Wedding day magic?

[WorldTraveler]

I've been told that everything happens for a reason and I question if what I experienced over the weekend was one of those situations... I had a friend's wedding to attend over the weekend but made the mistake of buying tickets to a sporting event that I really wanted to see that same night without realizing the conflicting dates until the day before the wedding. Well the day of the wedding came and I was fully prepared to leave the wedding early if I had to considering the price I paid for the tickets. Shortly after getting there with my parents, I started mingling with other guests when I saw my mother talking to some of the bridal party that she knew. Well one of the people she was introduced to happened to be this beautiful woman who was the maid of honor. During dinner, my mom pulled me aside where she told me what the maid of honor said to her. A comment to the tune of " your son is gorgeous and it looks like you did a great job raising him, I would go on a date with him if I could". As the night progressed drinks and dancing began. After being encouraged by half of the guests at the wedding, I approached her and we started talking for a while where things immediately clicked. It felt effortless and I had zero nerves whatsoever and this was before the liquid courage mind you. I had numerous people - some who I had never even met before tell me how much this woman was into me and kept pushing me to dance with her. So I did and we spent the rest of the wedding together flirting and even spent an intimate moment slow dancing. As the night progressed it turned into more flirting and exchanging kisses before finally going home together ultimately leading to sex. 

Well the following morning after learning she was going to be in town for the next few days, I texted her to see if she would want to grab dinner and drinks so we could chat more as I didn't want it to feel like just a ONS. Long story short, she was agreeable and we went on dates the following two nights and even spent both nights together before she had to leave town. The entire weekend she and I were incredibly flirty and touchy the whole time getting encouragement from her family and friends after they learned we had been spending time together. Her mom and siblings both gave their own approval and jokingly said "you better get his number and marry this man" because everyone kept noticing how well we were clicking. It truly felt like we had been dating for years considering how natural and effortless everything felt despite just meeting. What amazed me the most was how different this felt from past women. It was so easy and when we went out on our two dates, she was the only woman I would notice in the room. Prior to her, I spent two months trying to figure out if I liked a girl I was dating, whereas with this woman, I knew there were feelings after just three days together. We share the same beliefs, religion, career fields and want the same for our futures and saw very quickly that a lot aligned.

Now for the dilemma.... she lives on the opposite coast as me but has family in my hometown who has been trying to convince her to move home. Ironically both she and I are looking to move cities but not sure where to at this point so we'd pretty much be starting long distance immediately without any kind of basis or established relationship. I think we both realize the challenges this presents as well as the uncertainties. However, as the weekend came to an end, very naturally we had a discussion on what the plan was moving forward. She told me how she thought she wouldn't hear from me again after the wedding, but was excited when I asked her out for dates. Obviously we both knew it sounded crazy to claim exclusivity after just three days together and didn't feel it was right to establish any boundaries at this point. We are both over thinkers however and we agreed to just take it day by day and see what evolves prioritizing full transparency and communication given this unique situation. I told her that if at some point she wanted to establish any kind of loose boundaries to ease any overthinking I'd be open to it. To which she said how she felt like it would probably occur naturally and when it comes up she would be happy to discuss it further if desired. Now obviously I'm not going to get ahead of myself and plan on waiting for some of the emotions to settle, but man what a weekend. It was truly a refreshing experience and would never have happened if the event I had tickets to wasn't cancelled. We haven't made plans for any visits yet but I'd assume that's a very real possibility. It almost feels like it'd be a waste to not at least explore things and at least give it some kind of chance by visiting each other while keeping expectations low considering this interaction we shared.

While I plan to give it some time to allow for reflection and maneuvering of feelings and emotions, I'd be curious if anyone had a similar experience or tips on the best approach for this situation moving forward. Thank you.

 

Edited Tuesday at 04:26 AM by WorldTraveler

[basil67]

I don't think it's crazy to be exclusive after three dates.  In the olden days, we only ever dated one person at a time (or at least, this is how it was in Australia).    There's absolutely nothing wrong with stopping dating others if we want to focus on something which is looking good.   And I think your plan of exploring options while being aware that it's still early days is perfect.

I wish you all the best!

[Sony12]

Yeah you really just have to see how things progress. Things could work out and at the same time they couldn't. Just stay in touch and see what direction your lives take you from here.

