Fun2BMe Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I had recently posted about having met a postal worker while at the post office who asked for my number. He called a few times and I never returned his call, partly because of the work he does being in a low working class field. FYI I am trying to get over that issue. I had been driving out of the way to a far post office to avoid bumping into him like a coward, since I had left him hanging. I couldn't decide whether or not to pursue anything. Today I was short on time and thought he might not be around so I went to the post office he works at. I had dropped some mail into the slot. I have a distinctive uncommon name, maybe he noticed? He works in the back, comes out to help out at the front when it gets busy. Shortly after depositing my mail, while waiting to be helped at the counter for other business, he came out to work out front and said hello and after I didn't start up a conversation, he went back but was now visible from where I was at. After I was helped and walked out, he followed me out and called after me, remembering my name. He asked if I had received his messages. I said yes and was hoping he'd call again. He said he had called many times, but that if I wanted he would call again tonight. I said ok, and he shook my hand and told me to pick up the phone this time. So I guess we'll finally talk tonight, if I get the nerve to. Just thought I'd give you all an update. The other guy I'm interested in, he has been calling and emailing, but because he never asked to see me on Fri or Sat, I am no longer contacting him as heart breaking as it is. I last emailed him on Thursday and he never responded, probably so he would avoid seeing me over the long weekend and not have to see me Sunday which he always does, with Monday off he probably had made plans with someone else. I'm scared if I don't answer the phone again. I don't want him to think I play games, I am just trying to think things through so that I AVOID playing games. In case anyone's interested, I'll give you an update. I could use some support though. 2
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I read your last thread, and I think the whole scenario is silly, because playing games is exactly what you do.
luvtoto Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I had recently posted about having met a postal worker while at the post office who asked for my number. He called a few times and I never returned his call, partly because of the work he does being in a low working class field. FYI I am trying to get over that issue. You can start getting past this *issue* by concentrating on your own faults instead of his.
gfto Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Sounds to me like you're not interested in the postal worker. Otherwise, you'd be answering his calls. If he was smart, he wouldn't call you anymore, but unfortunately for him, he's so gone over you that he can't see that you're just not that into him.
Author Fun2BMe Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 Sounds to me like you're not interested in the postal worker. Otherwise, you'd be answering his calls. If he was smart, he wouldn't call you anymore, but unfortunately for him, he's so gone over you that he can't see that you're just not that into him. I AM ON THE PHONE WITH HIM...FOR THE PAST 1/2 HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!
Author Fun2BMe Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 Well, we were on the phone for over an hour...turns out he does a lot of other stuff too including web design. He was very fun to talk to, made me laugh a lot. He asked me for dinner Saturday night, he is also playing in a band he said I could watch him play afterwards and if I wanted to go see a movie. I thnk we're going to have a lot of fun. I never would have given him a chance but I thought what is there to lose and got feedback here saying it was wrong not to. I mean all these years I've dated opposite types and look where that's gotten me, nowhere. It's strange though because he's saying and doing all of the things I wanted from the other guy I was interested in who never made time to see me on weekends. I guess that's how life is, you never get everything you want sometimes, but I'll try to compromise to see how things go and pretend I'm having a hard time making ends meet to make sure he likes me for me. I add that becuase he asked if I own or rent a place so I don't want any gold-diggers. That's not something I ask someone who I am having my first real conversation with. So anyways, I'll keep you guys posted. 1
Author Fun2BMe Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 You can start getting past this *issue* by concentrating on your own faults instead of his. I want to put my faults behind me for now. It always stagnates me and I can't get passed them...you know. But I did try and that's what counts. I just can't get back into that mode again.
whichwayisup Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 See what happens when you take changes and go for the 'underdog'? Just take it real slow with this guy. Be honest and upfront with him. Good that you two talked, but I'd like to comment on this... I'm scared if I don't answer the phone again. I don't want him to think I play games, I am just trying to think things through so that I AVOID playing games. In case anyone's interested, I'll give you an update. I could use some support though. The thing is, you told him you'd pick up the phone. So in his mind, if you did not pick up the phone, he'd think YOU were playing games with him. Even if that wasn't the case, or your intent, he would have thought that. Plus, the guy IS interested in you. Look how much effort he's gone through to get your attention! He isn't going to screw you over or play games. His actions don't show that at all. Seems like a good guy.
justagirliegirl Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I wasn't aware that postal work was a low class field. I thought they made good money and had a secure job with a lot of benefits. Besides what difference does it make what kind of job a guy has as long as you like each other, have common interestes, and have fun together? What do you do for a living?
