user573 Posted Monday at 06:34 PM Posted Monday at 06:34 PM From the result of a premature birth i have very visible short face syndrome and the bones around my eyes are severly and very very visibly underdeveloped. So as i result i kind of ressemble a mix of shrek and Frankensteins monster but even more creepy looking. Now ill eventually fix this but in young and dont have the money such a procedure as it will cost ish 50k$ so saving up is gonna take a while Now obviously dating normally isnt gonna work and attempts at it hasnjust constantly ended up leading to awkward and invasive moments and unintentional harassment. Now being able to date someone that is asexual seems nore acheivable. But im not knowledgable on the ace community, generally are look completely out of the equation? Obviously there should be differences in between people but just generally. And how could i find these people as i dont think ive ever met someone ace so i assume its in reality a very small fraction of the population. I would also be very open to date someone with similar issues as myself as thats also posssibly more attainable, atleast in my mind. But how do i find similar people as i also dont think ive ever seen someone irl that looks similar to myself. The same thought process of mine has been applied to blind people which seems a lot more common atleast as you see blind people walking around from time to time. But what does being blind acctually entail that most people are unaware of? Since sight is such a big part of perception i assume theres a lot more than what you immediately notice. So if anyone has advise or insight please share it Quote
ExpatInItaly Posted Monday at 07:27 PM Posted Monday at 07:27 PM 51 minutes ago, user573 said: Now obviously dating normally isnt gonna work and attempts at it hasnjust constantly ended up leading to awkward and invasive moments and unintentional harassment. Wait, this needs addressing first and foremost. How did physical differences lead to this? 1 Quote
Author user573 Posted Monday at 08:20 PM Author Posted Monday at 08:20 PM 51 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Wait, this needs addressing first and foremost. How did physical differences lead to this? Well since they wont be attracted to me it always becomes unwanted, so even if i intend to just start a regular convo im gonna look and feel like an absolute creep Quote
smackie9 Posted Monday at 10:38 PM Posted Monday at 10:38 PM I know this is hard but, drop the negative opinion about yourself. Even in the face of rejection, show confidence in yourself and carry yourself in a way that you feel complete and happy no matter what. If you are awkward, walk with a droop and have a scared look in your eyes no one will want to be around you. Got to work on that sparkling personality. Quote
Acacia98 Posted yesterday at 03:27 AM Posted yesterday at 03:27 AM 8 hours ago, user573 said: I would also be very open to date someone with similar issues as myself as thats also posssibly more attainable, atleast in my mind. But how do i find similar people as i also dont think ive ever seen someone irl that looks similar to myself. I'm guessing there are online communities for people with disabilities? If you can find a couple that you're comfortable with and post your queries on them, you might find people who are similar to you or people who can speak from experience about dealing with dating struggles similar to yours. You could also ask your doctor if he knows of support groups for people with your condition. That might open up other doors and lead to your meeting people. I wish you wouldn't refer to yourself as a creep. It is normal (not creepy) to want to love and to be loved. That has nothing to do with whether you are conventionally attractive. Showing interest in someone and asking them out is not creepy as long as you respect them and their boundaries. If people have called you a creep for being human and doing the same as them and everyone else, they are wrong. Please don't internalize their insults or legitimize them. Quote
Els Posted 22 hours ago Posted 22 hours ago 18 hours ago, user573 said: Well since they wont be attracted to me it always becomes unwanted, so even if i intend to just start a regular convo im gonna look and feel like an absolute creep This isn't an appearance thing... it's completely possible for a male model to be creepy and an unattractive man to not be creepy. It's more about understanding social cues and being willing to back down and leave gracefully as soon as you sense that the person isn't interested. Anyway, to answer your question, is the deformity just an aesthetic issue? Are you able to live normally, work, have a social circle, etc? Quote
Author user573 Posted 22 hours ago Author Posted 22 hours ago 4 minutes ago, Els said: This isn't an appearance thing... it's completely possible for a male model to be creepy and an unattractive man to not be creepy. It's more about understanding social cues and being willing to back down and leave gracefully as soon as you sense that the person isn't interested. Anyway, to answer your question, is the deformity just an aesthetic issue? Are you able to live normally, work, have a social circle, etc? Sure everyone can be creepy, i mean for me its just an inevitability Yes basically currently its pretty much just an aestetic issue, i used to have horrible sleep and breating issues but that part lessened with age Quote
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