the society, so everywhere around me girls just focus on their looks and vacations, not homemaking.

I tried the usual suspects: cooking groups on social media, and offline classes. Problems are, nowadays online groups are just a place for businesses to ad, while in-person classes are not only few & far between, but also generally for those who can't do it (yet), not passionate cooks. Popular dating apps in my country don't have the feature to filter based on this, and I highly doubt those apps anyway because of their conflict of interest.

What should I do? I just want to be a jovial guinea pig, testing all the dishes she wants to try. I don't know if this is the right place to post, kindly advise me on that too. Btw, can this thread also be a shameless plug for my availability? In that case, I'm happy to provide more details about myself. Thanks!

[Gaeta]

Are you a good experimental cook yourself?

[Els]

2 hours ago, longtry said:

What should I do? I just want to be a jovial guinea pig, testing all the dishes she wants to try.

I mean, this is a weird reason to search for a partner? If you like tasting new dishes, why don't you experiment with cooking new dishes yourself?

But in all seriousness, if you live in a developing country then I think the number of people who love cooking in the younger generation is likely to be quite low. I don't know exactly which country you live in, but most of them are stuck in the worst spot to be in -- where capitalism and industrialization have caught on full-steam, and some social changes have made their way through, but labor laws and worker protections are still lacking. So young women are often in a difficult situation -- unlike their grandmothers, they are expected to work full-time because a household can't survive on one income anymore, and they're likely to work long hours due to the work culture so they don't have a ton of free time, but gender roles and expectations still haven't fully modernized. I don't envy them, for sure.

If it really matters so much to you that your partner is a great cook, two possible ways you can achieve this are being a great cook yourself and dating fellow foodies, or just earning an extremely high income and advertising for a "tradwife" I suppose.

Edited Sunday at 04:37 PM by Els

[Lotsgoingon]

Why not cook yourself? The days of assuming a woman should cook and like to cook are quickly disappearing. In fact, I am not sure "women" in general ever really liked cooking (which was often part of their job in the family) anymore than dad "liked" going to work! 

Start cooking and experimenting yourself! 

Edited Sunday at 05:17 PM by Lotsgoingon

[Els]

59 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Why not cook yourself? The days of assuming a woman should cook and like to cook are quickly disappearing. In fact, I am not sure "women" in general ever really liked cooking (which was often part of their job in the family) anymore than dad "liked" going to work! 

This. I mean, there are people who genuinely love cooking, but they aren't any more likely to be of one gender than the other, and also they are greatly outnumbered by the people who like being cooked for...

Which is why I chuckled when I read the OP's last paragraph about the "shameless plug", lol. Like, dude, besides the fact that LS isn't really a place for that sort of thing... you've told us literally nothing about yourself except the fact that you like being cooked for! Guess what -- most of us enjoy having others cook for us, it's why restaurants charge YOU instead of the other way around...  

As a woman I really, really like the fact that my husband enjoys cooking, so I kinda understand the appeal? But it would be messed up to seek out a partner specifically for that reason. I just got lucky.

[ShyViolet]

Are you looking for a woman to cook for you, like some kind of 1950's housewife?  If you're so interested in cooking, then get into cooking yourself.  I think this is a weird "requirement" of a partner.

[longtry]

11 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Are you a good experimental cook yourself?

I'm not (though I think I might make a good one, as I invented a new recipe. Just that I feel it won't ever be my passion). I believe in the complementary nature of relationships when it comes to some aspects, like food.

9 hours ago, Els said:

most of them are stuck in the worst spot to be in -- where capitalism and industrialization have caught on full-steam, and some social changes have made their way through, but labor laws and worker protections are still lacking. So young women are often in a difficult situation -- unlike their grandmothers, they are expected to work full-time because a household can't survive on one income anymore, and they're likely to work long hours due to the work culture so they don't have a ton of free time, but gender roles and expectations still haven't fully modernized.

Spot on. I read about the transition of a 1-income family to the everyone-works model a few weeks ago. Capitalism has been horrible.

 

9 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

The days of assuming a woman should cook and like to cook are quickly disappearing

That's not what I assume. In fact, my OP's very title suggests that most women don't like to cook. That's why I look for those who love it. My assumption is that, if a girl fancies cooking, she'll love having someone who appreciates her art.

52 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

I think this is a weird "requirement" of a partner.

