Lishy Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 CLOBSIEEEEEEEEEEEEE (sorry to hijack the thread) How you been baby? How is the g/f?
noclobber Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 CLOBSIEEEEEEEEEEEEE (sorry to hijack the thread) How you been baby? How is the g/f? hey Lishy sweety.. i am fine. i had sent you a pm but didn't hear back from you. the 'g/f' is fine.. still hanging out with me. she is still the same; wants to meet me for lunch and coffee every single day, go to movies, games, blah blah... all in the name of friendship. yesterday when we met for coffee i said "i may have to go back to India" and guess what she replied.. she said "you are breaking my heart! if you go back then i will come to India and see you. i know it costs $1500 just for the flight ticket but i would still come". oh gosh... i am asking so many questions to clpvsp to get her view of "friendship with a guy".. Lishy guess what?? i am hanging out with this girl but i have totally erased my feelings i am going on a blind date next week and i am gonna tell this girl about it. should be interesting to see her reaction. how is everything with you baby? is your man still driving by? have you gotten over him yet?
Lishy Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 I didnt get a PM from you honey I am so pleased that you have erased your feelings Clobsie, the least hurt the better eh lol Mr Driveby is starting to leave my head now! About time eh - I have not been outside on my balcony as it has been so cold here so I havnt seen him in ages and it is better that way!
noclobber Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 I didnt get a PM from you honey I am so pleased that you have erased your feelings Clobsie, the least hurt the better eh lol Mr Driveby is starting to leave my head now! About time eh - I have not been outside on my balcony as it has been so cold here so I havnt seen him in ages and it is better that way! hmm.. i had pm'd you and walk.. just a Happy New Year greeting. btw i was in Times Square to ring in 2006 great to know that you are getting over him Lishy.. i feel such a relief and be able to move on after getting rid of my feelings for this "girl-friend" of mine.. i would be even more glad if i can get rid of the friendship too.. she is becoming more and more possessive and obsessive...
Author clpvsp Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 hi clpvsp, i am just curious to know this whole "lets just be friends" thing that women say. i have never seen or heard of a guy wanting friendship with a woman once romance is ruled out. as a woman can you answer the following questions: 1) do you want to be friends with this guy only because you enjoy hanging out with him or is there something more to it? 2) how far would you go to be friends with this guy? like, if he doesn't like the idea and walks away what would you do? would you feel heart-broken? 3) if he agress to be your friend would you want to meet him every single day? how much time would like to spend with him? 4) what are all the things that you would talk with this guy? you both started dating and then decide to be friends. given this fact would you talk about a guy that you are dating or seeing? thanks 1) Simply because I enjoy hanging out with him. When we went out we couldn't stop laughing and we just had a blast. 2) I'm only willing to go as far as proposing the idea. If he walks away so be it. I don't know the guy enough to have so much invested that I'd be heartbroken. 3) I'd want us to meet up whenever we both felt like doing so. For example--If I'm headed out to a club to see a band play with some friends then I'd extend the invite , if on a boring Sunday I had some free time and he called me up to go catch a matinee I would go... etc. 4) Figuring he talked about his ex-girflriend quite a bit on our first date ---I would say it's fine for us to talk about who ever we're dating. Remember we never even got to the first kiss after a few dates so thers is none of that fooling around weirdness.
Author clpvsp Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 the 'g/f' is fine.. still hanging out with me. she is still the same; wants to meet me for lunch and coffee every single day, go to movies, games, blah blah... all in the name of friendship. yesterday when we met for coffee i said "i may have to go back to India" and guess what she replied.. she said "you are breaking my heart! if you go back then i will come to India and see you. i know it costs $1500 just for the flight ticket but i would still come". oh gosh... i am asking so many questions to clpvsp to get her view of "friendship with a guy".. QUOTE] FYI- I wouldn't ever say to any of my guy friends they were breaking my heart if they were moving and I don't spend all my itme with any of my guy friends. Seems like mixed signals here :-)
flowergirl Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 CLP: I have this sneaking suspicion that you're actually secretly harboring feelings for this guy, and that you want to be friends with him because then it may develop into something more. This is the case in 99% of these post-dating scenarios. I think you need to delve honestly and deeply into your psyche to think aabout this, and see if this your motivation. At the very least, let him contact you, and after a good time away, if you think you may be able to pull this off, then the best of luck.
Author clpvsp Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 Follow up- I sent the e-mail and he called to me to tell me that he wanted to date me and that he didn't think he could just be friends. I told him that I wasn't into him that way but if he changed his mind in the future and wanted to hang out as friends then he knew how to get ahold of me. So there we go. I guess he's not one of the men that can be friends with a girl he dtaes, or he just didn't want to. Either way at least it's resolved :-). Thanks for all your help!!!
noclobber Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Follow up- I sent the e-mail and he called to me to tell me that he wanted to date me and that he didn't think he could just be friends. I told him that I wasn't into him that way but if he changed his mind in the future and wanted to hang out as friends then he knew how to get ahold of me. So there we go. I guess he's not one of the men that can be friends with a girl he dtaes, or he just didn't want to. Either way at least it's resolved :-). Thanks for all your help!!! clpvsp, its good that you know what is happening instead of just wondering... your situation very much mirrors mine. in my case i knew the girl for around 3 months before i asked her out. i cudn't ask her out earlier 'cos she had a LDR boyfriend. once she broke up with him i asked her out (after 2 weeks) and she said she is not in a position to date any man now and that she sees me only as a friend. i thought she was interested in me and that's why i conveyed my feelings in the first place. she spent so much time with me and never ever mentioned about her BF (i came to know abt it accidentally) . the only time she directly mentioned that guy was when she said that she broke up with him.. whatever. after she said 'no' i kinda felt difficult to hang around with her 'cos i had developed some feelings.. so i told her that i cannot continue with her as a friend (sounds familiar?). she felt extremely bad when she heard this and pleaded me to continue with her as friends. i finally said i will stay away for around 2 weeks, calm down my feelings and then come back to her as friends. she couldn't even wait for 2 days!! she got angry with me that i avoided her... she even said that she felt betrayed 'cos she assumed that i am walking away from her once i realized that i can't get intimate with her. i felt extremely bad when i heard that... PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS MISTAKE WITH THIS GUY!!! if he doesn't want to be your friend then may be he has some feelings for you and would find it difficult to hang around with you as friends... just let go of him! it took a while for me and my girl to get back to normal but i got to say that she was very persistent in her efforts to get me back as her friend. and as i had mentioned earlier she meets me for lunch and coffee every single day, go with me to movies, games, concerts, etc... i never compliment her, never spend for her, was never a shoulder to cry on, she never ever talks about any problems... all that we do when we hang out is just have fun. well anyway, she is really mysterious and i don't know why she wants to hang out with me so much. this is something i can never understand. i am now completely over her and ready to move on and date again.. good luck to you in your search for a partner
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