What should I Do? I wanted kids and marriage with her now I need to think carefully

[Els]

10 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I don’t know why you would jump to conclusions. Again all wrong. The sickness had nothing to do with it, she wasn’t dying, she was at work after a 12.5 hour shift. We didn’t have to see each other that day. I can’t leave my dogs as I’ve already said a million times, so when I see her, I get to hers for like 10.30pm and leave at 4/5am. She said can I come to yours? Do I now need to be psychic to know what she really meant was actually I’d like if you offer to come to mine. We were just going to bed, it was late. We live fifteen minutes away from each other. Not like I made her travel 3 hours when sick. She is 40 years old and should be able to communicate. 
 

And even though I have changed (even though I don’t need to) let me address your point. I suffer general anxiety anyway and ONLINE dating makes it ten times worse. I always used to feel as a man on OLD ‘ what if she’s talking to 100 other people, what if she’s dating other people’, ‘ when will she delete her profile’. Then I realized to myself I cannot single-handedly change modern dating culture. Me worrying about other people’s actions doesn’t change the outcome. So I did in the past engage in going on multiple dates to try and come to the best outcome for myself. 
 

This year is different. When I first met my current partner she was great and outgoing but also in the grieving process, around two months stage she would say stuff like ‘ I’m not sure if this is too good to be true or I’m not sure if I’m using this as escapism’. Because I’m an empathetic person I said, just give the dating stage time. No pressure, just roll with it.  Then eventually it turned into a ‘relationship’. It would have been normal iWhat I am trying to say is I’m a normal person like anyone else, I’m just trying to find out what’s right for me (also open to others opinions, hence I’m on a forum). I want marriage and kids, but obviously it’s not just me that it’s up to. I’ve found unsuitable partners. I can’t win. November last year I was ‘dating’ a woman and I expressed concern that we were intimate too quickly or a lot and she said ‘ don’t worry, it’s just because we’re into each other’. Few weeks later she had a mental breakdown and ended the relationship. What I’m trying to say is i  can’t win either way..
 

 

If you have genuinely changed, then what you need is patience. Presumably you now understand that treating everyone else like a list item doesn't work, so be willing to bide your time, and don't let yourself be reduced to an item on someone else's list either.

[S2B]

She is very immature and deleted your phone number when you don’t call her? She acts like a five year old! That’s NOT someone to have as a partner! It is HER who isn’t communicating.

it was sunshine and roses - until it wasn’t. And now that it isn’t - take a look - because this is your future if you stay with her! 
you don’t need a reason to end it - you just know it no longer feels right. That’s enough to know she isn’t a good partner by the way she has been participating the past week or so.