Letting go, when all you want is to hold on...

[Shehaari]

4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

LDRs can be awfully anxiety-inducing for some folks, but particularly for people who are already anxious by nature. The periods of separation can be very hard to bear, wondering what he's doing or when he's going to call back or why he can't visit sooner. You see what I mean? 

I definitly understand what you mean. Mature communication, understanding and trust is very important for LDR to work out. 
The points you mention are cruitial in establishing if LDR could work for me in my current situation.I definitly don't want to be the insecure or anxious type in dating.
 

It would hurt me even more if we did try LD short term, but other factors like finding someone more convenient/local would make him end the relationship with me.
That is why I respect his decision, (even though it makes me sad it ended there) and will try to learn from this. 

Maybe this had to happen at this point in time, in order for me to understand myself on a deeper level and focus on getting in a better emotional place.
Now I need to figure out how to become more emotionally strong.... lol. 

[glows]

On 10/4/2025 at 1:51 AM, Shehaari said:

I get what you mean. With time, this won't hurt as much and I will make sure to date locally.

If I should be meeting "more people" in general, I would need to learn how to practice non-attatchment, at least that is what my friends say. I'm not sure how I go about that tbh.
I genuinely struggle with this "it is what it is" mentality, even though that is what might "save my heart" when moving forward. 

I’ve not ascribed to any of the trendy or kitschy attachment ideas. I’m just firm in my beliefs and values and have never had a fear of attachment. My philosophy is that life IS about attachments and also learning to let go when it calls for it. Sometimes we can feel connected to someone in spirit and in our hearts but it doesn’t mean they play an active physical role in our lives. The core belief is that everyone walks their own path and is their own person. We cannot control or coerce or manipulate another person into being what we want. We just respect it and if not, then go your separate ways with the ongoing belief that what they’ve chosen is best for THEM. It’s not always about you and what you want. When you let go of that and see others as whole other people and not extensions of your wants or desires you respect that and understand your paths may not always converge. That’s just my 2 cents on the topic. Don’t be afraid of living and learning and being attached. Just cultivate a strong sense of self and respect for others.

[Sanch62]

19 hours ago, glows said:

Sometimes we can feel connected to someone in spirit and in our hearts but it doesn’t mean they play an active physical role in our lives.

Yes, and this doesn't imply that you must shut down your love. It's just a recognition that some people are best loved from far away.

Quote

The core belief is that everyone walks their own path and is their own person. We cannot control or coerce or manipulate another person into being what we want. We just respect it and if not, then go your separate ways with the ongoing belief that what they’ve chosen is best for THEM.

Yes. We all see through a unique lens. The right people for you will view you through the right lens. Part of maturity is respect for the limits of others. We do this by not turning every mis-matched lens into a reflection on us.

I liken this to two puzzle pieces that don't fit together. Neither is less valuable than the other, and both have their place as part of the whole. They just don't belong together.

[Shehaari]

21 hours ago, glows said:

life IS about attachments and also learning to let go when it calls for it. Sometimes we can feel connected to someone in spirit and in our hearts but it doesn’t mean they play an active physical role in our lives.

I appreciate your thoughts and I agree with your philosophy. When you're in the midst of it all though, it is sometimes hard to see.
We have to let people be who they are, want what they want and respect their choices. I have come to understand that my error in this situation of having a hard time letting go, is that I made it about myself (because in his words I was such an amazing person, but why wasn't I not amazing enough for us to continue getting to know eachother even though that had to be LD?).

It is like this perspective you share is a skill we learn with time and experience. Sometimes it can be clouded by not feeling good enough, but again it is not about us - it is about them and what they need to do for themselves. 

[Shehaari]

1 hour ago, Sanch62 said:

21 hours ago, glows said:

Sometimes we can feel connected to someone in spirit and in our hearts but it doesn’t mean they play an active physical role in our lives.

Yes, and this doesn't imply that you must shut down your love. It's just a recognition that some people are best loved from far away.

This is one of the hardest things people with so much love in their hearts have to do - yet it is the right thing to do in certain situations.. 

 

1 hour ago, Sanch62 said:

The right people for you will view you through the right lens. Part of maturity is respect for the limits of others. We do this by not turning every mis-matched lens into a reflection on us.

I liken this to two puzzle pieces that don't fit together. Neither is less valuable than the other, and both have their place as part of the whole. They just don't belong together.

