Anonymous Posted September 30 Posted September 30 My boyfriend overreacted after he saw my friend who is a female's profile picture. The whatsapp profile picture it's a man and he is a famous athlete. My friend tried to call me and I couldn't hear her. So I opted to text, so I had to go to my whatsapp call history. Tapped on her profile in order to text her, that's when he said I was talking to a man. All my friend wanted from was to give her alternative number to call home in order to drop off my younger brother's food. As we speak he blocked me
Gebidozo Posted September 30 Posted September 30 I don’t know whether your boyfriend’s feelings were “valid” or not, I’m sure they were valid to him, i.e. he wasn’t pretending to be a jealous, possessive control freak. The important thing here is that he blocked you, thus sparing you the time and the effort required to break up with him.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 30 Posted September 30 He can feel however he wants, OP. However, I would not date someone who behaves the way he did. It's immature and punitive. That would be all I needed to know to realize he is not a man I want in my life.
Anonymous Posted September 30 Posted September 30 38 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: He can feel however he wants, OP. However, I would not date someone who behaves the way he did. It's immature and punitive. That would be all I needed to know to realize he is not a man I want in my life. That's true because he ruined his birthday. He is jealous and impulsive. If I use my phone he thinks I am chatting with men.I have given him assurance that it's him alone. He never accorded me the opportunity to explain and left the restaurant and left my clothes outside his apartment.
Anonymous Posted September 30 Posted September 30 59 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: I don’t know whether your boyfriend’s feelings were “valid” or not, I’m sure they were valid to him, i.e. he wasn’t pretending to be a jealous, possessive control freak. The important thing here is that he blocked you, thus sparing you the time and the effort required to break up with him. He was obviously jealous and impulsive. He has trust issues and he didn't give me an opportunity to explain or try to call whilst we are still together. When I tried to explain by email, he says why wait after hours to explain. It means I have asked my friend to lie on my behalf.
Gebidozo Posted September 30 Posted September 30 8 hours ago, Anonymous said: If I use my phone he thinks I am chatting with men.I have given him assurance that it's him alone. Why would you even think of being together with a possessive person who controls you to such degree that you can’t even chat with whomever you like to? Just forget about him and find a normal man who wouldn’t bother you with insane jealousy.
Anonymous Posted September 30 Posted September 30 10 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Why would you even think of being together with a possessive person who controls you to such degree that you can’t even chat with whomever you like to? Just forget about him and find a normal man who wouldn’t bother you with insane jealousy. Perhaps I was blinded by love or trauma bond. I pray I find courage to get over him and be with someone who wouldn't treat me as such.
Acacia98 Posted October 1 Posted October 1 2 hours ago, Anonymous said: I pray I find courage to get over him and be with someone who wouldn't treat me as such. You have it within you already, OP.
Anonymous Posted October 1 Posted October 1 4 minutes ago, Acacia98 said: You have it within you already, OP. Thanks, I will try to fight to get over him
ExpatInItaly Posted October 1 Posted October 1 On 9/30/2025 at 6:22 AM, Anonymous said: If I use my phone he thinks I am chatting with men.I have given him assurance that it's him alone. He never accorded me the opportunity to explain and left the restaurant and left my clothes outside his apartment. This is ridiculous behaviour on his part, I would have nothing further to do with him. He treats you terribly. How long have you been tolerating this, and why do you think you have gone along with it?
Anonymous Posted October 1 Posted October 1 18 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: This is ridiculous behaviour on his part, I would have nothing further to do with him. He treats you terribly. How long have you been tolerating this, and why do you think you have gone along with it? 17 months already, I don't even know why I have tolerated this further. Perhaps trauma bond.I have realized that I can't take it anymore. I am friendly by nature and with him, I couldn't interact with males without him assuming I am flirting.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 2 Posted October 2 4 hours ago, Anonymous said: 17 months already, I don't even know why I have tolerated this further. Perhaps trauma bond. What have your previous relationships been like?
