Haven't even been married 1 years, but I think my marriage is over

[Anonymous]

Haven't even been married 1 years and my husband has already cheated. Communication stopped months ago, only have sex once a month if I'm lucky, and he has lied to me and has been texting another girl and exchanging photos. I was leaving him then he said he wanted to talk about it. I did all the talking, told him how bad he hurt me and all he said was that he knows he was wrong. He met the girl through a game and after telling him it upsets me that he's still playing that same game and using the chat he continues. He's uncomfortable and gets upset when I try to talk about it but what about MY feelings. I just don't know what to do!!

[stillafool]

I'm so sorry you are going through this, and it must be very painful to have to deal with his cheating.  Did he cheat on you in the past before you married?  Did he propose marriage to you, or did you ask him to marry you?

[shimmyshimmy_ya]

Yes, I'd like to know the details of the marriage also because it sounds like he was not ready to commit.  Bottom line, if you want to salvage the relationship, you need to get to work together on it.  He needs to take your feelings into consideration and make some changes to show that he is respectful of your feelings.  Going back and using the same game/chat is inconsiderate and dismissive.

Also, think on why he may have gone outside the marriage for a connection.  How have things been between you?  Have you been pushing him away at all?  Not lying blame on you at all, but oftentimes when people cheat it's because their needs aren't being met, so they get into a victim mentality where they felt they NEEDED to go outside the relationship.

If he really wants to keep this relationship, he needs to leave comfort behind and face the problems head on.  If you really want to keep this relationship, you have a lot of work to do on forgiveness.  Can you see yourself forgiving him for his unfaithfulness?  Get back to basics and start communicating.  Decide what you will need to feel safe moving forward.  Is he open about his phone? (meaning, can you look at it anytime or is he willing to show you?)  Not for nothing, but he has some atonement to do for his actions.  Sorry this has happened to you.