Surely this goes beyond acting

[flitzanu]

12 hours ago, Sony12 said:

If she is blowing guys in an audition she is making a full on porn video. 

there's a lot of mental gymnastics needed to call this "not porn" and "acting".

no offense to porn stars, i understand yes you're acting, but i'm sure they'd admit they are doing porn and not pretending it's Hamlet.

[introverted1]

1 hour ago, flitzanu said:

i'm sure they'd admit they are doing porn and not pretending it's Hamlet.

To swallow or not to swallow, that is the question.

[flitzanu]

22 hours ago, introverted1 said:

To swallow or not to swallow, that is the question.

"to pee, or not to pee"

[smackie9]

OP I am really sorry it has come to this...no pun intended. IMO it's the bigger money that they keep offering her that is driving her to take on more physical roles. You can tell her, that she's over stepped the crucial boundaries you had in place, she lied, and refuse to listen to you...so what other choice did you have? You can't ever trust her again. That pretty much finishes this relationship. Sorry there was no happy ending. 

[SteveMonaro]

So we've reached a point where it's impossible to continue. We spent the whole weekend being open and honest with each other and it didn't go as I hoped. Paraphrasing, she conceded a little that it is a porn scene within a move, but it's not a porno. She likes it. She wants to keep doing it. It's thrilling to try these new things. I asked her what about me. She was pretty blunt, she loves me and wants to be with me but she's not stopping. I asked her how far she would take things and she floored me when she said that it's her fantasy to have sex with another man but then come home to me. I told her I would hate that and she said she knew that but that only makes it more exciting. She's lost it. Somethings snapped in her brain. We were so in love. It's like this stupid hotwifing fad that seems to be popular right now has embedded itself in her, but she's doing it on film. I gave her a lot of leeway, in hindsight way too much, but I just can't do it anymore.

We have officially split. We will continue to live together for the time being out of necessity which isn't ideal. I don't know where to from here. She seems to think we can work things out which only reinforces to me that she's not listening to a thing I say. This isn't the woman I fell in love with which is so sad. 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, SteveMonaro said:

It's like this stupid hotwifing fad that seems to be popular right now has embedded itself in her, but she's doing it on film

It's not about a fad for her.

She wants to be able to have sex with other men but not lose the comfort and security of her home life. It's well past time to end the marriage. I am sorry it's turned out this way but I think it's been doomed since she started doing sex scenes with her "co-stars." 

[Gebidozo]

Obviously you can’t work it out.

I think living together at this point is a bad thing for you. Please try to be physically separated from her as soon as possible, so that you’ll be able to start healing.

As for her not being the woman you loved, well, in retrospect I don’t think you ever knew her. Perhaps you idealized her too much.

At the very least, when she started going down the pornographic road you should have realized that whatever you thought she was had little to do with reality.

As a side note, there is a huge difference between having a fantasy and acting upon it. There are men who have cuckold fantasies, that doesn’t mean that they actually want to see their wives sleeping with other men. There are women who have rape fantasies, that doesn’t mean that they want to be raped.

Just to be clear, I don’t think that what your wife has been doing is unethical. But she certainly has no right to expect you to accept it.