Boyfriend seems to prioritize gaming and streaming over me

[gloworm79]

My boyfriend (30s) has been really wrapped up in Mortal Kombat, and it’s bothering me (F, 30s) way more than I want it to.

Last week and this week, it felt like most of his attention went to MK content and his MK meetups. When we were at dinner last night, he kept checking his phone at the table. He was scrolling X and chexking his MK group chat. Phone during dinner (at a restaurant or not) is rude behavior and Ive never liked it.

After dinner we went back to my place to watch a new episode of Welcome to Derry, but he fell asleep around 8:30pm before it started. But tonight, he was totally awake and gaming late into the night (its almost 11pm here). So clearly he has energy, it just feels like he gives the best of it to gaming and hus gaming friends, and I get the tired, phone checking version.

I brought this up tonight. I said hes been rly preoccupied on MK lately. I mentioned the phone thing at dinner and how he fell asleep early when we were together, and how tonight he was fully awake and streaming on Twitch  

His responses were dismissive and deflective.

It felt like he intentionally missed the point that it’s not about the game itself but it’s about how it made me feel less important i guess.

I’m not perfect or claiming to be, but i dont like this behavior  

Am i being dramatic? 

[Gebidozo]

30 minutes ago, gloworm79 said:

Am i being dramatic? 

Not at all.

As you said, it’s not about the game, it’s about the disrespect that he’s been continuously showing you.

Also, I’m a lifelong gamer who is currently in the process of spending hundred of hours on Elden Ring, but what your boyfriend is doing is too much. There is a difference between loving games and being addicted to them.

 

 

[Sanch62]

Nope, not dramatic.

How long have you been with this guy?

[gloworm79]

28 minutes ago, Sanch62 said:

Nope, not dramatic.

How long have you been with this guy?

Almost 2 years. We dont live together. 

[Sanch62]

10 hours ago, gloworm79 said:

Almost 2 years. We dont live together. 

Whew! I'll bet you're glad you don't live with him. When he goes rude, send him home or leave his place. No fighting, just exit. If he doesn't care enough to raise your priority in his life after that, then you'll have your answer, and you can go do better with someone who isn't afflicted by screen addiction.

You do believe you deserve better than this, right?

[ExpatInItaly]

12 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

When he goes rude, send him home or leave his place. No fighting, just exit.

I agtee. 

I wouldn't tolerate this. And if he makes no effort to chnage, then you will know this relationship has no future. 

[ShyViolet]

I once had a boyfriend who was really into video games and spent a lot of time on them..... it was pretty awful.  What a huge turn-off.  Honestly, this is immature, loser behavior.  If he can't get over his addiction to video games and put some effort into this relationship then you should not put up with this.  Thank goodness you don't live together.  

 

[Els]

Is streaming his job, or is it a hobby? Is he trying to turn it into a job?

Just to be clear, regardless of the answer to the question above, it's important that you don't feel ignored and dismissed in your relationship. So if you constantly feel that way around him, then it's totally valid for you to decide that this isn't the relationship for you, and to leave. You deserve a relationship that makes you feel happy and loved.

The answer only matters because "gaming" is perceived as something frivolous, but if that's a person's job (and in some cases it is), then, well, they've got to work. And people DO fall asleep while on the sofa with their spouse and wake up to work later on, people do take calls for work while out for dinner, etc. If it's a problem for you then it's a problem, but you need to view it in context.