Sex expectations post kids

[Miemie]

Have been with hubby for 12 years, and have two kids, aged 4 and 5. Since our second child was born sex got harder and things have gone downhill in that department.

I would say that our relationship has strengthened as I feel so safe, connected and grateful for my hubby. I’ve never felt stronger due to the fact I think we are a great team most of the time and can see us being together forever.

However from his side it is a different story. Life has obviously gotten busier with kids which leaves less time for us. We used to have weekend daytime sex, morning sex, more adventurous sex etc. now it’s harder to fit it in and by night time I am more tired than him. I’m also struggling with body image and a feel I have binge eating disorder. I don’t have the confidence I used to and generally feel like I have changed a bit as a person. 
 

I'm happy with our sex life (mostly) but hubby is very dissatisfied. We have it about once a week but at times I feel it is forced and my libido doesn’t match his. I am happy to have sex but my hubby wants it more frequently, and more lingerie, toys etc. to me it always feels like I need to be better in the bedroom.

im sad that he can’t see things from my point of view and it makes me angry at him and angry with myself. 
 

What else can I do to make this better. I am in the wrong and need to increase libido? Or is he being unreasonable? 
 

Edited Friday at 09:27 AM by Miemie
Not enough info.

[introverted1]

1 hour ago, Miemie said:

We have it about once a week

Most men most people would not be happy with this little sex, especially since your kids are not babies.

What would it take for your libido to return?  Have you seen a doctor?  Are you handling more than your share of household duties?  Do you both work outside the home?  IOW, are there other imbalances that are being manifested through sex?