How to initiate conversation with this girl at the gym?

[Musicisbest93]

16 minutes ago, FredEire said:

In answer the OP, the way to initiate small talk is to initiate small talk. Just do it.

I think what you said to her is fine, but its going to be a bit off-putting if you then just walk away and go striaght back to your workout. You could ask a few followup questions like how long shes been coming, where shes from etc. Or you can may a joke like "Damn your biceps are better than mine! How'd you manage that?"

Making people laugh is the best way to win them over, I find. If youre a little bit socially awkward as you mentioned, it can take away the edge and can come off as cute if you're relaxed about it.

Maybe ill try that next time I see her. I did say "enjoy your workout" before I walked away 

[FredEire]

10 minutes ago, Musicisbest93 said:

Maybe ill try that next time I see her. I did say "enjoy your workout" before I walked away 

I would say in general just try and be friendly and chat for a while.

Also you mentioned you're on the spectrum. I would say just lean into the awkwardness and embrace being a little bit quirky. I've met guys on the spectrum who everyone liked because they were just having fun and being themselves and not forcing being "normal".

It's fine if one or two interactions are a little bit awkward. You're learning, that's part of the process.

[Musicisbest93]

38 minutes ago, FredEire said:

I would say in general just try and be friendly and chat for a while.

Also you mentioned you're on the spectrum. I would say just lean into the awkwardness and embrace being a little bit quirky. I've met guys on the spectrum who everyone liked because they were just having fun and being themselves and not forcing being "normal".

It's fine if one or two interactions are a little bit awkward. You're learning, that's part of the process.

Id rather say whatever comes to mind. In fact if she was in a certain corner of the gym id probably say "im usually there but you beat me to it" lol

[FredEire]

12 minutes ago, Musicisbest93 said:

Id rather say whatever comes to mind. In fact if she was in a certain corner of the gym id probably say "im usually there but you beat me to it" lol

Right. The main thing is just to try and increase your social circle (not just talking to women). Don't worry so much about the outcome. It's no use keeping to yourself all the time wondering about what ifs.

[Musicisbest93]

24 minutes ago, FredEire said:

Right. The main thing is just to try and increase your social circle (not just talking to women). Don't worry so much about the outcome. It's no use keeping to yourself all the time wondering about what ifs.

Are you an extrovert or introvert? I should talk to guys too i keep forgetting 

[FredEire]

4 minutes ago, Musicisbest93 said:

Are you an extrovert or introvert? I should talk to guys too i keep forgetting 

Haha I would say I'm more of an extrovert with introvert tendencies.

I wouldn't worry so much about categorising everything by personality types though, we are all just people complex in our own ways. "Introvert/Extrovert" or "INTJ" or whatever labels you want to use doesn't give you much insight in reality.

[Musicisbest93]

1 hour ago, FredEire said:

I would say in general just try and be friendly and chat for a while.

Also you mentioned you're on the spectrum. I would say just lean into the awkwardness and embrace being a little bit quirky. I've met guys on the spectrum who everyone liked because they were just having fun and being themselves and not forcing being "normal".

It's fine if one or two interactions are a little bit awkward. You're learning, that's part of the process.

How can one just lean into the awkwardness and "be themselves"? (which sounds easier said than done) 

[FredEire]

1 hour ago, Musicisbest93 said:

How can one just lean into the awkwardness and "be themselves"? (which sounds easier said than done) 

To just be your quirky self and dont try to follow some script that you think people want. The right people will understand if you are oversharing etc sometimes, and even find it interesting.

Just keep in mind stuff like being respectful etc, but apart from that just be authentic and to hell what anyone thinks!

[Gebidozo]

12 hours ago, Musicisbest93 said:

I hear ya. Maybe I shouldn't have said "I see you around occasionally". I just wanted to get over my fear is all despite my introversion. Even in large gatherings I tend to phase out and feel somewhat dizzy so I gotta keep drinking water lol

Fear and introversion are very different things. Introversion is, in a nutshell, feeling uncomfortable when socializing with many people at once.

