I am so hurt

[Anonymous]

4 yrs together. I dont even remember who broke it off this time because things were so heated. He reached out by text 18 months after we split asking how I was doing. I chose not to open his message as I was still hurting.

As time went on I wondered why he had never checked back in with me to see if I even got his message. I guess I was looking for effort at that point and I assumed if he had wanted to get in touch with me that badly, it is logical to try me again. By text, call, email etc.

As days went on and the follow up message never came, I felt better about not replying to his message. It had been a simple breadcrumb. That was 15 months ago. 

He recently changed his profile photo, something he hasnt dont in 10 years. It is a photo of him and a new woman on a beach down south.

The comments show that family members have met one another too. I am beyond broken. What did he want from me a year and a half ago? Did he move on because I ignored him? Does he hate me? Is he mad that I ignored his reach out and posting that photo to make me jealous as in, hey, I won the break up? No. he is genuinely happy.  All the stories I told myself about hope and reconciliation us, changing and building, us growing together. It all came down when I saw that photo. I cant even function.

[Gebidozo]

I think you’re asking the wrong questions here.

The right question, perhaps, would be “why did we break up in the first place and what makes me think it would have worked this time”.

Another good question would be “Since I was the one who chose to stop communicating with him, what reason do I have to be upset about him moving on?”

Sorry, but your statement about not really wanting to reach out applies to you much more than it applies to him. He did reach out. You are the one who chose to ignore that. He respected your wish and moved on.

I also don’t understand why you were picturing reconciliation stories when all you needed to do to advance a reconciliation was reply to his message.

If he is genuinely happy, then all you can do is move on and try to find happiness with someone else.

[stillafool]

Reaching out after almost 2 year could have been just to say hi and catch up.  I would assume my ex had moved on if it were me, especially if they didn't respond back.  Play silly games you get silly prizes.  I would shut the door on this now that you know he has moved on to someone else.

[smackie9]

He didn't push it because he was respecting you from your lack of response. To him your silence was taken as "please leave me alone." No one likes to play games. Off and on relationships...that's called issues with the relationship that were too broken to fix. You emotionally beefing about it 15 months later is telling. You need to let go of this hurt, and your past, ..... go forward with your life huh. Live your best life.