Was taking on a mortgage worth it to escape a toxic family home?

[marcusantonio]

For those of you who had family members contributing to trauma and were still living with them for financial reasons: was leaving home but taking on a mortgage better or worse for your mental health?

Is the pressure of a 30-year mortgage, and long-term debt, worth it if it lets you live somewhere separate from your family?

I’m curious because moving into a condominium, or choosing the wrong setting, can sometimes re-trigger trauma, either from neighbors, owners, or other local stressors.I’d love to hear your personal experiences and thoughts on balancing financial strain with mental health freedom.

 

[wcutu]

From my American perspective even in the absence of toxic family members I feel it is almost always a good thing o9 buy a house and carry a mortgage as long as you handle the payments.  So much positive personal development happens when you stand on your own two feet.  

[MsJayne]

As long as you can service the mortgage repayments, go for it! There is no better feeling than independence, especially if you come from a dysfunctional family background. You can't put a price on your psychological well-being, and you can never move forward while trapped in a toxic environment. From the moment you take ownership you have an asset which keeps increasing in value, (in normal economic circumstances), and if things go wrong you can always sell it. If you choose to buy in a condo, yes, there might be neighbours who get on your nerves, but you have to remember in communal settings that the world doesn't evolve around you, and you practice a bit of tolerance in return for the peaceful feeling of having your very own drama-free space. 

[ShyViolet]

It's strange that you're framing this as an either-or decision, where the only alternative to living at home with a toxic family is taking on a mortgage.  There's also renting?  If you're not financially ready to take on a mortgage then you don't purchase property yet, you could also rent.  

[Gebidozo]

I have an aversion to mortgages because I’d like to stay mobile and flexible for now, and mortgage ties you to one place.

Also, where I live buying prices are exorbitant, while rent is somewhat tolerable.

I’d definitely suggest moving out and perhaps go for a nice rental if possible.

[Cocopopz]

Why you think this two big risk options are the only ways?

What is your age?

Staying with those who are part of your trauma heal.Or who has same kind of trauma.  won't help you.

Best is to rent something away from them, and while looking for a place try to seek something that is less triggering for you. 

In some cases you can also sign up at a facility where you can stay during your therapy period. But don't know what kinda trauma you have. But look on the internet and see what they got in your area. 

Often there is more options then you think.

And get some therapy. There you can ask also help how to deal with your family. And everything you going true you can talk about.

All the best.