I believe I've seen weirder stuff, like "I only date tattooed people", or girls looking for blue-eyed men exclusively. Besides, a passion for cooking isn't my only criterion, but it acts as a nice filter. From that alone, I can deduce with high confidence that she's not into unhealthy junk food, and that she's probably of the 'tradwife' type that Els mentioned. 

8 hours ago, Els said:

you've told us literally nothing about yourself except the fact that you like being cooked for!

OK, here's something about me. I'm a straight male, in my 30s, tall & rather lean, reticent & good-looking (I think ), don't smoke nor drink, read nightly, exercise in tiny bursts throughout the day, try to meditate daily, and fast 1 day a week. As an aspired member of the FIRE movement, I'm not a fan of materialism, but I do spend on things like an onsen/sauna package when I sniff out a nice bargain. I turn on phone's wifi/data only once or twice a day and don't have apps like ig or tiktok, yet my favorite game is VR Beat Saber. I've been commented as manly, but I grow a somewhat long hair and like songs performed by girls way more than boy music. I want to live in other places in world, where the scenery is more captivating and the tech more advanced; yet I judge my country's cuisine as the best, and our forefathers' old values to be the standards in choosing partner. I don't really pay attention to others' opinions (about me), but my biggest dream is to do something to carve my name into history. I believe in science, and while I'm not sure I'm a 1st-principle thinker, I'm certainly willing to question any & all things, including social norms. My biggest flaw is probably porn addiction - in fact, I found LS while re-watching Gary Wilson's classic YBOP video. I have a high success rate when I pursue a girl, yet with this peculiar profile you've just read, I feel it hard to find soul mates in this modern society, much less a female partner.
Is that enough? I could go on and share about my values, emotional regulation & communication style, personality, etc. - those dating matters, but it seems I've overdone it quite a bit

Edited yesterday at 02:32 AM by longtry

[Els]

11 hours ago, longtry said:

yet I judge my country's cuisine as the best, and our forefathers' old values to be the standards in choosing partner.

Ahh. I wonder what your forefathers with their old values would think about the early retirement and the porn?  

You seem to want a blend of modern and traditional values, which isn't wrong in and of itself. The problem, however, lies with selecting only the "modern" stuff that benefits you, while also selecting the "traditional" stuff that benefits you. 

I don't think a genuinely traditional woman would be into a man who wants to retire early and who watches porn. Traditional cultures, especially in developing countries, tend to associate "masculinity" with being a hard worker, ongoing employment, and providing for the family. From what I observed when I grew up in Asia, even very, very rich men are expected to work all their lives, although the work might be easy (e.g. being the figurehead of the family business). Being unemployed, even by choice, even if you have enough saved up, is often viewed negatively.

So, you're left with the women who aren't traditional but who love cooking. Yeah, they do exist, but as you've noticed it's quite rare (for both men and women). I don't know, are you a good cleaner? I guess modern people who love cooking would be happiest with a partner who's willing to do the cleanup afterwards. Take out the trash, clean the kitchen, keep the pantry stocked with groceries, etc. Experimental dishes, in particular, tend to require quite a lot of cleanup!

"Having someone who appreciates her art" isn't considered bringing something to the table, I'm afraid. You'd be hard pressed to find a person who doesn't enjoy being cooked for.

[longtry]

Both retirement (early or standard 60-65yo) and porn didn't exist at the times of forefathers, so I guess they wouldn't judge harshly. When introduced to something unprecedented, people almost inevitably succumb to it, like the way Chinese to opium, or native Americans to Spanish diseases. I bet our forefathers wouldn't do much better than us.

I'm not proud of my addiction and am working on it. As Wilson argued on YBOP, it's harder than other kinds (food, drugs, alcohol...). Ironically, 1 of the best ways is to find a partner for a healthy rehabilitation, or perhaps a soul mate: whenever an urge comes, I can reliably reach out for a cuddling session or at least a deep intellectual convo.

Regarding FIRE, for me retirement doesn't mean lazing around, but actually working toward that goal of carving my name in history. I have a few ideas for that, and they have the added benefit of potentially bringing mentioned "extremely high income" that enables advertising for tradwives.

Thus, for a woman to accept a man with those 2 traits, I suppose she should have faith in me that I'll overcome porn with her help, and a high OCEAN openness to update her outdated view on employment (but does that make her non-traditional?). In any case, I'm happy to take out the trash and cleanup - probably with a dishwasher. However, keeping the pantry stocked is a cook's responsibility: only she knows what's needed and what not.