It is a neccesity, the same way we want others to rspect our limits. 
When reflecting back, I do think I initially found it hard to let go because the option of giving it a try (because neither of us were the issue) was dismissed so easily.

Indeed. It is much easier understood in indsight. 

All your thoughts and advice have helped me think differently and I am grateful for that  

[Sanch62]

9 hours ago, Shehaari said:

...I was such an amazing person, but why wasn't I not amazing enough for us to continue getting to know each other even though that had to be LD?

When was the last time you endured a 15 hour flight?

Did you walk off the plane feeling as though you could do it regularly?

[Shehaari]

7 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

When was the last time you endured a 15 hour flight?

Did you walk off the plane feeling as though you could do it regularly?

It is not a 15h flight @Sanch62. I am aware that a LDR with someone living 15h away by plane, with both partes wanting to spend as much time with eachother as possible would be very silly to ask anyone. The flight is a couple of hours. The calculation of 15-ish hours was total travel time from his doorstep to the town I live in and back to his hometown (assuming it being incl. traffic etc) and he had concluded that the distance was too long, as he wouldn't be able to see me as much as he would want to - especially with work related commitments etc. All fair points.. I get it.

Before I thought of checking options from here myself, it was as though he had already made up his mind and said it would have worked initially, and that I was woth it as a person, but (from what he knew) LD wouldn't be sustainable. Once we ended it the second time. I felt it might have been a premature decition, so I asked him if he could recondider as I had found an alternative solution and wanted to ask him what he thought about it. (In sum it was travel to an airport much closer to his hometown and much less travel time in total than what he had experienecd coming here). I also said that if it meant we could be together a couple of times a month, but for a longer period of time, it was woth it - why not see where this would go? He said he could see what I was trying to say ,and that it would be great, but it was a big commitment, and huge steps for myself in particular. I 'm not sure what he meant by that (if he was talking about a move) but if he had listened to what I had found, it would have put us in a better position - not ideal, but better,  but I did not want to come across as disrespectful of his decision, pushy or trying to force him to change his mind.. My hope was for him to hear me out, as the issue with distance (and expenses) would reduce.

All this time I truly mean that on a logical level  I understand and respect where he's coming from, and I know he is looking out for the both of us, as he told me he doesn't want any of us ending up hurt if we get (more) attatched along the way and the distance/time spent apart is still an issue 3, 4, 5 months in. We will just be in the same spot as we started out in, just more attatched. I agree and like I said before, I would be even more hurt if we did try and he for example met someone locally that made pursuing a relationship with her more convenient... it just felt hard letting this go and accept reality, I wish he'd  just hear me out and given what I had to say a thought.

I might be naive and still in a place where I am coming to terms with it all - but all things considered, do you think this chapter is closed for good?

Ahhhhhhh, my mind and heart are continously figting this. I guess today is just that day where I feel a little lost with the whole situation, but with time I'll see why it all had to happen and I will make sure I learn from it moving forward  



 

Edited Tuesday at 09:32 AM by Shehaari

[ExpatInItaly]

18 hours ago, Shehaari said:

it just felt hard letting this go and accept reality, I wish he'd  just hear me out and given what I had to say a thought.

Gently, I think he had already decided this wasn't a match for him. He didn't want to explore logistical solutions because he knew he wasn't interested in trying to take this further anyway. When someone isn't open to that sort of conversation, we need to realize that it's just not something they want to do and trying to find solutions is futile. In other words, I don't think him hearing you out would have changed the outcome here. 

It's hard to accept that when we like someone, of course, But it seems the romantic interest wasn't as mutual as it needed to be to explore this further. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, to be very clear.  We can't be everyone's cup of tea. 

[Sanch62]

16 hours ago, Shehaari said:

... it just felt hard letting this go and accept reality, I wish he'd  just hear me out and given what I had to say a thought.

I understand. It sounds as though you can recognize that saving a few hours or some money here or there is splitting hairs. No need for frustration about not expressing your plan when he's the one who has navigated to learn HIS OWN tolerance for travel and his own vision of what he ultimately wants for himself.

While he's well within his rights to deflect any other ideas as too negligible to consider, that does not equate to a rejection of you as a desirable human being.

