What should I Do? I wanted kids and marriage with her now I need to think carefully

[Gebidozo]

3 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I’m now obsessing over her motives. I refuse to believe all the arguments she started were for the reasons she said. 

She started those arguments because she was unhappy in the relationship.

She wanted kids ASAP and didn’t care for marriage. You wanted marriage and didn’t want to have kids ASAP. For both of you, these incompatible goals became a deal breaker, so you broke up. 

There is nothing left to obsess over. There is no mystery. She’s 40, she was in a hurry to have kids, you weren’t. Nobody is wrong here, it’s just incompatibility. A normal thing that happens all the time. Move on and try not to overthink simple things.