How to initiate conversation with this girl at the gym?

[Musicisbest93]

Lately ive been focusing on myself and when I'm at the gym I stay in my zone. Im usually a quiet and introverted person so by the time it gets packed, that's my cue to leave lol. However, I few weeks ago I made brief eye contact with this girl and just 2 days ago I bumped into her on my way out and smiled. She had her headphones on so I mouthed a "hi" and left. My main problem is I dont know how a mildly autistic introvert such as myself initiates. I still get self-concious at parties or when im eating by myself at the counter. I try to enjoy being by myself and my independence, but at the same time I feel people are watching me. Im definitely a loner and if there's one character I could relate to its Morgan from Walking Dead. I know many of you might say "just be yourself" which is easier said than done. I dont want to fake anything either, because im not that much of a talkative person. I also tend to overthink things. I really wish I could say something about her curls and that I envy her for having them as a joke lol. Its just hard that I hardly ever get noticed (now I know how Eeyore feels). Im always hesitant to say anything that social anxiety defeats me in the end and end up blowing the opportunity.

If my life had a theme song it'd be this:

appreciate some help, thanks!

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

Before you get ahread of yourself, it's important to keep some things in mind here. 

1) She might not even be single. 
2) Women often don't like being approached at the gym (woman here myself) 

That's not to say you shouldn't try to strike up some small talk, but just keep in mind there may be other mitigating factors that stand in the way of connecting with her. If you see her again, simply say hello and keep comversation neutral.See if she is receptive to chatting further. 

10 hours ago, Musicisbest93 said:

really wish I could say something about her curls and that I envy her for having them as a joke lol.

Are we talking curls in her hair or bicep curls? Either way, I would avoid making jokes with someone you don't know. While it's a pretty benign joke and plenty would enjoy the banter, we never know how a stranger is going to received a little humour. It's best to see first if she seems open to some neutral small talk. That will help you gague if she's the type who would appreciate a little light humour. 

[Musicisbest93]

7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Before you get ahread of yourself, it's important to keep some things in mind here. 

1) She might not even be single. 
2) Women often don't like being approached at the gym (woman here myself) 

That's not to say you shouldn't try to strike up some small talk, but just keep in mind there may be other mitigating factors that stand in the way of connecting with her. If you see her again, simply say hello and keep comversation neutral.See if she is receptive to chatting further. 

Are we talking curls in her hair or bicep curls? Either way, I would avoid making jokes with someone you don't know. While it's a pretty benign joke and plenty would enjoy the banter, we never know how a stranger is going to received a little humour. It's best to see first if she seems open to some neutral small talk. That will help you gague if she's the type who would appreciate a little light humour. 

She reminds me of Aubrey Plaza a little bit too. And by curls I meant her hair lol

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Musicisbest93 said:

She reminds me of Aubrey Plaza a little bit too. And by curls I meant her hair lol

I would avoid commenting on her appearance as an opener. 

Have you dated much before? How did those interactions start? 

[Musicisbest93]

41 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I would avoid commenting on her appearance as an opener. 

Have you dated much before? How did those interactions start? 

Ive been on some dates in the past. Some on Hinge, but overall I just dont want to let social anxiety get the best of me. I hope you know what introversion is 

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, Musicisbest93 said:

Ive been on some dates in the past. Some on Hinge, but overall I just dont want to let social anxiety get the best of me. I hope you know what introversion is 

Introversion is very common; we all know what it is. 

All I can suggest is what I already noted above. Best of luck. 

[Musicisbest93]

Have any tips on when Im out at events alone and self-concious about people watching me?

[introverted1]

52 minutes ago, Musicisbest93 said:

I just dont want to let social anxiety get the best of me. I hope you know what introversion is 

Social anxiety has nothing to do with introversion and vice versa.  

As for the girl at the gym, I would say that many women prefer not to be approached at the gym.  And I think that gym culture/etiquette has evolved to the point where most men know not to approach. The fact that you and this woman made eye contact ~2 weeks ago is not an indicator of anything much, imo.

Have you thought about joining interest-based groups where you might organically come into contact with other people? The first step is to get comfortable interacting with other people.  If your social anxiety is strong, you might benefit from therapy to help you address it. 

Edited 21 hours ago by introverted1
typo

[Musicisbest93]

1 hour ago, introverted1 said:

Social anxiety has nothing to do with introversion and vice versa.  

As for the girl at the gym, I would say that many women prefer not to be approached at the gym.  And I think that gym culture/etiquette has evolved to the point where most men know not to approach. The fact that you and this woman made eye contact ~2 weeks ago is not an indicator of anything much, imo.

Have you thought about joining interest-based groups where you might organically come into contact with other people? The first step is to get comfortable interacting with other people.  If your social anxiety is strong, you might benefit from therapy to help you address it. 

I know I will never be talkative and usually the quiet one that observes. But even at social events other than the gym I still keep to myself and try to enjoy being alone, but that only feels like masking emotions. its easier to say "just relax and be yourself" but to me that sounds like you might as well just exist and stare at a wall. The only plan I can think of is to accept that im Luna Lovegood and wait for serendipity to intervene somehow.