Either someone identifies themselves as capable of a long-distance investment, even if just a few hours' drive without additional concerns about plane ticketing, weather, and airport hassles, OR, they know themselves well enough to recognize that what they really want is a local relationship to enjoy regular dating and getting to know a potential life partner in a more natural way--outside the scope of occasional 'vacation bubbles' where real life can't penetrate.

Add a desire for regular mixing of family and friends as part of a shared vision, and you may have a picture of this man's ideal version of a partnership that he's willing to hold out for, which cannot be accomplished long-distance.

While it's unfortunate that he needed to experience this trip before recognizing all of this, it doesn't speak of any reflection on you. Even committed relationships already formed prior to the imposition of a distance often fail once the reality of traversing that distance comes into play.

Quote

I might be naive and still in a place where I am coming to terms with it all - but all things considered, do you think this chapter is closed for good?

Nobody can answer this. 

While I don't believe in squelching hope, I do believe in ensuring that hope cannot be misused as a barrier to adopting resilience and discovering a better path. I'd put hope on a back burner and trust that if it's a means-to-be deal, it will manifest without your influence or concern. Meanwhile, you have not sabotaged yourself from discovering potential roads to your best future that are more important and valuable than a mere passing lesson to live your life more fully through an enlivened state.

[glows]

On 10/6/2025 at 8:41 AM, Shehaari said:

I appreciate your thoughts and I agree with your philosophy. When you're in the midst of it all though, it is sometimes hard to see.
We have to let people be who they are, want what they want and respect their choices. I have come to understand that my error in this situation of having a hard time letting go, is that I made it about myself (because in his words I was such an amazing person, but why wasn't I not amazing enough for us to continue getting to know eachother even though that had to be LD?).

It is like this perspective you share is a skill we learn with time and experience. Sometimes it can be clouded by not feeling good enough, but again it is not about us - it is about them and what they need to do for themselves. 

Ldr is possible but it is really shitty. I did it as a teen with my also teen bf bc we went to different universities and it was more s*** than s***. I have no other words for how terrible it was. You end up spending more time alone in agony and missing someone and when it’s over you wonder if you knew them at all bc what in the actual heck did you know about them in those years you spent apart doing different things and hanging out with different friends/lives barely converging. So while I think it is sad at first and ego is bruised he ultimately made the best decision if neither of you have any real plans of moving to the same country or city. And why would you or why would he. It’s a risk. That’s what he means as well I presume by “commitment”. Sure, you can chalk it up to the fact that you’re “not amazing enough” but it could also be the cold truth that there is really no point. Also finances? Budget? Is he broke or inbetween jobs? No time from work? If he’s decent looking and has a career it’s highly likely he has decent options in his area and can meet new people every week without having to fork out all that cash and spending 95% of your communication via calls or texts. This is also quite boring? A lot of people just aren’t cut out for that and need a lot more physical intimacy and in person time. I understand you have strong feelings but not a lot of people aren’t gonna do ldr for these reasons^

id say chin up and don’t worry about the letting go part. Enjoy all life has to offer and find joys in things big and small. You’re not really letting go of anything when you have a whole world of wonder and things to explore.

Edited Wednesday at 05:39 AM by glows

[Shehaari]

5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Gently, I think he had already decided this wasn't a match for him. He didn't want to explore logistical solutions because he knew he wasn't interested in trying to take this further anyway. When someone isn't open to that sort of conversation, we need to realize that it's just not something they want to do and trying to find solutions is futile. In other words, I don't think him hearing you out would have changed the outcome here. 

It's hard to accept that when we like someone, of course, But it seems the romantic interest wasn't as mutual as it needed to be to explore this further. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, to be very clear.  We can't be everyone's cup of tea. 

You might be right, Expat. It sucks actually being told and shown the oposite when we were together. He did say he realized only once he came back that it would be difficult to sustain the relationship long term, and something he didn't think of before coming to see me. 

This makes sense. At least I tried to make it work, but respectfully his decition was already made. 

It is, because despite sharing 4-5 days in person together,  the physical and emotional vulnerability felt very natural and easy. It is not something I'm used to, especially the physical part. Connecting that way meant a lot to me. Now that both types of vulnerability no longer exists between us, I feel even more vulnerable and "naked" if that makes sense? 

And with this experience, I would need to know/learn how to navigate dating in the future, so I can accept reality if things don't work out because of a third factor..
I don't want to end up like this again. 