Sanch62 Posted October 2 Posted October 2 I would view being blocked by someone like this as a godsend. You dodged a bullet. Reconnect with family and friends from whom this guy has tried to isolate you, and recognize that he's spared you from stalking and further controlling and potentially abusive behavior down the road. Instead of telling yourself that this must be difficult, I'd turn the tables and appreciate what you can accomplish now that you are liberated. It's all about how you frame it.
glows Posted October 2 Posted October 2 There’s not enough context honestly for the last 17 months. For someone to flip out like this and block you and put your things outside it means he’s done and this is likely not the first time disagreements like this have come up. I have no idea what the nature of your interactions have been with other men but it’s clear that he doesn’t agree with you. He broke up with you meaning it’s finished and he blocked you meaning he doesn’t want you to contact him. He has a right to that and disagree with your opinion or actions. He also has a right not to trust you if he doesn’t feel he can trust you. It’s best to just step back and let this go. It probably wasn’t working for a long time and neither had the strength to end it. You should block his contact too and learn from the experience. Ask yourself what matters to you in a partner? Someone more aligned with your views and just as outgoing and social who also has lots of female friends? That way you won’t make the same mistakes again. Move forward from this.
Anonymous Posted October 2 Posted October 2 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: What have your previous relationships been like? I have been in healthy relationship before and sometimes I wish to be in that kind of relationship. I never had to explain why I was on my phone. This is my first time experiencing this kind of relationship.
Anonymous Posted October 2 Posted October 2 5 hours ago, Sanch62 said: I would view being blocked by someone like this as a godsend. You dodged a bullet. Reconnect with family and friends from whom this guy has tried to isolate you, and recognize that he's spared you from stalking and further controlling and potentially abusive behavior down the road. Instead of telling yourself that this must be difficult, I'd turn the tables and appreciate what you can accomplish now that you are liberated. It's all about how you frame it. That's what I am trying to do. I am trying to move on and focus on myself
Anonymous Posted October 2 Posted October 2 2 hours ago, glows said: There’s not enough context honestly for the last 17 months. For someone to flip out like this and block you and put your things outside it means he’s done and this is likely not the first time disagreements like this have come up. I have no idea what the nature of your interactions have been with other men but it’s clear that he doesn’t agree with you. He broke up with you meaning it’s finished and he blocked you meaning he doesn’t want you to contact him. He has a right to that and disagree with your opinion or actions. He also has a right not to trust you if he doesn’t feel he can trust you. It’s best to just step back and let this go. It probably wasn’t working for a long time and neither had the strength to end it. You should block his contact too and learn from the experience. Ask yourself what matters to you in a partner? Someone more aligned with your views and just as outgoing and social who also has lots of female friends? That way you won’t make the same mistakes again. Move forward from this. I had a good relationship previously, I have never been accused of cheating. He trusted me and our separation wasn't about cheating. I got blocked without explaining myself and the truth is, I was chatting with my best friend, who I had previously asked to help with my brother. I am based overseas so, most of the time I request for her assistance. The only issue is that she used a male athlete as DP. He didn't try to ask me, to show him the contents of my conversation with my friend.I must say my partner had trust issues from his previous relationships. I tried to show him I was committed to him. I had to cut how I interact with my male friends and colleagues. When he is angry, he doesn't want to sit and discuss things. He would rather leave. It's not my fault that he doesn't trust me. I have never cheated on him or in any of my previous relationships. Like you mentioned, he is not someone I want to be with anymore. I miss being friendly around people not being scared if he sees me smiling he might think I am flirting.
glows Posted October 2 Posted October 2 7 hours ago, Anonymous said: I had a good relationship previously, I have never been accused of cheating. He trusted me and our separation wasn't about cheating. I got blocked without explaining myself and the truth is, I was chatting with my best friend, who I had previously asked to help with my brother. I am based overseas so, most of the time I request for her assistance. The only issue is that she used a male athlete as DP. He didn't try to ask me, to show him the contents of my conversation with my friend.I must say my partner had trust issues from his previous relationships. I tried to show him I was committed to him. I had to cut how I interact with my male friends and colleagues. When he is angry, he doesn't want to sit and discuss things. He would rather leave. It's not my fault that he doesn't trust me. I have never cheated on him or in any of my previous relationships. Like you mentioned, he is not someone I want to be with anymore. I miss being friendly around people not being scared if he sees me smiling he might think I am flirting. Thanks for confirming and giving a bit more context. I agree with you this was incredibly unhealthy and glad he’s gone x he never respected you! This is a huge blessing.
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