Do I not do a good enough job of showing I am interested?

[Cantholdm3e]

A few years ago I briefly dated this guy I met online. I could tell he was a catch, but basically I was emotionally unavailable bc still hung up on my toxic long term on/again off again thing w married man. I kinda just stopped responding. We never had sex. Well we finally reconnected & went on a date again. I liked him / felt I could attach to him way more than I remembered in the past. We met up somewhere that’s a fun little day trip spot & he got a hotel there, no convo about me staying w him was had / I didn’t give that impression. He wanted to split the bill for dinner which I remember about him. He hugged me good night when I was getting in my car, I lingered & then he went in for a kiss. It quickly escalated, to him grabbing my a** and fondling me, which was fine. Eventually he did invite me to stay w him saying we’d “have fun.” I reluctantly declined, saying I’m just a bit slower/more conservative w those things, and he said he remembered that about me. Well I haven’t heard from him today and we’d really seemed to vibe so WTH? I just worry about men thinking I’m just a good-time girl, so I didn’t want to give the impression I’d jump into bed w him the first time interacting w him in years.

[basil67]

First of all, it's only one day later so give it a few days.   That said, he may have just wanted some ass, and when you declined he realised that you're not wanting the same thing.

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, Cantholdm3e said:

I just worry about men thinking I’m just a good-time girl, so I didn’t want to give the impression I’d jump into bed w him the first time interacting w him in years

Good for you and totally umderstandable, so why doubt yourself if you manage to filter out a guy who just wants to get laid? 

You stood your ground and that was smart. He may still follow up with you, but I don't quite get why you are worried about not showing enough interest if the man in question isn't showing interest either (beyond sex) 

 

Edited Monday at 03:59 AM by ExpatInItaly

[Cantholdm3e]

You guys were right as usual. He did come around, but then yesterday asked what I was doing that night & I said dinner plans with a friend (or another date haha didn’t add that)… I didn’t like that he asked if I was free after dinner, because that was same-day and didn’t show planning and maybe sort of reads as looking to hook up. But I also assume the worst about men generally