It seems the biggest obstacle is how exactly to find these rare unicorn girls with me being not quite active on social media or whatever modern tools they favor nowadays. And if she shares such a preference, chances are she wouldn't be online much, either.

[basil67]

On 12/22/2025 at 1:00 AM, longtry said:

I just can't seem to find decent girls with a passion for cooking. Even in my developing nation, fast food and especially delivery service have deeply penetrated the society, so everywhere around me girls just focus on their looks and vacations, not homemaking.

I think you're hankering for a time which never was.   Where did you get the idea that women used to be passionate cooks?   

I'm Australian (of British heritage) and our food was so incredibly dull.   It improved a bit by the 1990's, but absolutely nothing for my mother and grandmothers generations to find passion for.

 

Edited 7 hours ago by basil67

[Acacia98]

There are women who are passionate about cooking, but I'm guessing they enjoy cooking when they enjoy cooking (at their leisure, on their terms). They might enjoy it less if it becomes something that is expected/demanded of them. When a passion becomes a chore, it becomes harder to derive enjoyment from it, especially if the other person does not reciprocate in some fashion.

I enjoy cooking. But I wouldn't use the word "passion" to describe my enjoyment of it. And I certainly wouldn't want to be the only person within a relationship who cooked. If I'm happy in a relationship and I feel like we have mutual love, respect, and understanding and help/support each other, then the desire to do something nice for my guy becomes stronger, and that something nice might be cooking him a delicious meal when I have the opportunity. And it would be lovely if, on the next day, when I had some work deadline stressing me, he'd take over the kitchen responsibilities and prepare something nice for us both.

That's not quite what you're looking for, is it?

Also, I'm not excited about junk food and don't out often, but I'd really appreciate it if my guy would take me out for dinner or something occasionally. The whole "she cooks delicious food, so we'll just stay at home and watch a movie while she cooks" thing would not work for me. I'm guessing you would want to stay home all nights and eat your girlfriend's masterpieces, but has it occurred to you that spending a whole afternoon/evening slaving over a pot might not be her idea of date night?

Edited 4 hours ago by Acacia98

[Gebidozo]

My partner is a non-traditional woman who has a successful career but also happens to be a fantastic cook.

She cooks for me occasionally, which I regard as a present, equivalent to myself taking her out to a high-quality restaurant.

She does enjoy cooking, but not to the point of actually wanting to do it multiple times per week. The whole idea is that it is a special occasion and not a chore.

I don’t think it is impossible to find a partner who would do this for you, but your expectations must be realistic.

 

 

 

[longtry]

4 hours ago, basil67 said:

I think you're hankering for a time which never was.   Where did you get the idea that women used to be passionate cooks?

I admit that I do have an opinion that more women used to love it than now. However, I don't yearn a return to the past, I'm looking for an effective way to find them.

1 hour ago, Acacia98 said:

If I'm happy in a relationship and I feel like we have mutual love, respect, and understanding and help/support each other, then the desire to do something nice for my guy becomes stronger, and that something nice might be cooking him a delicious meal when I have the opportunity. And it would be lovely if, on the next day, when I had some work deadline stressing me, he'd take over the kitchen responsibilities and prepare something nice for us both.

That's not quite what you're looking for, is it?

This is a scenario that I'm afraid of: during unhappy moments in a relationship, we might quarrel, and in the heat of it she might say "I cook for you but you [insert negative clause]". Once this seed has been planted, it'd grow into irreparable resentment issue some day. That's why, if possible, I prefer girls who love cooking over those who just enjoy it. When you're passionate about something, you do it for its own sake & your own happiness, not for anyone else. She won't cook 'for me' a single time.

On the other hand, your impression of me is misplaced. While I'm indeed lazy, I can take over the responsibility when she's stressed by, say, work (though I blame capitalism for it; see Els' 1st post).

42 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

She does enjoy cooking, but not to the point of actually wanting to do it multiple times per week. The whole idea is that it is a special occasion and not a chore.

I don’t think it is impossible to find a partner who would do this for you, but your expectations must be realistic.

Actually, I do have a set of probabilities in my mind. If she loves cooking, I'll drop a majority of my other criteria. If she just "likes" to cook, I'll lower some expectations.