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Here's a guy who has a nice, respectable job, has many outside interests and talents, and is very interested in you. You should consider yourself lucky, and give this guy a chance. Quit thinking about this other loser who isn't interested in spending time with you. Otherwise all you are doing is chasing after bad boys who will only break your heart, and then you will only have yourself to blame.
Author Fun2BMe Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 Thanks for all of the feedback. I'm glad I listened to people here and gave him a chance. I learned a lot, mostly of how closed minded I've been. I don't mind the income, as much as him being well rounded. I like to have nice conversations of a variety of topics and activities and I didn't think he would be that type. He is just so easy to talk to though which is nice and has hobbies. He also does computer work and takes continuing education classes at the community college. I have to admit I thought he would not be so interesting being in the postal field. I rarely stay on the phone that long and never would I have given him a chance before. I feel like it's a step forward. He doesn't hang out at bars, he goes to bed early, he is very good looking, very funny and I am actually a feeling a little nervous in a good way to go out with him!!!!!! Thanks for all the support and feedback. Maybe I should be happy the guy I was so into didn't see me on weekends. He was not even close to being this into me and making me laugh like this. It was all games and wondering why I didn't fit into his schedule, feeling all heartbroiken and rejected... What do you do for a living? I'm a stockbroke making a big income and have dated only the successful professional type. Maybe it's ok to give that up for someone I can be happy with. Quit thinking about this other loser who isn't interested in spending time with you. Otherwise all you are doing is chasing after bad boys who will only break your heart, and then you will only have yourself to blame. ok! so true.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I'm glad to hear that things are off to a good start with your new romantic interest. He sounds like an awesome guy with good long-term potential. Keep us posted! And remember, put that other jerk out of your mind, and focus on getting giggly about this man who really does deliver. (sorry, I couldn't resist the pun)
Mz. Pixie Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I'll try to compromise to see how things go and pretend I'm having a hard time making ends meet to make sure he likes me for me. I add that becuase he asked if I own or rent a place so I don't want any gold-diggers. That's not something I ask someone who I am having my first real conversation with. So anyways, I'll keep you guys posted. OMG, OMG, OMG!!! :sick: :sick: Are you really this stuck on yourself?? You'll try to COMPROMISE and pretend you're having a hard time making ends meet??? That's playing games, sweetheart. Honey, you're stockbroker- and I think you have a very overinflated opinion of yourself. It's not like you're a celebrity. A golddigger- that seriously cracks me up. I'm sorry but I hope he wises up before it's too late and runs for the hills. You need some serious therapy- I mean years of it before you could maintain a healthy relationship. 1
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I'm sorry but I hope he wises up before it's too late and runs for the hills. You need some serious therapy- I mean years of it before you could maintain a healthy relationship. Silence! I'm actually rooting for her. Maybe the mailman will turn out to be exactly what she needs to cut her back down to size. Maybe he'll force her to see that human worth is not measured in dollar increments or silly pieces of paper with certifications printed on them (which were bought too, of course). Maybe he'll turn out to be almost TOO good for her in her very own eyes. Maybe she'll find this incredible, stimulating, enlightened human being in him... everything she always wanted to be (but never realized it). Maybe she'll become so entranced by him that her opinion of him won't have anything to do with what he can offer her. Fun2, you DO realize (and I mean this in the most inoffensive way possible, only to point out a flaw you may then work to overcome) that your opinions of people and situations are completely centered around YOU? How they treat YOU, how many times they call YOU, how they compare in "status" to YOU, what rewards they can offer YOU, etc... Is it possible for you to detach yourself from your own existence for a second and look at the world objectively? I would like to see a post from you that does not include the words "me", "myself", or "I". It would be a good exercise for you. And for the love of God, don't put your issues on the back burner. They are not going away. They'll only be there waiting to bite you in the arse at the most inconvenient moment, when you're most vulnerable. That said, I truly wish you the best luck with your hot little mailman. He sounds like a dreamboat. Much better than that stale old crust you were dating before. Just don't hurt him or I'll bite your head off.
SmoochieFace Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 See what happens when you take changes and go for the 'underdog'? Exactly. Something else that has popped into my head... the fact that this guy was a *working class* dude who appeared dull at first now seems to be a guy who has a multidimensional existence. He appears to have more of an INTERESTING life than those so-called *hot-shot professional* types. Anyone care to take a stab at why?