5 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

While it's unfortunate that he needed to experience this trip before recognizing all of this, it doesn't speak of any reflection on you. Even committed relationships already formed prior to the imposition of a distance often fail once the reality of traversing that distance comes into play.

This is the sad reality, Sanch. I was fine until he insisted on coming to see me (i'll be fine now too, but you know what I mean hehe)  I'm grateful he was as honest as he felt he could be though. It just sucks..

I  agree to everything you've said in the post, Sanch. Accepting reality one day at a time 

 

4 hours ago, glows said:

Ldr is possible but it is really shitty. I did it as a teen with my also teen bf bc we went to different universities and it was more s*** than s***. I have no other words for how terrible it was. You end up spending more time alone in agony and missing someone and when it’s over you wonder if you knew them at all bc what in the actual heck did you know about them in those years you spent apart doing different things and hanging out with different friends/lives barely converging. So while I think it is sad at first and ego is bruised he ultimately made the best decision if neither of you have any real plans of moving to the same country or city. And why would you or why would he. It’s a risk. That’s what he means as well I presume by “commitment”. Sure, you can chalk it up to the fact that you’re “not amazing enough” but it could also be the cold truth that there is really no point. Also finances? Budget? Is he broke or inbetween jobs? No time from work? If he’s decent looking and has a career it’s highly likely he has decent options in his area and can meet new people every week without having to fork out all that cash and spending 95% of your communication via calls or texts. This is also quite boring? A lot of people just aren’t cut out for that and need a lot more physical intimacy and in person time. I understand you have strong feelings but not a lot of people aren’t gonna do ldr for these reasons^

id say chin up and don’t worry about the letting go part. Enjoy all life has to offer and find joys in things big and small. You’re not really letting go of anything when you have a whole world of wonder and things to explore.

Thank you for sharing your story, Glows. It helps getting an insight into how challanging it can be. The risk would definitly be there if the move was premature, but even talking about moving in the future was dismissed as I am sure he knew LD would be tough on him. The aim would have been to close the LD gap within a reasonable amount of time. 

I understand what you mean, and I do think all of the reasons mentioned (if not more) is something he had thoroughly thought about before making up his mind. He did express that he wanted an "in person" relationship with me (or I guess anyone for that matter), as I would with him.. That is why I was so adament on finding a solution to reduce distance/and gain more in person time, but ultimately it wouldn't be the same as if we were in the same city or country. That is why I understand it on a logical level. I think my feelings got the best of me this time.. agh.

Chin up  


I am extremely grateful for your precious reminders of how the situation does not reflect on me as a person, and for helping me gain some valuable perspective (the latter applies to you as well @Gebidozo )
 

[glows]

No worries. So the way to mitigate this sort of hassle as much as possible in future is to either get to know people exclusively in your area so ldr isn’t really an issue or get to know someone and proceed cautiously and early on determine whether closing that gap is feasible. You’re also looking for personality types and character  - ie not someone who lacks maturity and foresight. He basically travelled 15 hrs to see you for giggles and then decided ldr isn’t a good idea. Either he’s lying and just isn’t interested in you or he’s got the foresight of a goldfish. In both instances, not in your favour. I treat all dates like a business meeting until I see they follow through and are interested past looks. Don’t overinvest before meeting anyone like daily texts etc. It’s all false intimacy. 

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Shehaari said:

despite sharing 4-5 days in person together,  the physical and emotional vulnerability felt very natural and easy. It is not something I'm used to, especially the physical part.

That's fair, but that's where I would caution you to use more discretion moving forward. The reason for this is that there are just as many people out there who can have a good time and even have sex with someone without it meaning something more. In other words, you  have attached emotional significance to this and frame it as being vulnerable while he might have simply viewed it as a good time and nice memroy, but didn't have any specific emotional attachment to it. 

Neither of you would be wrong about your own mindset in that case. But what it suggests, regardless of how the man feels, is that you should probably not get physcially intimate with someone before having dated him for a bit to see where things actually go. This will give you time to establish a real connection and assess his intentions with you before placing yourself in an emotionally-vulnerable place with someone you don't know too well. 

[Sanch62]

3 hours ago, glows said:

...You’re also looking for personality types and character  - ie not someone who lacks maturity and foresight. He basically travelled 15 hrs to see you for giggles and then decided ldr isn’t a good idea. Either he’s lying and just isn’t interested in you or he’s got the foresight of a goldfish. ...