Do you two have much freedom from your families or are most of your social activities surrounded by family? Just curious because where I come from where many kids are living on their own by their late teens and early twenties they act like you and this gal did when they are on their own. But when they are around family they usually keep things much more subdued and don't have weekend flings when family is around.

[Els]

Long distance is difficult but very doable, especially if both of you are considering moving in the near future. If things go well, perhaps you could each make a list of places you'd like to live in (and can feasibly do so without career/visa issues), and see if there's overlaps?

 

[smackie9]

Sounds like you both will be flexible in the future as to where you are going to live, etc. If you want it bad enough, it will happen. 

[WorldTraveler]

8 hours ago, Els said:

Long distance is difficult but very doable, especially if both of you are considering moving in the near future. If things go well, perhaps you could each make a list of places you'd like to live in (and can feasibly do so without career/visa issues), and see if there's overlaps?

 

Anything to maintain the feelings and emotions of this weekend? I’m afraid of things going stale or dying before I see her next if all we’re doing is texting daily.

[Sony12]

39 minutes ago, WorldTraveler said:

Anything to maintain the feelings and emotions of this weekend? I’m afraid of things going stale or dying before I see her next if all we’re doing is texting daily.

One thing to keep in mind is that if she was willing to sleep with you that quickly chances are she has done something like that before in the past. Not saying it's wrong to do that but it does likely mean she either has other options right now or it wouldn't take her that long to find other options.

It probably is premature to make a big g deal of it now but the longer you two continue to talk and agree to meet up the better the chances will be that it could turn into something more serious.

[Interstellar]

Sounds like one of those situations where the stars aligned but it would’ve been better if you live closer. What are your ages? 
And what do you mean by establishing loose boundaries? like an open relationship? I wouldn’t have brought that up. 
 

Texting daily will definitely get old. Just cut down the frequency slowly, week by week. 2-3 times a week or a videochat. I had one of those daily texting relationships from back then and yeah, nothing came of it. I’d continue dating other women because the odds of a long distance relationship working out are not good.

 

 

 

[WorldTraveler]

35 minutes ago, Interstellar said:

Sounds like one of those situations where the stars aligned but it would’ve been better if you live closer. What are your ages? 
And what do you mean by establishing loose boundaries? like an open relationship? I wouldn’t have brought that up. 
 

Texting daily will definitely get old. Just cut down the frequency slowly, week by week. 2-3 times a week or a videochat. I had one of those daily texting relationships from back then and yeah, nothing came of it. I’d continue dating other women because the odds of a long distance relationship working out are not good.

 

 

 

Yeah it definitely felt like that. We are 29 and 31 both just tired of the dating pool looking to find some commitment. 

[Sanch62]

Conrats! How lovely. I think your choices will present themselves as you go, but the one thing I'd avoid doing is moving in together to close the distance gap. I'd live near one another and learn how well dating goes while you're in reasonable proximity. Going straight for a shared lease would put too much pressure on both of you, and it could pop that romance bubble prematurely.

EnjOy! I hope you'll revisit and let us know how things go.

[Lotsgoingon]

Don't decide on moving right now. I would say just visit each other. And do the long-distance thing for a while. See how things are and a move to the same locale might just naturally evolve.

And you can talk/face time every day or so ... and you'll learn a lot about each other, a shocking amount even during the long-distance period. 

At some point you will come out of this honeymoon phase. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but even couples with fantastic and quick chemistry come out of the honeymoon phase. Long distance will help you guys see if you really can cooperate and negotiate and work with each other in the real world. You know, the world where one of you is tired and grumpy after a long flight,  or one of you is sick or one of you is having real stress at their job. You don't get a pass on those challenges just because you had powerful chemistry early on. 

 

 

[Els]

21 hours ago, WorldTraveler said:

Anything to maintain the feelings and emotions of this weekend? I’m afraid of things going stale or dying before I see her next if all we’re doing is texting daily.

Don't try to force it IMO. Just text and talk on the phone naturally, and keep an open mind. If it's meant to be, you'll both naturally feel like it's worth waiting for. And if either of you doesn't, then it wasn't really meant to be.

Edited 8 hours ago by Els