glows Posted yesterday at 06:14 AM Posted yesterday at 06:14 AM I don’t think he likes you. He’s waiting for you to end it. People like this are just immature and having a partner for convenience/sex/company whenever they want on their terms. He’s not actually interested in you and he doesn’t like you 1
Author Tennisnonpro1223 Posted 22 hours ago Author Posted 22 hours ago Met this man 8 years ago. Both in (unhappy) marriages. Weren’t seeking anything. Had tremendous respect for each other at work (everyone knew he “only listened to me”, no matter how many others tried to influence him, and none of us knew why). My husband had (before this guy) asked for a divorce while I was pregnant. This guy was there. When I had a newborn & was alone, when I couldn’t have my child’s party because of Covid, it was the 3 of us. We called each other best friends. And we were lovers. We had the most passionate sex, every time. I assumed it was just the novelty but it never wore off. But he had a lot of guilt about Jews not believing in divorce, about leaving his kids back in California because of our crazy Wall Street career opportunities. He always said we were “only friends.” So I moved on, and any time I did he got insanely jealous. So did I of him. It was toxic, we both said & did a lot (mostly out of jealousy) to hurt the other. You’d assume we’d never talk again, that it’s in the past. but we could never stay away from each other. I blocked him for a year once in a new relationship. That guy (you can see from my other thread) seems to be an avoidant alcoholic. As soon as I messaged my 8-year guy, it was like we were both all in. He wants to take me on dates. Come over and be passionate. I think I should refuse it all, because why would I think it’s going anywhere? But.., I’ve long had the feeling that no one would still be in each others lives like this after most of a decade just for sexual attraction. I feel like he’s my soulmate. Truly don’t know what to do
S2B Posted 21 hours ago Posted 21 hours ago (edited) Well, if you restart it with him - make sure you have no expectations of him becoming available. he will take you for the friendship and sex - but beyond that - nothing. and remember you likely won’t be looking for the right guy while you’re with him… so there is that road block to consider. it laughable he doesn’t believe in divorce / but he’s willing to participate in an affair. Is that approved within his “religion”? Edited 21 hours ago by S2B 2
MsJayne Posted 17 hours ago Posted 17 hours ago 4 hours ago, Tennisnonpro1223 said: he had a lot of guilt about Jews not believing in divorce, about leaving his kids back in California But he's ok with conducting a secret relationship behind his wife's back. That kind of hypocrisy is an indicator of this guy's self-absorption and arrogance. He's full of it, and you should protect yourself by keeping your distance. You want love and romance, and that's why you're interpreting his attention as romantic and meant-to-be, but he actually just wants an affair, and if he has to mislead you to get it, he will. It helps his cause no end if you're willing to see him as a romantic hero instead of a sleazy philanderer.
Sanch62 Posted 15 hours ago Posted 15 hours ago 6 hours ago, Tennisnonpro1223 said: Truly don’t know what to do None of this explains why you won't dump the nasty drunk guy. It's not as though he's been out drinking all night out of any loyalty to you, and he speaks to you like a piece of dung.
basil67 Posted 13 hours ago Posted 13 hours ago @Tennisnonpro1223 Why are you making so many threads about this guy? You're not going to get different answers
Author Tennisnonpro1223 Posted 11 hours ago Author Posted 11 hours ago (edited) even though I’ve been trying to bring my best to this relationship for the last year, I’m left feeling like nothing- “Oh, you want to ask me to text when I’m home safely instead of disappearing overnight, when we both know I drunk drive? How annoying and f*****g insecure of you. Let me tell you I need space & time & then never contact you for a week plus.” How can I be so insignificant that he didn’t once think, “she really didn’t do anything that bad, I miss her. Let me text her”? meanwhile this other guy, to whom I did some hurtful things, still feels for me after 8 years of knowing me and is texting me constantly and can’t wait to see me again and is planning more “dates” than the guy I was in a real relationship with for a year. Could you say it’s just the novelty or the sexual attraction? After he’s known me 8 years, I’d think I would be replaced and no-contact just fine. Edited 11 hours ago by Tennisnonpro1223
ExpatInItaly Posted 9 hours ago Posted 9 hours ago Wait, let me see if I have this stragiht: One of your boyfriends is a nasty drunk. The other is married. Girl. Your picker. It is broken.
Sanch62 Posted 8 hours ago Posted 8 hours ago 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Wait, let me see if I have this stragiht: One of your boyfriends is a nasty drunk. The other is married. Girl. Your picker. It is broken. Yep. With millions of men in the world, you're deliberately narrowing your own options down to these two losers? Nobody here can expand your vision FOR you. That's an inside job. Instead of complaining about the drunk guy, which gets you nowhere, why not try to discuss some ideas about ways you can meet some new people?
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