This is good to consider if the main thing that makes 'letting go' difficult has been projecting romanticism onto getting prematurely sexual with the guy.

For all you know, this stranger from years ago makes a habit of starting up romantically-charged connections around the world, then he taps back into them whenever his travel plans align with such targets. 

We can't know if this is true, but it might be a less romantic story to decide for yourself if you want to release yourself from fantasizing about him.

[Sanch62]

9 hours ago, Shehaari said:

... And with this experience, I would need to know/learn how to navigate dating in the future, so I can accept reality if things don't work out because of a third factor..
I don't want to end up like this again. 

I hear. We all suffer partings, rejections, and breakups as a natural risk with every encounter. It's a mistake to view this as unique to ourselves. We can adopt resilience as a valuable life skill and mature into it, or we can view ourselves as fragile and believe we are harmed by this. In that case, we'll keep ourselves playing small.

I like @glows and @ExpatInItaly's suggestions to make dating less about whether someone pours it on strongly for you, and more about YOU taking your time to screen THEM.

Dating doesn't imply automatic romance--it's a screening process where most matches are NOT right for us. The less focused you are on projecting romance, the more you can focus on learning the truth about matches. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. The more screening you do, or the more times you get screened out by someone else, the more practiced you become, and this doesn't mean you are LESS close to finding a good match. It's how we learn to uphold our private standards and keep our focus on shooting for those--and passing early on the rest.

Learn how to enjoy the process and not over-invest your body, mind, or emotions unless and until you've taken enough time for a person to reveal their actual character and intentions with you. LD does NOT allow for this--it's a fantasy gamble with high risks based on a bunch of words.

[Shehaari]

Thank you for taking your time and providing me with valuable advice, ladies @glows@ExpatInItaly @Sanch62 

Referring to the falce intimicy part - I never really thought to differentiate between the connection on phone/facetime/text vs in person. It was like I knew him for longer TO be able to get a jist of who he was and his initial character, and once we met, my perseption of him was confirmed and we got along so well enjoying each other's company. New perspective after sharing this post is that we actually don't really know until time passes. Him and I just didn't get time to explore that further, and maybe (at this point in time) it was not meant to be. 

It is like you say @glows If I am to believe him - and I guess we don't really know unless we believe what he is saying- considering the fact that he spent money for travel (accomodation etc), being a handsome guy who probably could get laid back home if he wanted to - I do genuinely believe that he really just has the foresight of a goldfish (unfortunately). Either way I agree that it's not in my favour. With time, I will be ok and a few lessons richer  

For contrast and adding on why the "feeling taken care of" in the presence of a man is important to me and imo. speaks to his character; 

My first local date after my breakup was with a guy I met at the gym a few times. He invited me for dinner one day (which has never happened to me before) so I thought "why not, let me go out if my comfortzone a bit and give it a go". When we got the bill, he paid for himself (fair enough) and when I was to pay for my share, my card got declined several times. This man looks at me before looking away, refusing to at least OFFER to help save me from further embarresment. I did not expect him to pay, and would have given his money back as I didn't want to owe him anything. If he was unsure he wouldn't get his money back, he could have said he wanted it back no? Luckily I managed to find a solution, however after some awkward conversations during dinner and him begging for a kiss on and off the rest of the evening, it all  threw me off completely. Safe to say I did not lower my standard to keep seeing this guy and surprisingly enough I had too much patience for my own good that day. I do hope he found a better match. 

Dating in this day and age can be so exhausting and I don't really want to, but I also want to share my life with a good person, and be that good person for them as well. It's definitly a tug of war.

Edited yesterday at 09:39 AM by Shehaari

[Shehaari]

20 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

In other words, you  have attached emotional significance to this and frame it as being vulnerable while he might have simply viewed it as a good time and nice memroy, but didn't have any specific emotional attachment to it. 

The silence feels so loud today.. I am extremly sad, because THIS is my reality. It's a tough reality to swallow and if i am being honest, it hurts... and it is absolutely no fault of his. Knowing how much it meant to me and not neccesarily to him is both embarresing and sad to admit. 

