Wife says I don't put in the effort

[marcusantonio]

I’m M35 and my wife is F31, and we’ve been having some issues lately.

We have two kids, and I work long hours, usually 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Friday. We usually spend Saturday afternoons together as a family, and I try to make sure we have at least one date night a month, just the two of us. On Sundays I manage a golf team, so I’m out from about 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

For the past year, my wife has been complaining (mostly to her female friends) that I never make plans, that everything is on her, and that I just go along with things without really caring. She makes it sound like I’m disengaged. Also, she is upset at me.

Sometimes I get a Sunday off and I take her with me when I can, but it still feels like she doesn’t believe I’m putting in effort. Now she’s planning a weekend trip for us. I told her I don’t think we really need another trip since we went on one six months ago. She still wants to go, and she’s planning to take her mother and the kids.

I told her she can go if she wants, but I also said again that I don’t think this trip is necessary.

I'm actually doing good as a man, but I don't know why her behaviour is something like this

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, marcusantonio said:

Now she’s planning a weekend trip for us. I told her I don’t think we really need another trip since we went on one six months ago. 

Do you mean you can't afford it? 

 

[marcusantonio]

12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Do you mean you can't afford it? 

We plan 2 trips a year, every 6 months. 7 days.
But she's actually planning a weekend out

[ShyViolet]

6 hours ago, marcusantonio said:

 On Sundays I manage a golf team, so I’m out from about 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

This seems like a bit much to me... you work such long hours during the week, that the only day you actually spend with your family is Saturdays.  Once a week.  Why would you take something on your plate that takes you away from your family for pretty much the whole day on Sundays also?  It sounds like you are hardly ever home except for once a week.