What should I Do? I wanted kids and marriage with her now I need to think carefully

[Lamron300]

8 hours ago, introverted1 said:

This is absolutely a delusion.

This woman has a veritable parade of red flags. For her to change would involve significant insight on her part followed by therapy.  Nothing you've written suggests she is on this path.

As others have stated, it's natural/normal to be sad after a breakup.  What are you doing to take care of yourself?  Spend time with friends, start or ramp up your workout routine, learn to cook healthier meals, take up a new hobby.  Find things to focus on other than your wish that she had been different.  You cannot change the past nor who she is.  The only person you control is you. Be thankful you discovered who she is before you tied yourself to her either through marriage or a child. 

I feel it’s a shame as I have been able to have more reasonable discussions with strangers on this forum than my current ex. The first 5/6 months was great and it feel like we had a bond. No arguments etc. wanting kids together seemed impulsive but it was in the context of a whirlwind romance. Then it wasn’t the arguments, it was the reluctance on her part to fix anything, which suggests she started the arguments for no reason. For example, before Xmas, she asked me 20 questions from instagram and then asked me what my plans were for Xmas. All I said was I plan to go home maybe a couple of days either side of Xmas to visit family and friends. She burst out crying, said I didn’t prioritize her or think about her in my plans and left my house and wouldn’t listen to reason. I explained to her that wasn’t the case, it was only December 9 and we could make our own plans. I apologized if there was a misunderstanding. She didn’t accept it and went home and said she is glad the ‘big things’ are coming out now. Next morning I get a text saying maybe we should take some time apart and consider if we are ready for a committed relationship! All because I said I may go home either side of Xmas. I’m someone who always wants to fix things and I don’t have malice towards partners if I feel it’s just a misunderstanding. She said festive period is an important time for her due to bereavement when she knew it’s exactly the same for me, but she didn’t care. 
 

This is someone who wanted to move in and have kids with me, but shown she would make up an argument out of no reason and even if she felt it was valid, wouldn’t accept reason. 
 

Im now finding it hard to both move on mentally from the confusion of the relationship and the disappointment. I’m currently away with friends and they are all partnered up etc and it’s probably compounding it. 

[Els]

9 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

If she wasn’t happy with me, why did she want to move in anyway? 
 

Because she wanted a baby daddy and you were the closest option... But I think you know that already.  

10 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

 I cannot confirm how I would be in terms of household chores if I have kids

I really feel like you need to at least get used to doing your own household chores by yourself before you even consider having kids, unless you're making $200k+/year and are willing to spend it all. Lots of guys have no idea how much extra work having kids involves, and society doesn't tell them until they're right in the thick of it. For an average couple who spends 10 hours a week on household chores, having kids triples that. For you, who does almost nothing, it's essentially an infinite increase...

15 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

Im not trying to be the victim etc or say I’m perfect but I’m slowly starting to realize, with some people there is nothing you can do to make them happy

Yeah, unfortunately this is very much the case.