Lack of response

[dogloverof2]

I know that all of our life we meet people, whether at school, work or childhood.  I am an older woman that is still friends with the kids I grew up with in my neighborhood. we see each other sometimes for lunch or dinner but mostly we text or call each other to just check in and see how each other is doing. 

Many years ago, I became friends with a woman that I met thru work. We had tons of fun together. Traveled, went to shows, all that. 

I hadn't heard from her in a long while, so I sent her a card...letting her know I was thinking of her and hoped she was doing okay. and hoped that maybe we could get together soon for dinner. (She had lost her dad a year or so ago). It would be nice to see her and catch up. When her dad passed, I went to the funeral home and that was probably the last time I saw her.

I had kind of hoped she would have reached out by now. I understand that people are busy, and days can get away from us. But for some reason, this is bothering me. Crazy I know. I guess I am just used to my other friends having contact a lot. 

This probably sounds so petty.....

 

 

 

[shimmyshimmy_ya]

Not petty at all.  This is a person who was a part of your life and who you care for who is seemingly ghosting you for no reason at all.  It's understandable to feel hurt.

How long ago did you send the card?  Are you sure the address is still valid?  You are right that people can get busy.  We don't know what she has going on in her life at the time.  It's a possibility she has outgrown your relationship for whatever reason.  Try to be patient waiting for a reply, but know there's a possibility she might just not reply.  Her loss.

[dogloverof2]

I sent the card almost 2 months ago.  Yes the address is still the same. 

I get it that maybe she has outgrown our friendship. It happens. Since I no longer work with her, the day-to-day stuff isn't there, to keep the friendship alive. Maybe one day our paths will cross again and maybe we can pick up where we left off long ago.

Thank you for the reply. 

[Sanch62]

No, not petty, and also not likely any reflection on you. It's possible that starting with the loss of her Dad, or even prior to that, her life hasn't been going in a direction that she feels up to explaining to anyone at this time.

I've had periods like this that I call 'holding patterns'. Possibly mild depression, or otherwise just a feeling of overwhelm that I don't know how to express to anyone who isn't already caught up on my day-to-day.

Often times one event can lead to another and a pile up. While that's typical, and most people can manage to eek out time with a beloved friend, the fact that she's been managing the grief of losing a parent during his time might weigh a lot on her.

I think your card was a lovely idea, and it probably touched her in ways she's just not able to express right now. Head high, and I'm glad you are close to other friends.