Thinking out loud: I should be grateful for it not prolonging and having to endure even more heartache further down the line. Allthough I am grateful, the weight it has on my heart is so heavy. It wasn't a relationship, but we acted like a couple in almost every way, once we were together. For all I know he is probably living his best life and here I am being sad trying to move past what never was., but felt genuine to me. How crazy is that??

I feel so weak, when all I have known how to be in life is strong. You are your own worst enemy sometimes. 

[glows]

You can also reframe this 

and think of your emotional depth as a strength and not a hindrance 

That could be your superpower tbf. You don’t have to shape yourself in a pretzel to be like what others say. What works for some may not work for you. I’m thinking here of your friends who told you about non attachment. You appear extremely perceptive and generous at heart. Use that to your benefit and give yourself that level of generosity and kindness. It’s not just for other people or dudes. 

It’s also empowerment learning from past experiences, knowing that you can change or alter the course of an interaction /dating experience just due to placing simple boundaries on texts/calls esp in the early stages before having met. 

good on you for going out and meeting or giving gym guy a chance. Although you mentioned feeling embarrassed due to the payment hiccup you found a solution and the other person exposed themself for lack of graciousness. You saw that and recognized it. Now recognize in yourself that you wouldn’t do that to someone else. You know how to handle stressful situations with grace. That’ll take you pretty far and attract similar people. 

[Sanch62]

14 hours ago, Shehaari said:

Dating in this day and age can be so exhausting and I don't really want to, but I also want to share my life with a good person, and be that good person for them as well. It's definitly a tug of war.

Naaah. You don't need to go on full dates for a first meet. Counter first date offers with an offer to meet for a quick coffee or a short lunch. This is far more common these days than investing the time and effort into often-painful first dates. Those can turn awful in a very short time, so why primp and get dressed up only to get stuck trying not to look at your watch for the next few hours? It's not necessary. Read up on this trend of skipping that.

[Shehaari]

19 hours ago, glows said:

You can also reframe this 

and think of your emotional depth as a strength and not a hindrance 

That could be your superpower tbf. You don’t have to shape yourself in a pretzel to be like what others say. What works for some may not work for you. I’m thinking here of your friends who told you about non attachment. You appear extremely perceptive and generous at heart. Use that to your benefit and give yourself that level of generosity and kindness. It’s not just for other people or dudes. 

It’s also empowerment learning from past experiences, knowing that you can change or alter the course of an interaction /dating experience just due to placing simple boundaries on texts/calls esp in the early stages before having met. 

good on you for going out and meeting or giving gym guy a chance. Although you mentioned feeling embarrassed due to the payment hiccup you found a solution and the other person exposed themself for lack of graciousness. You saw that and recognized it. Now recognize in yourself that you wouldn’t do that to someone else. You know how to handle stressful situations with grace. That’ll take you pretty far and attract similar people. 

You are right. Viewing it as a strength rather than a hindrance is definitively more benefitting. It's just hard when you're in the midst of it all and you're constantly shown the contrary. Having said that, once time passes and I bounce back, I will implement new ways of navigating through dating with the next person.

Thank you, Glows  This life is too short and cruel not to be generous at heart if you have generousity and genuine love to give.
It does comes with a cost though hehe.. I am so used to pouring into other people's cups, that I forget how to pour in my own sometimes. 

My first instict would be to help out for sure. I do hope both my mentality (not the most negative parts of my thoughts obv), and heart does take me far and attract similar people. 

 

11 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

Naaah. You don't need to go on full dates for a first meet. Counter first date offers with an offer to meet for a quick coffee or a short lunch. This is far more common these days than investing the time and effort into often-painful first dates. Those can turn awful in a very short time, so why primp and get dressed up only to get stuck trying not to look at your watch for the next few hours? It's not necessary. Read up on this trend of skipping that.

I get what you mean. Since this guy came all the way to see me, we did spend a lot of time together during those 4-5 days he was here. Not a typical date situation. I will definitly read up on it, and also come back here and re-read all of you guy's reminders

Thank you so much ladies!! You might or might not know it, but you've all had an important impact on me understanding myself through this process and giving me different perspectives to think about, and imply. This is something I wouldn't neccesarily have gained the same way irl. 

Hopefully I can update you with a much happier ending in the future.
For now, I will try getting emotionally stronger and not ruminate on the "what if's" and will focus on doing things differently next time 
 

Edited 3 hours ago by Shehaari