Anonymous Posted November 1 Posted November 1 Hello everyone, I am 30F, and my partner is 31M. We have known eachother about 5 years and dated for about the last year and a half. He is the dream. I adore this man. Anyways, its my first "serious" relationship outside of one I was in from age 18-24. So the first where marriage is really maybe on the table. We are currently looking to move in together when my lease is up. Im familiar with his family and friends, etc. Its definitely serious. But my main question is, what are signs he may be headed towards marriage? Idk how I feel about marriage. I never thought I necessarily wanted it, but with him I would. On more than one occasion he has brought up marriage (in a joking way) around changing last names. Occasionally sending memes around the subject. But as of yesterday, he dropped a "when". He was joking about how I have issues with demands so "WHEN he asks me to marry him, he has to ask if I "won't". I know it wasnt in a serious conversation but the "when" kinda caught me off guard. (And yes I know i need to discuss it with him to actually know, I am mostly just processing here).
Carlston Posted November 1 Posted November 1 (edited) Does he make all the decisions in the relationship and you just go along with them? [ ] Edited November 1 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic
Lotsgoingon Posted November 3 Posted November 3 If you can't talk about whether both of you want marriage and on what timetable you want it, then you have no business THINKING about getting married. You have to have that conversation. Marriage is possibly the biggest decision you'll make in your life. You need to know (in depth) EXACTLY what your partner thinks and what YOU think. If you're afraid to be direct, then you are not ready to be in a serious relationship where marriage is on the table. Get over this foolish shyness and have a real conversation. This is your life in the balance here.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 3 Posted November 3 On 11/1/2025 at 9:03 AM, Anonymous said: And yes I know i need to discuss it with him to actually know, I am mostly just processing here). You say this as an aside, but it actually represents a key issue. The fact that you two haven't properly discussed this, especially when you're getting ready to move in together, points to a problem area in the relationship. The two of you are dancing around a serious conversation, couched in jokes and memes. Why is that? Marriage is going to require much more open communication, so whether ot not he is thinking about it isn't going to move the dial if neither of you feels comfortable actually talking about it. Are you unsure that you'd want to marry him? 1
Els Posted November 7 Posted November 7 On 11/1/2025 at 6:03 PM, Anonymous said: (And yes I know i need to discuss it with him to actually know, I am mostly just processing here). Sounds like you already know what you need to do.
Sanch62 Posted November 7 Posted November 7 On 11/1/2025 at 4:03 AM, Anonymous said: (And yes I know i need to discuss it with him to actually know, I am mostly just processing here). Okay, but you're the one who knows him intimately, and we're a bunch of strangers, not an oracle. The idea that this must be a difficult conversation is concerning. You're both playing chicken with a matter-of-fact subject that both partners who clearly love one another can easily move their egos out of the way to discuss openly. I'd pull the first brick out of that wall and let it fall. You will thank yourself.
ShyViolet Posted November 19 Posted November 19 I'm not sure why you would ask a bunch of strangers on the internet this question instead of have a discussion with the man you are in a relationship with. You need to be able to talk about this rather than just speculate.
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