I want to travel to visit friend but avoid argument with spouse who can be controlling.

[glows]

I’d write down your priorities clearly on a piece of paper or note on your phone in private and visualize what kind of life you need to feel more balanced. You already know what is important to you but you’re a people pleaser and a pushover and probably codependent to such an extent that it’s now backfired and damaging you. She manipulated from early on. This is about you finding your voice and stop minimizing your needs. This woman unfortunately probably hasn’t a clue who you really are bc you’ve masked your true self for years. Maybe she doesn’t even know you. And vice versa. That’s sad and I can’t imagine for either of you to carry on in such a farce of a marriage.  

[BaileyB]

2 hours ago, Tex Murphy said:

The issue I've always had is when arguments happen or she doesn't want me traveling, or regardless what the issue is... if she brings up pain no matter how valid it is, how are you suppose to go up against that. 

There are people who live with chronic pain and/or are disabled who live independently and support themselves. 

Why do you, and she, not believe that she will be able to manage for a weekend by herself?