Feel like it’s my fault we broke up

[PandaPanda]

Following up from my last post. I have now broken up with the guy I was dating for 3 months. He said I’m not the one and he can’t see a future with me and don’t believe we can be life partners.
 

I still don’t understand how can he say he can’t see a future with me when he doesn’t even know me that well yet. I can say for sure I don’t fully know him either. I couldn’t let the thought go so after the break up I asked him what make him think that. I also asked how do you know I’m not the one so early on without getting to know me.

He said he wanted that spark/romantic feelings, but he didn’t feel it when he met me. He said we’re great together and everything was good, his attracted to me, but it missing that extra percentage that he been looking for, the initial spark. 
 

He then said when we have to decide what to eat for lunch or dinner, I can’t seem to decide what to eat and it stress him out. I’m not being able to just pick a cuisine or a dish, make him feel he have to search a lot and end up making the decision because I couldn’t. I usually would tell give him 2 options of cuisine so he can choose, I never thought that was a problem and didn’t know it stress him out that much. 
 

Then he said when it come to going on date I don’t ever plan, it always him having to plan and it stress him out. I didn’t think that’s true. When I asked him what he want to do he always tell me to decide. I gave him a list of things we could do and ask him to pick from there since I don’t know what his interested in. So once he pick the activities we then agree we do it on a weekend we both free. He then said I don’t plan what time we should wake up, whether we should have lunch first or pack lunch, what time to go do the activity. He said I don’t plan, so he end up having to decide everything. I didn’t know he want it to be like a schedule, I thought we just decide as we go since there no set time for the activity. He didn’t communicate with me what was bothering him, I didn’t know it stress him out. If I knew I would have plan everything for us, I don’t mind planing. He then said I’m a little spoil, which is not true and it hurt a bit. 
 

Now I feel really bad for stressing him out. I started thinking if only I could make the decision on what food to eat he wouldn’t need to decide. If only I take the initiative to plan the date, he wouldn’t feel like he always doing it by himself and feel stress about it. It make me regret a lot and wish I did more, maybe then he wouldn’t break up with me. I just wish he communicate with me what was bothering him, it such a small issues that we could have resolve instead of breaking up. It makes me feel so frustrated and hurt. I can’t stop thinking about what if I did more, I plan more, I don’t create stress for him, maybe we will still be together then. 

[Gebidozo]

The breakup has nothing to do with stressing him out.

He said very clearly that he doesn’t feel the spark, isn’t attracted to you enough, and doesn’t see a future with you.

If that’s not a compelling reason for a breakup, then what is?

You did the right thing by breaking up with him. You deserve to be with a guy who really likes you and wants to be with you.

Choosing food is a very small thing, and if he get stressed out because of that, it’s entirely his problem.

Edited 17 hours ago by Gebidozo

[ExpatInItaly]

14 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

He said very clearly that he doesn’t feel the spark, isn’t attracted to you enough, and doesn’t see a future with you.

I agree. 

The rest is just him throwing around random issues because he doesn't know what else to tell you, OP. He wasn't feeling it, and as much as that can hurt to hear, it's best to leave it there and not keep pressing for reasons. Sometimes we just don't feel the right interest in someone to continue dating.