Defcon Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 My whole relationship views/experiences have changed since my last post here. Im smarter and much more experienced... But this is way beyond me. Lets start out with the situation. There is this girl that I am extreamly attracted to. But I dont know if I should pursue the relationship, or just keep it at a "friendship" state... If thats what you call it. Now for the oh so great background of my confusing situation. This girl is... gorgeous to say the very least... So I know that part of my attraction to her is a physical attraction. But also I feel that it is more than that... A year ago, she was going out with this guy, which... Is un-arguably not worth her, at all. But im not going to get into it. While she was going out with this guy, I accidently let her know that I liked her. We became friends, really really good friends. But there was always that "tension" between us, that we wanted to be together... During summer we didnt talk much, because she didnt want her boyfriend to know she talked to me. He would try, yes try to kill me... The kid was a stoner, and puny (not that im saying im some big badass or anything, but he was)... But we didnt talk for a long time, it wasent till 4 days ago that we started talking again. 3 days ago she came over with my best friend (who happens to be a girl) and we all got drunk together and chilled at my house... When she came through the door we locked eyes, like old times... It felt, amazing... After like 4 hours they went home... 2 Days ago they came over again, we got a lil high, laughin and ****. But it wasent untill they left that I relised more than half the time they were over we were just "in tune" with eachother... Maybe it was just me, im not sure. Its unusuall for me because I can not "read" her like I can anyone elts. Last night they came over, but my best friend had to leave, so we took her home and then me and the girl came over to my house. We got pretty high. Very, very high... About a hour later (what we did for a hour is just a blank in my memory, and hers too) we were sitting on the couch just like talking to eachother and stuff. Then we got on some topic about us, I forgot what it was... But she gave me all the right signals to make a move on her... I didnt, not because I was scared. But because we were both high, and I couldent do that if she didnt feel the same with me... Today they came over, picked me up and the whole day we just spent riding around, stoppin and walkin in the woods and ****. Just hangin out together. But we always lock eyes, like she wants to be with me, whenever we are togehter... Now for what im confused about... This girl is not what people would call "relationship material". The last few relationships she has been in she was in them because she loved the attention she got... But she never really was "deep" with the guys, she almost never talked to them. Just used them... I know this girls deepest darkest secrets, and they are not pretty... We have deep conversations together, about anything and everything. Most of the time I feel she likes me, maybe not exactly as much as I like her, but enuff that she wouldent just use me. But then I think about stuff and I dont know. My best friend tells me that she might just think of me as a close friend, and if I try to get with her that she will feel awkward with me... I left ALOT of stuff out, but I didnt feel it was any importance to my situation... If I left anything out that you are confuzed about just ask. I have a habbit of leaving important stuff out sometimes. Any ideas on what I should do? :confused:
Weye Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 It sounds to me like you don't know yet what you really want from her. You have to decide that yourself, a bunch of people on a web-board can't make that decision for you. If you want a relationship with her, ask her out, otherwise, keep her as a good friend.
Author Defcon Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 Yeah your exactly right. Thanks!
gfto Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 It sounds to me like she sees you as a "male girlfriend," which would disqualify you as a boyfriend. You're crazy about her. You don't know how she feels about you. To find out, you'll have to ask her out and the go for a kiss at the end of the date. Then, you'll have your answer.
Author Defcon Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 Yeah I thought about that also... I wont know if I don't do somthing. I would rather keep going knowing she dosen't like me and I don't have a chance than sitting going crazy about her not knowing. I guess I just needed a little bit of "inspiration". Now all I haft to do is wait till I feel the time is right to say/do anything. Which could be weeks... I hate the way my mind works sometimes... If things don't "click" with the surroundings/convo/tone of eaither one of us/etc. I will not be able to say the things I want to, even if I try. Huge mental block for me, but it also saves my ass all the time. So I cant complain too much
gfto Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 you don't need to say anything. Just make a date with confidence. Tell her, "hey, let's go out for dinner (fill in a day of the week). I'll pick you up at (fill in a time)." Then, at the end of the date, you have to go for a kiss (not a make-out). Watch how she reacts. If she turns and gives you the cheek, you're out. Simple as that! Realistically, it's extremely rare to make the transition from friend to boyfriend, but it does happen.
Author Defcon Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 The only problem with that is I don't have my license. Not that I can't get it or I don't have a car. But because of reasons having to deal with the police in my town and my agressivness when my personal rights are being pushed. But I see her alot... If I had my license I woulden't be posting here, I would have already known, maybe I should have put that into my first post told you I have a bad habit of leaving important things out.
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