skoocher Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 First of all, I'll need some patience from everyone. I've never tried using one of these forums before. This may be a bit long. I apologize in advance. I'll be 25 years old in a few months, and am recently divorced. While my divorce was being processed, I went to a party with a friend of mine. I'm apparently pretty dull when it comes to flirting and such, but before I knew it I found myself hang out quite exclusively with a new student in the area that was also at the party (I've never been to college myself but live in a small college town). Before I knew it, we were out on a beach just hanging out all night. I found myself very attracted and drawn to this person. I found out after the fact that they were indeed only 18 years old, but their personality, and our similarities - well, I was just really drawn to them as a person. I avoided contacting them after being out on the beach, but eventually had to break down and do it. They admitted the same. We began spending time around each other quite a bit. The more and more time we spent around each other, the more and more similarities we found. The more and more I found myself caring for them and being attracted to them. We went through a few periods where we would end up cuddling or something on my couch. He'd spend the night. The next morning we'd both act a bit odd about it. We'd decide it could be strange or weird to have more than a friendship, agree it was for the best, and then not be able to stand by our decision. Finally, we just decided to let that go and sort of pursue something. We got closer and closer. He began practically living at my house. He told me while I was out of town that he loved me, and I realized I had fallen in love with him as well. When returning home for Christmas break, his performance in school led his parents to the decision that they were no longer willing to foot the bill for it. Although he considered finding some way to apply for a loan, the timing was simply not there and he could attend free classes at a college his mother works at. After a bit of deliberation, we both agreed that it would be best at this point to simply be friends. We were both adamant that we wanted to remain friends regardless of what happened. I know a lot of people in his area, and recently became unemployed. Work prospects in my area leave something to be desired. I have been thinking of moving near his location for years. And now I plan on living there in a months time or so. We talked about this, and understand that it would be a good change for me to be in a new city with a new job. I was worried about moving there. I guess I realized that I was still in love with him very much, and I realized that being closer to where he is may make it harder to move on and lose that feeling. When I talked with him about it, he admitted he's still in love with me as well. And now we're both very unsure of what we should do next. Neither of us wants the other person to simply disappear and force the other to move on. And he is young, and worried that he is too young to know if being with me or in love with me is right for him. We're both very logical people, and try as we might to logic around this we realize you can use logic on emotions very well. What would you do in this sort of situation if you found yourself in it? Would you pursue it, to see where it took you, or would you try and find a better way of moving on while remaining friends? I must admit, this is the best relationship I have ever been in. We're very similar people with a lot of the same morals, ethics, and goals in life. It's absolutely the most rewarding and fulfilling relationship I have ever been in all my life. But I agree that he is young, and I don't want to hold him back from anything. The two of us seem to have a real inability to remain away from each other. We've spoken every day he's been gone. We've admitted to staying up at night worrying or thinking about the other person. And neither of us have moved on just yet. We've both admitted to try and failing because we still love each other. But because I do love him, and want to see him as happy as possible, I'm willing to try and remain just friends if that is what would indeed be best for him. Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation?
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