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Exactly. Something else that has popped into my head... the fact that this guy was a *working class* dude who appeared dull at first now seems to be a guy who has a multidimensional existence. He appears to have more of an INTERESTING life than those so-called *hot-shot professional* types. Anyone care to take a stab at why? Hmmm.... could it be because he doesn't base the value of his own self-worth solely on his profession? Because he works to live, not lives to work?
luvtoto Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Exactly. Something else that has popped into my head... the fact that this guy was a *working class* dude who appeared dull at first now seems to be a guy who has a multidimensional existence. He appears to have more of an INTERESTING life than those so-called *hot-shot professional* types. Anyone care to take a stab at why? She shouldn't be so snobbish & quick to judge people by their social status!
Mz. Pixie Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Blah, Blah- Yeah, I could be rooting for her if I hadn't already lived the movie version of what it's like to live with someone like her. It's mental illness- not something that a good relationship will snap her out of.
SmoochieFace Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Hmmm.... could it be because he doesn't base the value of his own self-worth solely on his profession? Because he works to live, not lives to work? Good point, however I was looking at it from the standpoint of the mailman having a simple *9 to 5* job and having more time to develop and nurture his interests and be a well-rounded individual. He gets up, goes to work, does his job for the day, and goes home to do whatever he wants. He *has a life*. Now... contrast that with the *professional* who not only does the *9 to 5* but is also *electronically tethered* to his job by a Blackberry (or some other PDA). For that individual, the job seems to never end. The phone calls are taken at home, on vacation, in the restaurant, etc. Sorta like being married to his career and, as a result, being quite unidimensional. So who would you find more *interesting* - the mailman who is well-rounded but living on a modest income or the professional who has lots of riches but is quite dull?
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 My boyfriend is married to his job. Believe me, I WISH he worked for the post office! I'm also in a "professional" career, but it is a rare occasion that I will allow my job to occupy my time and my life outside of office hours.
SmoochieFace Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 My boyfriend is married to his job. Believe me, I WISH he worked for the post office! And this is EXACTLY why I do not fall for the *getting ahead* pitch. If I became a *careerist* I would lose a lot of MY time therefore I would lose touch with my interests. I would become quite boring as a result. I do not want to be a *dull* person who lives only for my job.
whichwayisup Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I look at it this way. You can work your ass off for whatever company you happen to work for. But, at the end of the day, work is NOT there for you like someone you love is. During the rough times, work won't "be" there for you, only the money. I'd rather be happy all around than just have a high paying job.
Yamaha Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I want to put my faults behind me for now. It always stagnates me and I can't get passed them...you know. But I did try and that's what counts. I just can't get back into that mode again. I commend you if this is how you truly feel. It is hard to come out of your comfort zone and for those who make the trip they can find a whole world of possibilities. Good Luck
JayKay Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I don't see what is so high-falutin' about being a stockbroker. You basically buy and sell.....stuff. I know other people who buy and sell....stuff....who make a sh*tload of cash.... and who cares? It's no classier or more noble than being a teacher, a nurse or animal trainer.....all of whom you would probably lump in a 'lower class' category simply because they make less money than you do. You have an over-inflated sense of self importance, OP. I tend to think its' because you are truly very insecure, so feeling 'better than' or 'above' others may be what keeps you going. Unfortunately, it has probably stifled your range of life experiences. There are wonderful people in this world who do not make bucketloads of cash and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by your unassuming mailman. And yes, there are people who make bucketloads of cash...but for whom money is not the main thrust in life. I saw an interesting program (I think it ran on 60 minutes) about the owner of Malden Mills, a highly successful fabric coverter/wholesaler. When his mill caught on fire and burnt to the ground, he paid his staff's wages for the entire year it took to rebuild the facility. They all returned to work for him once the mill was finished. When the interviewer asked him, "Why on earth would you continue to pay your staff's full wages for an entire year? They could go find other jobs..." he smiled and said, "So I could save a couple of million dollars? What am I going to do? Buy another house? Buy more suits? I have a house. I have enough suits." At some point he was given an award for his charitable gesture towards his employees. During his speech he said it saddened him that his behavior was considered 'unusual' enough to warrant a special award. Now that's a MAN. I never forgot that program and I think everyone could learn a lot from someone like that. He didn't see his factory workers as 'lower class' people. He saw them as mothers, fathers, spouses, family.
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