marcusantonio Posted November 28, 2025 Posted November 28, 2025 Who wouldn’t want to grow up in a healthy, supportive family? Unfortunately, not all of us are given that privilege. When you study relationships and start to understand how they should work, you suddenly feel the emptiness of what you never had. You notice other families who communicate openly, support each other, and grow together, and you realize how different things are at home. (your home). Part of you wants to create the same dynamic with your own family, because you want to feel in a safe place, but you know it wouldn’t work, and that makes you feel broken. That sense of warmth and safety that real families share is priceless, and many of us have never experienced it. You may wonder who am I to talk like this. I'd love to say I'm not an antropologyst, but I'm someone who experienced this on his own skin. To share a real life things, a friend of mine found that kind of love in his partner’s family, and it completely changed him. Hearing his story made me reflect on my own background, where love exists only on a biological level, without true unity or emotional growth. I can cleary see his transition from a guy to a man, just because of the influence of that family. He also told me now He feel in a safe place. Like something like a "positive feedback loop" or something like "honeymoon phase" but perpetual. I look around and see families who grow together, while I feel the sadness of not having one. Even the people I hoped I could rely on behave in ways that remind me of the environment I grew up in, shouting, disrespect, and a lack of care. Instead of having a solid family or social circle to lean on, I feel alone among people who often show only their worst traits. Whenever you try to open up, you end up getting hurt. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never find a group I can truly call family, a team that moves forward together. And I keep wondering where I might find people who can finally make the world feel safe.Sure, I can still see families united, but I can sense that something's not right. Even though I see them united, I see them partying, always being present, etc., there's something about their level of rudeness or how they relate to each other that makes you say they're all together for reasons of blood alone, and not to help each other. I always wonder, in these cases, where we should start to create points, pillars, people in our lives who we can truly trust?
MsJayne Posted November 29, 2025 Posted November 29, 2025 Some people are just gronks, (lacking self-awareness and emotional depth, unaware of the feelings and boundaries of others), and if you're a sensitive and kind person in a family of gronks, you're in trouble.
Author marcusantonio Posted December 1, 2025 Author Posted December 1, 2025 On 11/29/2025 at 9:06 AM, MsJayne said: you're in trouble. Hey man actually centered the point. What would you do?
MsJayne Posted December 1, 2025 Posted December 1, 2025 6 hours ago, marcusantonio said: Hey man actually centered the point. What would you do? Not much you can do if, for some reason, you’re momentarily trapped, but being situationally aware helps to keep you afloat until you can escape. Something you can do is learn how to become emotionally independent, to not let other people’s negativity bring you down, to lower to your expectations of other people so that when they behave badly you’re not surprised or offended. It works like this, if you go around expecting people to be a*****es, and they are, you won’t be disappointed, but if they turn out to be decent you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Author marcusantonio Posted December 3, 2025 Author Posted December 3, 2025 On 12/1/2025 at 9:20 PM, MsJayne said: Not much you can do if, for some reason, you’re momentarily trapped, but being situationally aware helps to keep you afloat until you can escape. Something you can do is learn how to become emotionally independent, to not let other people’s negativity bring you down, to lower to your expectations of other people so that when they behave badly you’re not surprised or offended. It works like this, if you go around expecting people to be a*****es, and they are, you won’t be disappointed, but if they turn out to be decent you’ll be pleasantly surprised. How can you do this while still living with them, and spending your day with them in the morning, in the evening and during the holidays? Furthermore, there are other people who consider you as a good partner, and when they get close to your family and see it as very socially connected, they also hope that they can become part of the "social activities", but they don't know that in reality that family is toxic
Cocopopz Posted December 21, 2025 Posted December 21, 2025 How old are you? Maybe seek some therapy. That will also help you see where you may be making wrong choices chosing freinds. Often people start chosing what they know and what feels comfortable. Even if it's toxic. Therapy and healing can help you see this and chose deferent when you heal. And if your family is certain way, make sure you make alot of freinds regardless. And let them be your family. Also having a church community can be of great support. And you may want a partner that is deferent. But do therapy first. Don't go put all your hope into a partner. That's a big burden for them to bear and to try to make you feel better. Do the your yourself and on yourself with a professional therapist.So you not a burden in a relationship but a support to. 1
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