Leaving my boyfriend over Incense.

[Anonymous]

It's funny that with the issues I have had with my boyfriend I'm strongly considering leaving him over Incense.

 

When I met my boyfriend he was the sweetest person ever. He accommodated me in every way. He did everything for me. He did anything for me I asked. He was SO self-sacrificing that I made it a special point to make sure we did things he liked and he wanted. I had several conversations with him where I sat him down and told him we are doing what he wants to do today, going to eat where he wants, watching what he wants, and I wouldn't settle for anything else until HE chose what we were going to do

Of course I was loving and sweet with it, but I wanted him to know this was about him just as much as me 

Fast forward a little over a year later and things are completely different. He doesn't care what I want at all anymore. He doesn't listen to me when I talk .  The general vibe I get when Im around him is that I could be there or not be there and be couldn't care less.

 

The last interaction I had with him he had several incense burning (I don't like the smell of them in general) but he has this certain kind that is really bad. I've told him several times I really dislike this one.

 

Today I was home and told him I really don't like the smell of that one and he said to me that if I want to live with him I'm going to have to get used to them

 

It was very hurtful and I guess he could tell I was upset and he said it's rude to have a look like that on your face like you're upset or pissed off...

 

And I said well of course I'm a little irritated that you know I don't like that smell and your response was to tell me to get over it.

 

And he said well I'll see you later (I had to leave at this time to go back to work)

 

 

He didn't even care that he hurt my feelings and when I told him I thought what he said was rude he didn't even care enough to say anything at all about it he just said he'd see me later 

 

 

So I am actually considering leaving my boyfriend over Incense.

 

As you can guess there are many more issues but I am just tired of being with someone who is so unconcerned with my feelings that they won't even stop burning a specific kind of incense when they know I don't like them

[ShyViolet]

Ok but it's not over incense.  It's not about that at all.  It's because he's been acting like he doesn't care about you and completely checked out of this relationship.  Which is a completely legitimate reason to leave a relationship.  I think you definitely should.

[Sanch62]

8 hours ago, Anonymous said:

... things are completely different. He doesn't care what I want at all anymore. He doesn't listen to me when I talk .  The general vibe I get when Im around him is that I could be there or not be there and be couldn't care less.

If you find it easier to reduce your reasons down to incense, you can do that, but it sounds more accurate that your reasons are described above.

The incense just offers you an example to support your valid concerns.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, and my heart goes out to you. Feel free to write more, and I hope we can help.

[Gebidozo]

Obviously, you aren’t leaving him because of the incense, but because he’s become insensitive, uncaring, and rude.

People often behave very well during the courtship phase, but show their true colors when you start living with them.