Wife cheating on business travel

[ginner]

My Chinese wife travels alone to visit clients and suppliers around SE Asia at least once a month. She usually doesn't take calls from me at night as she says that she often joins them for dinner and drinks after work. 

In recent months, she has been taking last minute trips, often just for a day or two even on a weekend, instead of her usual 1-week trips. 

She admits that she gets hit on by people from work all the time. 

Am I reading too much into this or is she cheating while she's away? She's in her mid 40s but looks a decade younger and still turns heads esp when she dresses up. 

[Gebidozo]

So your evidence of her alleged cheating consists of her being attractive and taking business trips?

If that is all, then yes, you’re reading too much into it, and that’s an understatement. It feels like you have some insecurities and possibly trust issues.

Is there anything else happening that makes you feel that your wife is cheating on you?

 

Edited yesterday at 12:42 AM by Gebidozo

[ginner]

11 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

So your evidence of her alleged cheating consists of her being attractive and taking business trips?

If that is all, then yes, you’re reading too much into it, and that’s an understatement. It feels like you have some insecurities and possibly trust issues.

Is there anything else happening that makes you feel that your wife is cheating on you?

 

I just found out that she had taken overseas vacations with other men over the past year. 

So it's not my insecurity and trust issue.

[Gebidozo]

4 hours ago, ginner said:

I just found out that she had taken overseas vacations with other men over the past year. 

So it's not my insecurity and trust issue.

She has taken overseas vacations and you didn’t know about that? What did she tell you?

What do you mean “with other men”? Just she and one man every time, on a private vacation? Or she and a group of men she works with?

[Els]

22 hours ago, ginner said:

Am I reading too much into this or is she cheating while she's away?

How can we possibly know based on the information provided???

[Sony12]

Is she getting paid by these men? You make it sound like she is possibly part of an escort service.

Edited yesterday at 05:56 PM by Sony12

[ginner]

5 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

She has taken overseas vacations and you didn’t know about that? What did she tell you?

What do you mean “with other men”? Just she and one man every time, on a private vacation? Or she and a group of men she works with?

Her work requires her to travel frequently so it's a convenient excuse.

I saw messages on her laptop that showed she had travelled with men to places where her company has no business, like Bali and the Maldives. Only one man each time from what I can see.

And before you defend her, it's pretty clear that they weren't there for work from the content of these messages. 

[ginner]

3 hours ago, Sony12 said:

Is she getting paid by these men? You make it sound like she is possibly part of an escort service.

I don't think she's getting paid but maybe she's f***ing them because it benefits her job which requires to manage clients and vendors 

That said, she has been getting branded handbags recently although she claims she bought these herself. 

 

[Gebidozo]

4 hours ago, ginner said:

Her work requires her to travel frequently so it's a convenient excuse.

I saw messages on her laptop that showed she had travelled with men to places where her company has no business, like Bali and the Maldives. Only one man each time from what I can see.

And before you defend her, it's pretty clear that they weren't there for work from the content of these messages. 

That’s… very different from your initial post about your wife having business trips.

If this is true, if she took vacations with men and lied to you about those, then yes, of course she is cheating. Do you even need to ask?

 

[Gebidozo]

4 hours ago, ginner said:

I don't think she's getting paid but maybe she's f***ing them because it benefits her job which requires to manage clients and vendors 

That said, she has been getting branded handbags recently although she claims she bought these herself. 

 

Goodness, if that’s what your wife really is, why do you even need to ask questions on the forum and make it initially sound like all she was doing was taking business trips?

The only possible advice here would be “divorce her and find a woman who doesn’t behave like a prostitute”.

I have a strange feeling from reading this thread. Based on the two-tiered information you’ve provided, it went very quickly from “why on Earth would you think she’s cheating?” to “why on Earth would you think she’s not cheating?”.

[ginner]

39 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Goodness, if that’s what your wife really is, why do you even need to ask questions on the forum and make it initially sound like all she was doing was taking business trips?

The only possible advice here would be “divorce her and find a woman who doesn’t behave like a prostitute”.

I have a strange feeling from reading this thread. Based on the two-tiered information you’ve provided, it went very quickly from “why on Earth would you think she’s cheating?” to “why on Earth would you think she’s not cheating?”.

Well, it was only yesterday that I discovered evidence of her cheating. I can't control when s*** happens.

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, ginner said:

Well, it was only yesterday that I discovered evidence of her cheating. I can't control when s*** happens.

I get it.

Sorry this is happening.

Divorce your wife as quickly and as painlessly as you can, and start healing.

Things look very grim now, but eventually you’ll see that there are a lot of good, faithful women out there.

Cheating eventually destroys the person from within, so your wife is going to have way more problems in the future than you.

[ginner]

10 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

I get it.

Sorry this is happening.

Divorce your wife as quickly and as painlessly as you can, and start healing.

Things look very grim now, but eventually you’ll see that there are a lot of good, faithful women out there.

Cheating eventually destroys the person from within, so your wife is going to have way more problems in the future than you.

Thank you. I'm seriously considering a divorce now but it's complicated with a young kid in the picture. 

I think I'll get destroyed before she does. After all, she seems to be enjoying her trysts while I look after everything else. 

[Gebidozo]

28 minutes ago, ginner said:

Thank you. I'm seriously considering a divorce now but it's complicated with a young kid in the picture. 

I think I'll get destroyed before she does. After all, she seems to be enjoying her trysts while I look after everything else. 

Kids are more likely to survive a divorce than a life in a household full of hurt, bitterness, deep resentment, and unhappiness.

Besides, you can’t sacrifice your future happiness just because you’re afraid that your kid will be traumatized by the divorce. You deserve to be free to pursue your happiness.

You won’t get destroyed if you don’t let this destroy you. As for her enjoyment, believe me, it won’t last. Sooner or later, the realization that she has ruined her marriage and hurt a person who trusted her is going eat her soul and make her miserable.