What you are describing is shyness, or perhaps anxiety, not introversion.

At any rate, you should first get over your fear, then start talking to her. Fear won’t lead you anywhere. Women are generally not impressed by men who feel scared when talking to them.

[Musicisbest93]

6 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Fear and introversion are very different things. Introversion is, in a nutshell, feeling uncomfortable when socializing with many people at once.

What you are describing is shyness, or perhaps anxiety, not introversion.

At any rate, you should first get over your fear, then start talking to her. Fear won’t lead you anywhere. Women are generally not impressed by men who feel scared when talking to them.

Isnt actress Kristen Stewart an introvert?

[Gebidozo]

7 hours ago, Musicisbest93 said:

How can one just lean into the awkwardness and "be themselves"? (which sounds easier said than done) 

Sincerity and confidence are the key here. If you truly embrace your shyness, it won’t come out as awkwardness, but rather as quirkiness, which can be attractive.

Insecurity leads to fear. Fear leads to insincerity. Insincerity leads to the dark side.

[Musicisbest93]

16 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

Sincerity and confidence are the key here. If you truly embrace your shyness, it won’t come out as awkwardness, but rather as quirkiness, which can be attractive.

Insecurity leads to fear. Fear leads to insincerity. Insincerity leads to the dark side.

I swear, people are hard to navigate. Its like walking on a minefield lol

[flitzanu]

16 hours ago, Musicisbest93 said:

Isnt actress Kristen Stewart an introvert?

are you Kristen Stewart?

[Musicisbest93]

20 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

are you Kristen Stewart?

No. But what baffles me is how shes able to "be herself" despite being all awkward during interviews and stuff. How does that draw people toward her?

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Musicisbest93 said:

No. But what baffles me is how shes able to "be herself" despite being all awkward during interviews and stuff. How does that draw people toward her?

I can't say I've ever seen her interviewed, but interviews aren't regular relaxed conversations.  She's likely very different when she's with friends.

[Musicisbest93]

15 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I can't say I've ever seen her interviewed, but interviews aren't regular relaxed conversations.  She's likely very different when she's with friends.

Here's one: https://youtu.be/NjI7os6suwc?si=2iuf-6zDWFsHuWbY

[Gebidozo]

8 hours ago, Musicisbest93 said:

No. But what baffles me is how shes able to "be herself" despite being all awkward during interviews and stuff. How does that draw people toward her?

First of all, I highly doubt that people are drawn to her thanks to her awkward interviews. It is much more likely that people are drawn to her thanks to her talent. Or, possibly, also because of her looks.

Second, as I was trying to say, a person can be somewhat awkward and charming at the same time, as long as they have confidence and aren’t constantly questioning themselves and everyone around them.

[Musicisbest93]

The problem is trying to time it right when shes not on her headphones or maybe just staring at her phone 

[basil67]

10 hours ago, Musicisbest93 said:

The problem is trying to time it right when shes not on her headphones or maybe just staring at her phone 

If she was interested in more, she'd take her headphones off and have a quick chat with you

[ExpatInItaly]

12 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If she was interested in more, she'd take her headphones off and have a quick chat with you

I was about to say the same thing. 

This appears to be a woman who wants to be left alone at the gym, OP. 

[Musicisbest93]

4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I was about to say the same thing. 

This appears to be a woman who wants to be left alone at the gym, OP. 

I guess so. The only think I can think of is if by random chance we both enter the gym at the same time. But until then, im there to focus on me and me only ‍ 

[basil67]

On 12/18/2025 at 11:31 PM, Musicisbest93 said:

I guess so. The only think I can think of is if by random chance we both enter the gym at the same time. But until then, im there to focus on me and me only ‍ 

Yes, you have the same routines.   I also go to the gym on specific times/days

[Musicisbest93]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Yes, you have the same routines.   I also go to the gym on specific times/days

Shes there at different times/days too. So in this case I can only focus on what I can control. Serenity now lol