Guest Posted September 22 Posted September 22 Hi, I'm a 42 year old woman who's been dating a 48 year old man for 5 weeks now. In those 5 weeks we've seen each other 5 times (once a week). The first 3 dates we met out in a public place where we got on very well, with no awkwardness. At the end of the dates we have a kiss and a cuddle but he always makes it passionate. On one occasion he even touched me down below in the private area. I told him to stop which he did and he apologised for getting carried away. I will say that from the beginning until the 4 th date he didn't seem to text a great deal between dates which I didn't have a problem with as I know that not everyone in their 40s is glued to their phones like teenagers are these days. We seemed to text each other a couple of times a week. On our 4th date I did have a little talk with him about what we both want. I told him that I don't do one night stands or friends with benefits. He said that he felt the same but wanted to take it slow and eventually he wants a relationship. After this he's been texting me everyday with sweet messages like 'morning gorgeous ' etc and then we met up a 5th time a week later where I went to his place one afternoon where we just spent time together. We went out to have a walk around his local town, bought takeaway and went back to eat it at his place then spent the evening talking a lot. We did sleep together that night but I will say I didn't feel pressured to do so as he did offer me a spare bed to sleep in originally. During sex he appeared that he wasn't just in it for himself. After he did like having a cuddle then eventually the next morning made me breakfast. All in all I couldn't of faulted him as he was such a sweet guy. After breakfast we sat and talked for a while and it was quite a deep conversation. I talked about losing my mum to cancer and how my aunt now also has cancer and he talked about his parents divorcing when he was 3 because his dad cheated on his mum. After this I left to go home and he then had to go and visit family. We text each other later that day. I do know that he's more of an introvert rather than an extrovert because he told me at one point that he does like some 'down time' and he's busy doing up his flat he's just moved into and he tries to see his 2 daughters as much as he can as they live with their mum not with him and he does go to church once a week. So with this in mind I do understand that he has a different lifestyle to me. I live on my own without children. He does talk about seeing each other again for a 6th time which I agreed to. I'm a bit out of touch as I haven't had a relationship for about 10 years. The thing is I'm in 2 minds to whether he wants to have a serious relationship but he's just being cautious as he is a divorced man who said his marriage to his ex wife was all about her life, or he's just using me as friends with benefits even though I told him I didn't want this. I did talk about it to friend who seems to think he seems genuine and that he be just a little sensitive after is ex wife and that I'm being paranoid as I've dated horrible men in the past who's treated me in a negative way. What does anyone else think.
Sony12 Posted September 22 Posted September 22 You'll just have to see how things go from here. Usually when they are just interested in casual they start becoming less interested once they have gotten what they wanted. It will take a bit longer to find out. Just continue to go on dates with him and enjoy yourself and you will eventually find out what his true intentions are.
stillafool Posted September 22 Posted September 22 7 hours ago, Jo198339 said: The thing is I'm in 2 minds to whether he wants to have a serious relationship but he's just being cautious as he is a divorced man who said his marriage to his ex wife was all about her life, or he's just using me as friends with benefits even though I told him I didn't want this. May I ask why you didn't get clarity as to what you guys were before you had sex with him since this is so important to you?
smackie9 Posted September 23 Posted September 23 Sex is not a currency for a relationship. Sex is just sex, something you two consented to and enjoyed. No one is using you if this doesn't turn into a relationship. He's taking it slow to get to know you, the sex is just a plus. Make sure you keep going out on quality dates, enjoy getting to know one another, have lots of communication. Have fun. If things don't progress just simply end it. 1
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